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Message: <blockquote data-quote="James from London" data-source="post: 147768" data-attributes="member: 22">22 Mar 89: DYNASTY: Grimes and Punishment v. 23 Mar 89: KNOTS LANDING: Birds Do It, Bees Do It Last week they were KNOTS LANDING super sleuths, cracking the most fiendishly difficult criminal case in Soap Land history: “Jill murdered herself!” This week, Mack and Karen revert to their default role as TV’s Every Couple. After hearing Michael read aloud the results of an Ann Landers survey claiming that 82% of Americans believe that sex goes downhill after marriage, they spend the rest of the episode anxiously trying to prove they’re part of the remaining 18% — only they keep getting interrupted. First, Karen surprises Mack by showing up at his office in a raincoat and very little else. In so doing, she is following in the f*ck me pumps of DYNASTY’s Virginia Methany and Joanna Sills, each of whom recently turned up at Dex’s front door similarly attired. Whereas both of those encounters ended in anger and recrimination, this one concludes in embarrassment as a couple of Mack’s elderly clients walk in in time to see Karen parading in all her Valentine Lingerie glory. Even after all these years, the sight of Mack hastily bundling his semi-naked wife out the door still makes me laugh.Next, it’s Mack’s turn to create a seductive atmosphere — dim lights, soft music, pizza with anchovies. But this also goes for nought as Karen arrives home too preoccupied to register either the candles or ‘Fever’ playing on the music centre. “You will not believe what happened,” she rants at Mack. “Abby got appointed to the board … I thought that woman was out of my life forever and suddenly she’s sitting right next to me smiling … like the Cheshire Cat with eyeshadow!” There’s a kind of reverse situation on DYNASTY where Alexis is so delighted to have got one up on her female adversary that she fails to notice the dark mood Dex is in. “Alexis, we need to talk,” he tells her. “Darling, we are talking!” she insists. “I just had a fantastic victory over my arch enemy! Aren’t you happy for me?”It’s a strong week for female feuds. ON KNOTS, Abby and Karen find they are both up for a seat on the same conservationist committee. While they are waiting to be called in for their respective interviews, Abby “accidentally” spills coffee on Karen’s lap. Alexis goes to even greater lengths to sabotage Sable. “You remember those tankers that you stole from me? Well, they’re sleeping at the bottom of the ocean with the fishes,” she informs her. Greg Sumner continues the aquatic wordplay, crowning Abby “the Queen of the Fishies and the Trees” after she, along with Karen, is appointed to the environmental board. “Mother here won’t be able to wear her furs anymore,” he points out. “Nobody wants to hear how many furs it takes to keep Mother warm.” So does this spell an official end to fur coats in Soap Land? We shall see.“The world can get along very well without whatever oil may be found at Lotus Point,” Karen insists when the conservation committee meet to discuss Murakame's application for a drilling permit. Abby smilingly dismisses this as “a knee-jerk response”,  expertly twisting Karen's words and winding her up into a self-righteous fervour. While Abby retains the upper hand over her rival, the victorious smile is wiped off Alexis’s face when she realises Dex bedded Sable in her absence: “Oh no, you couldn’t. You wouldn’t do something like that to me … If there were two things in the world I could be sure of it’s that the sun would shine in the East and that you loved me enough to stay away from that viper … I never want to see you again.” Joan Collins acts her head off in this scene, but more poignant is Michael Fairgate’s silent reaction when he sees his crush Ellen and best pal Johnny sneaking off to her room together.The Ann Landers sex survey is a running theme throughout this week’s KNOTS — Paige provocatively places a copy of it on Greg’s desk, Julie Williams worries that it applies to her parents, Aunt Ginny uses it as an excuse to do some matchmaking between Val and Gary. “Your Uncle Freeman and I had fabulous sex until the day he died,” she informs her niece. If Ginny seems unexpectedly forthcoming, it’s nothing compared with Monica’s trip down memory lane on DYNASTY. “When we were kids, you used to spy on me in the bath,” she says to Jeff — as in her brother Jeff. “How do you know that?” he asks. “Because I left the door open,” she replies flirtatiously. Neither seems at all perturbed by this exchange. Heck, Jeff doesn’t even bat an eyelid when Monica accuses him of “looking down my blouse all evening.” Whatever’s going on here, it’s a long way from DYNASTY’s last incest-themed story in which lovers Clay Fallmont and Leslie Carrington were left irrevocably traumatised by the possibility that they might be related.Towards the end of their respective eps, Sable and Abby both find themselves on the receiving end of some persistent questioning from the new men in their lives. “Why is Sable Colby devoting her entire life to a vendetta against Alexis Colby?” asks Dex. “You have moved to Denver, schemed, manipulated, deceived, done anything you could to ruin Alexis Colby ... what the hell did she do to make you hate her so much?” “What’s going on with Murakame?” asks Ted Melcher. “Why do the legwork for a company that bought you out and stands to gain millions as a result? … You do things for a reason. What’s in it for you?” While Abby comes clean, admitting to Ted that she is Murakame, Sable keeps her secret: “That woman knows just what she did and why I am going to make her life a living hell!”With the Jill Bennett storyline dead and buried (she doesn’t get so much as a mention this week), this instalment of KNOTS has an almost celebratory vibe to it — there’s even a bespoke jazz score courtesy of Seaview Circle’s very own Frank Williams, while the ep itself is directed by a former occupant of Frank’s house, Richard Avery. This may not be a milestone episode of KL like last week’s DALLAS or next week’s FALCON CREST, but it sort of feels like it should be.Like last week’s DALLAS, KNOTS includes a pivotal elevator scene, set this time at the Sumner Group, in which we are introduced to two more employees of the company. While the taller of the two is bragging loudly about a sexual conquest in one of the executive suites, the smaller one listens in awe. (“Why don’t I know about this corporate suite?” he asks. “You’re a junior vice-president. I’m a senior vice-president,” his pal replies smugly, neatly summing up their relationship.) Paige is also in the elevator and overhears their conversation. Tipped off to the existence of Sumner Group rental properties, she swipes herself an apartment — the pink-walled condo that, just like Mort and Bob's double act and the Sumner Group itself, will remain a fixture of KNOTS for the rest of the series. (While the other soaps seem to be shrinking, the world of KNOTS is quietly and steadily expanding.) Best of all, this leads to a cameo from the brilliant Vincent Schiavelli as Paige’s new landlord. Of his two short scenes, the first is a phone conversation in which he somehow makes a factual description of the apartment in question laugh out loud funny. In the second, he carries a small chihuahua in his arms. This serves no narrative purpose but adds a perfect touch to his character.One more KL "Easter egg": the matching "his n’ hers" Mayan bowls Paige brought back from Mexico for herself and Greg at the beginning of the season make a discreet reappearance this week. While Paige is making a late-night, erotically-charged call to Greg in the penultimate scene of the ep, one of the bowls can be seen on the mantlepiece of her new pad, The other, meanwhile, is visible on Greg’s bedside table.There’s not much between them, but this week’s Top 2 are …1 (2) KNOTS LANDING2 (4) DYNASTY</blockquote>

Verification: What month follows July?