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Dallas TNT - "Forgiveness"
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<blockquote data-quote="Kenny Coyote" data-source="post: 216044" data-attributes="member: 102"><p>(I just started reading this today and the above section is where I left off for now)</p><p></p><p>Hey Karin, I like your style of writing! It's more like a novel than a script which for me, works better for fan fiction that a scriptwriting style. You go into detail on what the characters are thinking, like a novel would and I enjoy that.</p><p></p><p>You made some brave choices! Especially bringing Pam back. I like John Ross and Pamela getting back together, and also that JR had a daughter with Katherine. I was hoping it would be Mandy that had JR's daughter but this is good too.</p><p></p><p>If I have a criticism, it's that Pam seems more concerned about Cliff than Bobby and more loyal to Cliff than Bobby. Why? Cliff was her brother and Pam can't help that she's related to him, but it's certainly not a choice and Cliff was awful to Pam. He repeatedly tried to ruin her marriage to Bobby, he let Pam take the heat for the missing Red File when Cliff knew Julie Gray had it and could've exonerated Pam. Then when Pam went to help Cliff, propping up his company, Cliff lied to Pam about the 13 million dollars she loaned him for the deal with Jordan Lee. Then Cliff lost his share of Wentworth Tool and Die to Wendell, who charged Pam the original 6 million plus an extra 4 million dollars. It just goes on and on with Cliff treating Pam like crap.</p><p></p><p>Bobby treated Pam like gold. He saved her from jumping off the roof of a building. He was willing to steal what he thought was his own brother's baby just to make Pam happy! Then she was happy once she and Bobby had Christopher. After Pam abandoned Bobby and Christopher, Bobby raised Christopher all by himself, since Pam couldn't or wouldn't do her share. Bobby did both their jobs as parents by himself. Pam always considered Bobby the one true love of her life.</p><p></p><p>But Pam is more loyal to Cliff? I don't get it.</p><p></p><p>That's my only question about everything I've read so far. Overall, I think you've done an excellent job!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kenny Coyote, post: 216044, member: 102"] (I just started reading this today and the above section is where I left off for now) Hey Karin, I like your style of writing! It's more like a novel than a script which for me, works better for fan fiction that a scriptwriting style. You go into detail on what the characters are thinking, like a novel would and I enjoy that. You made some brave choices! Especially bringing Pam back. I like John Ross and Pamela getting back together, and also that JR had a daughter with Katherine. I was hoping it would be Mandy that had JR's daughter but this is good too. If I have a criticism, it's that Pam seems more concerned about Cliff than Bobby and more loyal to Cliff than Bobby. Why? Cliff was her brother and Pam can't help that she's related to him, but it's certainly not a choice and Cliff was awful to Pam. He repeatedly tried to ruin her marriage to Bobby, he let Pam take the heat for the missing Red File when Cliff knew Julie Gray had it and could've exonerated Pam. Then when Pam went to help Cliff, propping up his company, Cliff lied to Pam about the 13 million dollars she loaned him for the deal with Jordan Lee. Then Cliff lost his share of Wentworth Tool and Die to Wendell, who charged Pam the original 6 million plus an extra 4 million dollars. It just goes on and on with Cliff treating Pam like crap. Bobby treated Pam like gold. He saved her from jumping off the roof of a building. He was willing to steal what he thought was his own brother's baby just to make Pam happy! Then she was happy once she and Bobby had Christopher. After Pam abandoned Bobby and Christopher, Bobby raised Christopher all by himself, since Pam couldn't or wouldn't do her share. Bobby did both their jobs as parents by himself. Pam always considered Bobby the one true love of her life. But Pam is more loyal to Cliff? I don't get it. That's my only question about everything I've read so far. Overall, I think you've done an excellent job! [/QUOTE]
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Dallas TNT - "Forgiveness"
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