Colbycats - who copied who and who did it best?

[Willie Oleson]

A SoapLand mini-battle, as it were. Well of course there's nothing "mini" about the furs, grandeurs and dramas of the DYNASTY supersoaps.


1. Wrong Assassinee

THE COLBYS 22-1-1987: Senator Cash Cassidy


DYNASTY 20-1-1988: Wannabe Governor Alexis Rowan

 

[James from London]

I think The Colbys‘ version was more dramatic but Dynasty‘s was funnier.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Yes, in The Colbys it is "WAAAAAH!", the reaction in Dynasty is "oh!" and "mother!", as if to identify the assassinee for Radio Dynasty.
None of the Carringtons are particularly concerned about their own safety, like they already know it is going to be just the one shot. The most dramatic thing that happens is Steven fighting off the photographers and that's in the next episode.

If I didn't know what was going on I think this could have been Fallon's reaction in a flashback re-shoot of the Two Princes episode if Steven had dropped the vase.

Which is exactly what Sable Colby is going to do, but only to prank Ivana Trump.


Joan Collins had a opening sequence title card, James Houghton didn't. It's the difference between being safe and not being safe unless "it" happens in the season finale episode or unless the character is completely undervalued (*cough*Peter De Vilbis*cough*).
On the other hand, since this was the meatier storyline for the oldest Colby daughter it seemed unlikely that they would sabotage that by removing one of the key players in that drama - but "unlikely" is still "uncertain" enough.

There's not a big difference from a dramatic point of view but THE COLBYS made it look more dramatic and chaotic, and sometimes that's more important than the end result.

THE COLBYS - 2*
DYNASTY - 0

*unless James' comment wasn't really a choice.

 

[James from London]

*unless James' comment wasn't really a choice.

Um, it wasn't really, but what the heck?

In a fit a self-indulgence, I looked up what I wrote previously about both would-be assassinations:

the safeguards taken by Jason Colby cannot prevent the assassination attempt against him at the end of this week’s ep. It takes place at the Jefferson Hotel during a press conference and is the best staged Soap Land shooting since the Belmar Hotel sequence at the end of KNOTS’ fifth season. Now as then, the wrong person is shot as Cash takes the bullet for Jason. (Oh my God — they killed Kenny!) I particularly liked the double-cross moment in the ensuing chaos where the bad guys’ inside man on the hotel security team shoots the assassin dead (“You. You set me up”). DALLAS tried something similar during the Martinique shoot-out last season’s, but that moment was nowhere near as effective.

The last time I watched the scene of Cash’s shooting, I remember noticing that Monica’s hair had been styled in an unusually ‘60s way and that her clothes resembled those of Jackie Kennedy’s on the day of JFK’s assassination. This time around, the comparison seems less obvious — although the moment where she kneels over Cash’s body, her hand covered in his blood, suggests that perhaps I wasn’t imagining things after all.

DYNASTY ends with a thrillingly twisted variation on the end of KNOTS’ fifth season. Instead of taking a bullet intended for her estranged husband in the lobby of the Belmar Hotel as Karen Mackenzie did, Alexis takes one meant for her ex-husband Blake on live TV during a political debate. Not only that, but the shooter is her new husband Sean! Husband shoots wife (albeit by mistake) — it’s a Soap Land first!

As Soap Land shootings go, Alexis’s is a pretty casual affair. (“The bullet only grazed her skull,” reports her doctor — the same doctor Pam Ewing met in Jamaica when she was looking for Mark Graison, only without the cool Caribbean accent.) She’s out of the hospital by episode's end and doesn’t even require a Sable-style turban to hide her tiny bandage. However, she’s still determined to pull out of the election (“This campaign’s almost cost me my life!”) — until she realises that the shooting has dramatically increased her chances of winning. “You’re a heroine,” Gordon Wales, ace reporter and a recurring thorn in both Alexis’ and Blake’s sides, informs her during his final DYNASTY scene. “The sympathy and concern is pouring in … If you ran for the presidency tonight, you’d give the front runners a run for their money.” This is presumably a reference to the real-life US presidential elections of 1988, which means that Wales’s remark that “digging up dirt on candidates may be hot right now” most likely alludes to the scandal surrounding Gary Hart, the Democratic nominee who had recently dropped out of said election due to allegations of an extramarital affair. These references follow on from Dave Culver’s mention of Iran and the Contras during last week’s DALLAS, and Alexis’ and Abby’s recent shout-outs to Margaret Thatcher and Ayatollah Khomeini. Now that the primetime soap is no longer the hot cultural item it once was, placing the shows’ fictional events in a present real-world context might be an attempt to keep them seeming relevant and contemporary. There’s further blurring between truth and fiction when Alexis receives a get-well message “from The White House”. The last time Reagan impacted Soap Land so directly was when he called Senator Dowling during last season’s DALLAS.

 

[Willie Oleson]

In a fit a self-indulgence,

Whatever it takes to make me reminisce the great VERSUS threads. Can't wait to see what bubbles up in the next Colbycat battle!

 

[Willie Oleson]

2. Swimming Pool Decadence

DYNASTY 15-12-1982: Fallon and Mark


THE COLBYS 30-10-1986: Unknown guests

 

[James from London]

Well, DYNASTY's was certainly the more memorable of the two.

Here's what I wrote about the La Mirage opening:

There may be no Christmas in Soap Land this year, but two of this week's shows are nonetheless in a party mood - DYNASTY is celebrating the grand opening of Fallon’s hotel and the Ewings of DALLAS are throwing their annual barbecue. Both gatherings have a dress theme - DYNASTY’s is the roaring twenties (“Those must have been the most wonderful carefree days,” sighs Alexis, "people innocently pursuing their pleasure-filled lives”) while the barbecue guests all show up in traditional Western garb.

The parties at La Mirage and Southfork are both disrupted by characters making spectacles of themselves. On DYNASTY, a crowd gathers to watch Fallon charlestoning tipsily on the hotel diving board alongside Mark Jennings, before they tumble fully-clothed into the pool and share a kiss. Aside from Jeff pursing his lips in disapproval, the party guests seem happy to indulge their hostess’s folly. The cartel and Cliff angrily confronting JR at the barbecue over his cut-price gas stations is less well received, with Bobby and Ray sticking up for their brother (“If there’s any blood spilled here today, I guarantee you, it won’t just be Ewing blood!”) and Miss Ellie angrily voicing her disapproval: “Go home! Go home, all of you!” In each instance, the characters embody the periods their party outfits are meant to evoke. While Fallon plays the madcap ‘20s heiress - decadent, irresponsible, narcissistic - the Ewings band sternly together on the Southfork patio, looking for all the world like a pioneer family protecting their homestead from outsiders.

And about Sable's gala:

A week after the grand opening of the Del Oro Spa on FALCON CREST comes the grand reopening of Lotus Point on KNOTS. Simultaneously, Sable throws a charity gala in aid of her new dance company on THE COLBYS. Guest of honour Kolya treats the crowd to a balletic variation on Michael Jackson’s 'Billie Jean' moves before inviting Miles and Jeff to join him in some more traditional Cossack dancing. (The sight of two tuxedoed regulars summoned to the dance floor by a flamboyant foreigner recalls Francesca Gioberti involving Lance Cumson in her tarantella a couple of years ago — minus the underlying melodrama.) Surprisingly, stuffy old Jeff proves more adept at the squat-and-kick routine than extrovert Miles, who ends up on his back gamely reenacting the Dying Fly (a short-lived dance craze from ‘70s kids show TISWAS). Over at the KNOTS party, a tipsy Sylvia Lean relives her showgirl youth by jitterbugging energetically with a passing extra. Despite the objections of her newly-elected senator son Peter Hollister — he accuses her of making a spectacle of herself — Sylvia’s reckless shimmying wows the crowd and ultimately outshines Kolya’s more disciplined choreography, thereby making her the winner of the inaugural Soap Land Dance-Off.

Back at the Colby gala, old jealousies resurface between Jeff and Miles and they end up duking it out in the pool, Southfork-style. When some of the guests take this as a cue to rip off their own clothes and jump in after them, the party starts to recall the opening night of La Mirage four years earlier. Back then, Fallon was the principle instigator of the hi-jinx while Jeff looked on with prim disapproval. Now, the situation is reversed — Jeff is the one in the pool while a distressed Fallon watches tearfully from the sidelines.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Well, DYNASTY's was certainly the more memorable of the two.

And the most memorable of anything La Mirage.
I had considered the swimming pool decadence from season 1, when Krystle expresses her disapproval of Jeff and Fallon's frivolity that could embarrass Blake.
That opinion is going to backfire when Fallon starts to quote Krystle and Matthew's secret conversation.

Anyway, the DYNASTY party looks exactly the way it is supposed to look and it's happening in the era (the early 80s, not the 20s) when falling into a swimming pool is still considered to be some kind of spectacle.
That's not how I feel about THE COLBYS party but what I do like is the juxtaposition of the sqeals of bacchanalian joy and the dramatic score - thankfully nothing like Dynasty's hysterical violins - and while Fallon's misery is not exactly the most heartrending thing I've ever seen I think it captures the idea of the rich and beautiful SoapLand folks, the ones who have it all and still manage to be unhappy 24/7. It reminds me of the finale scene of Dallas' mini-season.
Therefore my point goes to THE COLBYS.

 

[Willie Oleson]

3. Little Brother's Surprise Return

DYNASTY 5-3-1986: Ben Carrington


THE COLBYS 26-2-1987: Phillip Colby

 

[Richard Channing]

3. Little Brother's Surprise Return

DYNASTY 5-3-1986: Ben Carrington
View attachment 35907

THE COLBYS 26-2-1987: Phillip Colby
View attachment 35908

I think we have to give this one to The Colbys. There's no more surprising a return than coming back from the dead and no more dramatic moment to do it than on your wife's wedding to your brother. Philip really nailed it.

 

[Tony]

I think that's part of the problem of The Colbys - de ja vu plot lines which were seen on Dynasty and seemingly rehashed, even though The Colbys may have executed some of those plots better, we'd seen it before on Dynasty.

The most obvious one is the Jeff/Fallon/Miles baby triangle which mirror Jeff/Kirby/Adam.

 

[Willie Oleson]

It's going fast but you can still choose your favourite from the other colbycat themes. I'll simply adjust the score every time a vote comes in.

So far, including your vote, we have
THE COLBYS - 4
DYNASTY - 1

Ben's unmasking is delightfully theatrical, and how could it not with those costumes, but the look on his face doesn't reveal all that much.
Oddly enough that's exactly what the scene has in common with its Colbys counterpart, except that the look on Phillip's face doesn't reveal anything at ALL.
Heck, he could have been a figment of Frankie's imagination - the way it happened in the finale scene of Six Feet Under - and it still could have played out in a similar fashion.
Combined with the superstition of the shooting star in Morocco it also has a whiff of Twin Peaks.
But I was mega-excited about the other Carrington so I'm giving this vote to DYNASTY.

 

[James from London]

3. Little Brother's Surprise Return

Oh that's a tough one. Again, DYNASTY's was more fun -- cos we were in on Alexis's plan from the start -- whereas THE COLBYS was more dramatic -- cos Phillip being Phillip came as almost as much of a shock to us as it did to Frankie baby.

Let the battle of the masquerade balls — one thrown by Alexis Colby on DYNASTY, the other by Angelica Nero on DALLAS — commence. Behind each woman’s hospitality lies a devious plan requiring the identity of one guest in particular to be concealed until the end of the party. “I have got a reunion planned for you and your brother that he’s never going to forget,” Alexis explains to Ben Carrington. "I can’t wait to see Blake’s face when he first sees you!” “I thought it would be the best way for you and Jack to be seen,” Angelica informs JR, "but at the same time hidden behind masks. The oil people should see just enough of Jack to be sure he is Dimitri."

The climax of the DYNASTY and DALLAS parties each arrives during a speech. Blake is mid-way through his equivalent of the “thank you for coming and being so generous” address Sue Ellen delivered at the medical fundraiser on DALLAS a few weeks ago when brother Ben removes his disguise to reveal his true identity. And it’s when a reluctant Jack is brought to the podium to make a speech as Dimitri Marinos that his would-be killer takes aim (with a bow and arrow as opposed to a gun, which at least is novel). JR shouts out a warning, he and Jack take cover and a shootout, nowhere near as excitingly staged as the Moldavian massacre, occurs in which no significant characters are harmed.

The final moments of each episode really sum up the difference between them. After exchanging a variety of threats and ultimatums with Blake, Ben strides up to Alexis, who is dressed as Madame de Pompadour at this point, takes her gloved hand and kisses it. They then glower and gloat at each other malevolently as the music builds to a crescendo around them. It’s really over the top and funny. DALLAS, meanwhile, ends with JR and Jack both sat on their bottoms wearing silly capes and looking a bit bewildered. “I think the masquerade is over,” JR concludes. Well, someone had to say it.

As for the two weddings in this week’s Soap Land, one is a low key affair (Emma and Vince Karlotti’s on FALCON CREST) while the other, Jason and Frankie’s on THE COLBYS, is anything but. The final scene of this week’s episode takes two show-stopping Soap Land scenarios — the wedding day bombshell (e.g., Pam Ewing learning that Jenna is carrying Bobby’s child just before she walks down the aisle) and a resurrection from the dead (e.g., Pam Ewing finding Mark Graison in her back garden and then collapsing into his arms) — and combines them in one almighty cliffhanger. Midway through her wedding vows, Frankie spots Hoyt Parker in the congregation and freezes. “Oh my God … him!” she finally gasps. Jason follows her gaze and manages to identify the man as “Phil, my brother!” before Frankie, just like Pam Ewing before her, faints in his arms.

 

[Willie Oleson]

whereas THE COLBYS was more dramatic -- Phillip being Phillip came as almost as much of a shock to us as it did to Frankie baby.

Oh...I didn't remember that we didn't know that Hoyt Parker was Phillip!

 

[James from London]

Oh...I didn't remember that we didn't know that Hoyt Parker was Phillip!

At least I don't think we did.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Maybe it depends on the first episode that showed his title card in the opening credits. I could check the DVDs but can we be sure that these are 100% accurate i.e. exactly the way it appeared in its original US broadcast?
More importantly, did they recognize him as Hoyt Parker, the one who tried to shoot them? But it's not possible to recognize someone as two different persons...oh well never mind.

4. Jeff & Fallon Colby Wedding Arrests

DYNASTY 9-5-1984: Alexis Dexter, for the murder of one Mark Howard Jennings


THE COLBYS 20-3-1986: Miles Colby, for the murder of William Mahoney (who?)

 

[James from London]

did they recognize him as Hoyt Parker, the one who tried to shoot them?

Jason helpfully identifies him as “Phil, my brother!” at the altar.

it's not possible to recognize someone as two different persons

Maybe if you have multiple personalities?

Jeff & Fallon Colby Wedding Arrests

Oh this is a clear win for DYNASTY - everything about it was more significant: the murder, the victim, the wedding, the timing of the arrest (before rather than after the wedding).

William Mahoney (who?)

I'm still not sure.

While the DYNASTY wedding guests wonder what has become of the bride, a detective arrives at the Carrington mansion to speak to Alexis. Their subsequent exchange reminds me of the scene at the end of “Blackmail” (DALLAS Season 4) where the police show up at Ewing Oil to talk to Bobby. Alexis thinks the police are at the house due to Fallon’s disappearance while Bobby assumes their visit to his office is connected to Lucy’s. “We don’t know anything about your daughter/niece,” they reply. Instead, they explain, they want to talk to Alexis and Bobby about the suspicious deaths of the men who were blackmailing them — Mark Jennings and Jeff Farraday respectively. Adding to the sense of déjà vu, the sergeant who then arrests Alexis for Mark’s murder is played by the same actor who killed Jeff Farraday.

Not for nothing is this episode of DYNASTY called ‘Nightmare’. What worse fate could a Soap Land alpha male imagine than the loss of his beloved company? It’s a demise that every businessman from Jock and JR on DALLAS to incompetent old Claude Weldon on FLAMINGO ROAD has come perilously close to, only to sidestep at the last moment. But in the DYNASTY season finale, the unthinkable actually happens to Blake Carrington. Likewise, what could be more devastating for a Soap Land diva than to find herself, in all her finery, behind bars with a bunch of cackling hookers laughing and jeering at her? Whereas last season's KNOTS ended with Gary enduring his jail time with silent stoicism, this season’s DYNASTY ends with Alexis grabbing her cell bars and screaming, “Get me out of here!”

The Colby wedding takes up a lot of screen time but, by Soap Land’s standards, is surprisingly uneventful — nobody gets shot, kidnapped or jilted, or even walks out of the ceremony. It’s only after the happy couple has driven away on their honeymoon that Miles is arrested for murder.

 

[Willie Oleson]

everything about it was more significant: the murder, the victim

And it would have been more shocking if Mark hadn't died two episodes earlier. It happened shortly before she went to the party at La Mirage, it could have happened shortly before she went to the wedding.

Even though the arrest of Miles Colby felt very much like an afterthought and failed to be eventful in its own right I still think it feels more like a double whammy.
He had to endure watching the love of his life and Jeff the family "intruder" drive off into the sunset and on top of that he got arrested.

I guess it was also a double whammy for Alexis because of Fallon's disappearance, but I've never been able to buy into Alexis' mother-children relationship, which isn't a bad thing at all because it only confirmed her narcissistic personality (as if we didn't already know that).
The Carrington kids was Blake's department - at least one thing from season 1 that never changed - and come to think it, doesn't it apply to all the SoapLand patriarchs?
It was nice to know how Miss Ellie felt about her children but the meaty stuff was always about how they related/didn't relate to Jock. Allison MacKenzie's existence seemed to be defined by a stranger in a framed photograph, and while the Sable-Miles relationship was one of the main subjects that drove the story it was Jason's actions that had the greatest emotional impact on Miles.

Furthermore, Maxwell Caulfield was always very entertaining when he played Miles with a bewildered or maniacal expression on his face.
The arrest of Alexis was campier, the arrest of Miles was funnier - and considering the context, also sadistically funny.
And while it's true that the viewer doesn't care about William Mahoney, the idea that it may have been Zach Powers who tried to frame the Colby brothers feels soapy-bigger than being framed by Neal McVane who had already attacked Alexis in season 3.
Nevertheless, there was something much more sinister and creepier about McVane's shenanigans, and Alexis' arrest deserves extra points for getting handcuffed inside Blake Carrington's holy library.

THE COLBYS - 4
DYNASTY - 3

 

[Willie Oleson]

5. Fortune Tellers

DYNASTY 20-1-1982: Adriana


THE COLBYS 27-3-1986: Odessa

 

[Richard Channing]

Dynasty/Adriana gets my vote. Overacting at it's very best.