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Message: <blockquote data-quote="James from London" data-source="post: 299839" data-attributes="member: 22">1962Gary to Lucy: When you were a little baby, I used to dance with you every night. Of course, it’s a little hard to dance to ‘Rock-A-Bye Baby’.Lilimae, speaking in 1985: Joshua, you were so colic-y and stubborn, always wanting your own way.Lilimae: You won’t remember this, Joshua, you were just a baby, but I had an Aunt Rhonick who died and I had to go there for a few days. It was the first time I left you since you were born and when I came home, your daddy had you on his shoulders standing in the old union station and when you saw me step off the train, you started to shout, “She’s back! She’s back!” Lilimae on Joshua: His father was always a little edgy after a good sermon.Lilimae: Jonathan J told everybody we were married. For a year after Joshua was born, I stayed with him and protected his lie. He kept after me, telling me how much he loved me and begging me. Finally I said yes. Lilimae: It was a difficult time for us. Jonathan’s congregation was small and very poor. The two of us were trying to hold it together as best we could. Joshua was just an infant. He needed most of my attention, but Jonathan kept giving me more and more to do. Jonathan to Joshua: Your mother used to sing. She started a sort of a choir.Lilimae: I’m afraid I was awful.Jonathan: Yes, she was.Lilimae: I was in charge of the choir, of course. They were a sorry bunch. Some were half hungry. It’s amazing they had the strength to sing at all, but they wanted to please Jonathan as much as I did and we rehearsed and rehearsed for this big Easter Sunday gathering Jonathan had planned. Well, that choir sang their hearts out for Jonathan. Somehow it all came together and the sound was so beautiful. To this day, I know it was. We finished the programme. Jonathan just sat there, silent for the longest time and then he got up and left without a word. It wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough. I never forgave him for that, for the way he made those people feel that day, for the way he made me feel. I could never live up to his expectations. He always wanted more of me than I could give, more than anyone could give. I couldn’t live with that, that constant disappointment with everything I touched, even for Joshua’s sake.Lilimae: I never wanted your pity. I wanted your love.Jonathan: I gave you everything.Lilimae: No you didn’t. You shut me out. I loved you, Jonathan. I never loved any man as much as you.Lilimae: Then Teddy Keener passed through and asked me to join his act. I didn’t even have the courage to tell Jonathan J to his face. I left him a note and I never saw either of them again.Joshua: Mama died just after I was born so it’s been just Papa and me. Lilimae to Joshua: Your mother didn’t die when you were a baby. She knew she’d make you and your father miserable if she stayed. She knew she couldn’t live the kind of life your father wanted. She couldn’t be the kind of person he wanted her to be. She tried, but she just couldn’t make it work. She knew you’d be better off with him so she left, but she never stopped loving you. It was the most painful thing she ever did. She suffered for it. She never stopped suffering. Jonathan: You left me. You left your son.Lilimae: I didn’t want to.Joshua: She had her reasons.Jonathan: They weren’t reasons.Lilimae: In those days, my ambition and my need for excitement were more important than anything else or anyone else. I was convinced I could do it all, especially if I weren’t tied down. Jonathan to Joshua: She abandoned you, she abandoned me. What she did was unforgivable. Lilimae to Joshua: Your mother was vicious and wicked. She was just a tramp, selfish and spiteful. Thought of nothing but herself. Wanted to be this big singing star. Nothing else mattered, not her family, not her husband. She deserved everything she got. And you weren’t the first. There were others she abandoned too.Val to Lilimae: Where were you all those years? Do you think I like having a mother who goes around from man to man without one ounce of consideration for those she leaves behind? How do you think I feel having a mother who’s a tramp?Val on her and Joshua: Brothers and sisters shouldn’t grow up alone. Maybe we’d both be better people if …Lilimae: I lost my children and the only man I really loved. I worried about my children. Even if I couldn’t be with them, I worried about them. I wondered, “What would they become? Would they be safe? Would they be happy?” I was always hoping for something that would ease the worry.Lilimae: My dreams led me far away and they led me into trouble.JR to Gary: You've always been susceptible to pressures from other people.Val to Gary: You’d say one thing and end up doing another. You’re the most undependable person that I’ve ever known.JR on Gary: He was scared of I don’t know what. Always running away. Every time there’s any pressure, any time there’s any responsibility: out the door.Lucy on Gary: He just came and went.Gary to Lucy: I ran away from you and your mama a lot.Lucy on Gary: Disappeared for weeks and months, came back again and started hitting my mom.Val: I have seen you in a blind rage. I’ve seen you laugh and cry in the same breath. I’ve seen you stumble and fall and kick down doors and throw things. Gary, I have seen you hurt yourself for many years, but I have never ever seen you hurt someone else.Cathy Geary: Where did you get that scar on your chin?Gary: Fell through a shower door when I was drunk.Gary: Daddy never trusted me. He liked Val. He used to call her my anchor. Jock on Gary: I tried to teach him to stand up and fight. It broke my heart when I found out he didn’t have any guts.Bobby to Gary: I can remember Daddy and Mama sparring with words. I was just a kid when you left, but I can still remember them talking about you. Daddy would say that you didn’t have the Ewing guts and Mama would say, “Well, thank goodness for that,” because she thought you had Southworth gallantry and that was a much better thing to have. Mama thought guts were low-grade courage, and gallantry was courage with grace.Jock: I don't think I've been a very good father. Miss Ellie: Yes, you have.Jock: Gary pulling out, a drifter.Jock on Miss Ellie: She held me responsible for running Gary off.Miss Ellie: The Ewing men are strong — Jock, JR, Bobby. Lucy’s father, he wasn’t strong, couldn’t compete. That’s why he left.JR on Gary: He did not leave. He flat ran out.Gary: I was weak, and I let my father and my brother drive me away, and I ran.Val: We would have gone with you.Gary: To do what? To go where? I was a drunk and a gambler and a loser. I know it’s no excuse, but when I left here, I didn’t think they’d make you leave too. I thought I’d be back.Bobby: My brother Gary left, I didn’t have anyone to talk to.Val to Gary: As soon as you left, JR got rid of me.JR on Val: I told that girl never to set foot in Texas again. Val: I snuck back for Lucy and took her. Lucy: When JR found out, he called some nice old boys in Dallas.Val: JR sent some mean old boys after me to get Lucy back. And they followed me all the way to Tennessee.Val on Lilimae: I went to her with our baby in my arms and she turned me away.Lilimae to Val: I let you down that night you came running to me with Lucy and begged me to take you in and I had more selfish things on my mind. [That was] the worst mistake I ever made.Valene: It was me and my baby, and you turned us away.Lilimae: How could I have let you in? If my manager had found out I was a grandmother, it would have been over.Valene: What would have been over — your wonderful career? When did that ever get started?Lilimae: It could have been my big break. It almost was.Valene: I told you that I was in trouble, Mama. Those old boys were after me, and when you wouldn’t let me in, they caught me and they took my baby. They took her back to Texas, to Gary’s folks. So I went back after her, and when I got back to Texas, those old boys wouldn’t let me near the ranch.Lucy on Val: They told her that if she ever came near Texas again, they’d kill her. Val: Scared me half to death. They weren’t fooling. I believe they’d have killed me soon as look at me. Lucy on Val: One time, I even heard she went to the law to get me back. Valene: I went to the sheriff’s office. Lucy: Didn’t amount to anything though. Gary: The law was pretty tight with my family.JR, speaking about him and Dallas Police Captain Fogarty in 1984: We go back a number of years.Val: I can’t tell you what that was like, knowing anything at all could be done to me, and there wasn’t nothing the police would do about it because there wasn’t any difference between those old boys and the police.Val: What did I have? Nothing.Val on Lucy: I didn’t see her again for fifteen years.Lilimae: Val had a baby and that baby was taken away from her. My girl never got to raise her and there's been a big emptiness in her, a need that never was fulfilled.JR, speaking about Lucy in 1981: She hasn’t got a lot of mothering from you, darlin’.Val: How could she have? You wouldn’t allow it. You’re the reason why we we’re not together, all of us, like we ought to be.JR: I would not want to be held responsible for keeping you from your loved ones.Val: Oh no, of course not. That’s all you’ve ever done. That’s all you have ever done to me.Lucy: It was JR who done it all. JR: Guilt has never been one of my strong emotions.Karen: I’ve always believed that anyone could make amends.Val: At least I knew Miss Ellie would raise Lucy right.Miss Ellie to Val: I raised [Lucy] because the Ewings made it impossible for you to raise her but I shouldn’t have. I should have fought them but I didn’t.Miss Ellie: Do you remember how I used to sit over there in that chair for hours, trying to feed Lucy? I was just so happy to have her here. What a beautiful child she was.Bobby: I just remember she was awful stubborn, that’s all.Jock: Which side of the family do you think Lucy takes after? Miss Ellie: A little of both I guess, but leaning towards the Ewings.Jock: Well, that ain’t all bad, is it?Mickey Trotter, Lil’s son: The only one that ever called me Michael is Ma.Ray to Mickey: You, me, your ma — we’re all out of the same stock. We’re just as good as anyone.Kate Whittaker, Claudia’s daughter: What was my mom like when she was young? Greg: Young? She was never young. She was always middle-aged. Kate: Come on — really.Greg: You mean did she stay out late, drink beer and make out in the back of ’57 Chevys? No.Kate: But she did date, right?Greg: Well there was one guy, but he always wore a brown paper bag over his head so we never knew who he was. I don’t think dating was her style.Kate: Why don’t you think? Greg: She just thought that high school men, college men were too immature for her.Frank Williams: A few dates can get serious after a while. I know that much from high school.Claudia: I knew Anne Matheson in the old days. Anne on Claudia: She has always resented me. Is it my fault that I had money when were growing up and she didn’t?Claudia to Anne: You haven’t had an idea since you were twelve.Claudia: When I was very young, I got into trouble.Kate: What kind of trouble?Claudia: It’s a euphemism we used to use to refer to unwed mothers. I was very young. I got pregnant.Anne: When Claudia and I were younger, she had the most beautiful opal ring. It was a Coober Pedy opal and she would never tell me who gave it to her, but one day I saw her with a man. Greg, meeting Steve Brewer, Claudia’s illegitimate son, in 1991: You remind me of Jimmy Stewart but I don’t think my sister ever met Jimmy Stewart.Anne: Nobody liked Paul Galveston except Greg’s mother. She only saw the charming, dashing side of him and I’m sure that his money didn’t hurt, but everyone else just hated his stinking cigars and his mean sense of humour. That man would have insulted Sister Teresa if he’d gotten the chance, and then he would have come on to her. He did come on to me but I, contrary to some people’s opinions, have my standards. The real question is why on earth would Claudia have an affair with him — her own mother’s lover? Claudia: Look, Greg, I don’t know if I was angry at Mother for giving you all the attention or simply swept off my feet by a charismatic rich older man, probably a little bit of both, but I didn’t know what an ogre Paul Galveston was until I was already pregnant. Greg on Claudia: When a person runs around all her life trying to be right, when she does something wrong, she goes nuts. And getting pregnant by Paul Galveston was definitely wrong. Greg to Steve: You’ve been sired by one of the great son of a bitches of our time.Greg: I would have believed Jimmy Stewart.Greg on Claudia’s pregnancy: Did the old lady know about this? Claudia: How much help do you think she would have been?Greg: You should have come to me.Claudia, speaking to Greg in 1991: I was too scared and too ashamed to tell anybody for reasons which I’m sure are obvious to you now.Greg on Claudia: She went off to California. Claudia, visiting Kate’s apartment in 1991: It’s such an interesting neighbourhood, reminds me of where I started out. There was this little bookstore around the corner. We all used to gather there.JR, speaking in 1982: Been years since I read a book all the way through.Ben Gibson: When I was in high school, I heard a bunch of people talking about me one day and they called me S.O.B. I liked it. I thought it gave me a change of image, sort of rakish, unpredictable — the kind of guy that girls would eat their hearts out over. Then a couple of days later, a friend of mine used it again and he told me what it meant: “It wasn’t what you thought at all. It was Solid Old Ben.”Ben: My father had a nervous breakdown while I was in high school. At least that’s what they called it. All I know is that one day he piled all of our furniture in the living room and tried to set it on fire. I was the one who found him. Sounds kind of funny now, but it wasn’t very funny then. He was my father and I couldn’t believe I was seeing him like that. For the next year or so, he was in a mental hospital and I didn’t go see him for a long time because I was ashamed and because I was afraid of what I might see. He got better.Pam: I didn’t have much of a home when I was little.Bobby: Pam was raised by her Aunt Maggie, along with her brother Cliff and Digger, Digger Barnes.Maggie on Digger: He put you through a lot.Pam: Thank goodness he had you to take care of him.Pam: You raised me and Cliff and [Maggie’s son] Jimmy, and cared for Digger, all in this one little house. I think it’s remarkable.Maggie: I enjoyed it, most of it.Mandy Winger: Cliff’s told me all about how you practically raised him and Pam.Maggie: Well, I did my best.Mandy: As far as I’m concerned, your best was pretty good.Cliff to Pam: Mama abandoned us, poor Digger was a drunk that left us to grow up with Aunt Maggie and all of our lives all we ever had was each other. You’re my sister and it’s always been you and me against the world. Cliff on him and Pam: When we were being raised by our aunt, we were so close together. We just did everything together. Cliff on him and Pam: We were two tough kids growing up. We had to be.Cliff: Pam, she always was the strong one. Pam: I’ve lived through hurricanes.Cliff on Pam: She has never let me down.Pam on Cliff: I know how important he’s always been to me. When we were growing up, we were poor kids on the wrong side of the tracks and Cliff was always my hero. He always found time to take care of me, to watch out for me.Pam to Cliff: When we were growing up, I thought you were the most wonderful thing that ever happened. Cliff to Pam: Digger wasn’t your actual father, but he raised you and loved you just like you loved him. You remember how they used to treat him — like he was a nobody?Barfly, speaking to his friends in 1987: Digger Barnes was full of crap.Cliff: That man had more brains in the seat of his pants than all three of you have in your heads.Cliff on Digger: A shadow of a brilliant man who I grew up adoring.Mr Wicker, lawyer: Your daddy must have been a real gentleman to have a son like you.Cliff: He was.Harris Ryland: I hope you don’t mind me saying so, Cliff, but your twenty-twenty hindsight on Digger Barnes might be a bit romanticised.Pam: No-one’s ever accused Cliff of being a romantic.Jock to Pam: Young lady, you’ve heard [Digger’s side] your whole life.Pam to Cliff: I was raised to hate the Ewings just as much as you were.Pam: After everything Digger had told me about the Ewings, I thought they were a family of monsters. Mitch Cooper: All my life, I grew up believing people like the Ewings were the enemy.Jamie: My whole life, I always thought it was Jock who was the bad guy.Pam: I was always so sure that the Ewings were the bad guys. They're the ones who'd do anything to anyone.Bobby: And the Barneses were the poor but honest good guys?Pam: Yeah.Cliff to Pam: You used to be worse than I was, breaking up windows in the Ewing building down town. You used to plot revenge.Judith Ryland: I’ve never been one to dwell on wrongs done to me.Jenna: It made you really happy when I pushed Dotty Maypack into the pool because you asked her to the movies.Bobby: I was only twelve years old at the time.Pete Adams on Jason: His wife died in 1962 when the kids were still small.Jamie on her mother: I don’t remember her much. She died when I was five.Jack on his mother: I remember a lot about her even though I was young when she died. Angelica Nero on Nancy’s death: Dimitri was heartbroken even then. Jason left Montana with the children and Dimitri lost track of them.Donna to Jamie: So it was your daddy Jason, your brother Jack and you.Pete Adams on Jason: That’s when he started hitting the bottle in earnest.Karen, speaking to Sid to 1980: [It's] eighteen years after your divorce.John Ross, speaking in 2012: I sank a test well in Section 18 [on Southfork], on that stretch of land that everyone’s ignored for fifty years.</blockquote>

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