Willy Wonka has an Affair with Sue Ellen

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J.R., Al Winger, Wonka and Santa are on a road trip together when Christie Brinkley drives up next to them

After Wonka takes over and takes on Santa as a partner the two do a Dallas version of this

 

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I like the idea of Chevy Chase as Gary. Perhaps Al Winger turns out to become the fraternal twin of Gary that was stolen at birth. It turns out J.R. slept with his little half sister and Al married his cousin

 

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The next thing is William Shatner appears as Captain Kirk. He got lost in a time warp alike he did in Star Trek 4 The Voyage home. He hooks up with Sue Ellen and takes the Ewings, Al Winger, Wonka, Santa, the Oompa Loompas, Little Munchkins and the elves on a trip aboard the Enterprise. They enter a wormhole and wind up in the galaxy furthest from from the Milky Way

Next J.R. goes off on Kirk for getting them stranded on the edge of the universe. The Millenium Falcon appears and hails the Enterprise. Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Princess appear on the screen. It turns out they are above Tatooine. They fly there and realize there is oil gushing from the sand there. J.R. is not upset anymore and feels that life on Tatooine might work out. He has drinks with the guys at the cantina. The name of the program turns to Mos Eisley

Another thing is Jabba's sister Flabba goes after the men. Wonka tries to learn how to use a lightsaber and slices off his little willy. Princess Leia officiates the wedding of Captain Kirk and Sue Ellen

 

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After a time the Ewings and Captain Kirk make an attempt to go back without Wonka or Santa's people. Wonka and Santa steal Dash Rendar's ship the Outrider and follow in angered pursuit. They demand onboard and force them to surrender the Enterprise. Captain Kirk turns on the self destruct and has all of them beam to Tatooine. The Oompa Loompas, Little Munchkins and Elves beam aboard. Wonka and Santa hear the countdown and scream for them to leave. The ship explodes and winds up crashing into the Mos Eisley cantina

After the Ewings watch the crash into Mos Eisley, Captain Kirk goes oh no not have I destroyed the Enterprise but I also destroyed our favorite hangout place. J.R. is angry and tells him he messed up their only chance to get to earth. Kirk goes at least I killed all the poison dwarves. J.R. looks at Lucy and tells Kirk you missed one

Another thing is that Gary, Val, Abby, Karen, Mack were on the Enterprise trip that was only supposed to be a three hour tour. They open an insane asylum called Nuts Landing in Mos Eisley and put Wonka and Santa there

 

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Another thing is Greg Sumner was with them. He and Donna run against each other for mayor of Mos Eisley

John Ross, Christopher and Pamela Rebecca skip high school on Tatooine one day. John Ross gets on a parade and does this with all humans and aliens

 

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Gary does an answer tune to Val'sYou Can Call Me Val called Call Me Valene in the Mos Eisley Cantina. Abby takes an interest in Al Winger and goes I did not luck out with Gary. I might luck out with his newfound twin

 

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Carmen San Diego appears in Mos Eisley and steals Miss Ellie's mother's jewelry from the docked Enterprise. The Ewings decide to find out where on Tatooine is Carmen San Diego

 

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The Ewings help orchestrate the first Thanksgiving on Tatooine. They help get the native Jawas to come over and offer a sign of peace to the humans and aliens they felt took over their lands. They all have a huge feast outside with Wompa meat as main course

 

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Who remembers this lol

 

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After sampling from the wine aisle at Mos Eisley grocery, Sue Ellen sees Peter Richard's as a clerk who does this with her then

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

After sampling from the wine aisle at Mos Eisley grocery, Sue Ellen sees Peter Richard's as a clerk who does this with her then

Real butter is much better for you than margarine.

 

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Pam: Why, Bobby, why did you have to make it important I get plastic surgery in Mos Eisley?