shaqattaq ranks Knots Landing

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shaqattaq32

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I will be ranking various subjects related to Knots Landing in this thread.

The first subject I will be ranking is poses from the season 9 opening credits. In case you forgot what that looked like (stop lying, you know exactly what it looks like and you've watched it a thousand times on replay) the link is here:

As a background, I LOVE the season 9 opening credits. I haven't always been able to admit that I love them, but after my most recent season 9 rewatch I can say that they're a guilty pleasure and they're just the bees' knees. They really encapsulate so well everything about that era of Knots Landing. They're sleek and sophisticated, yet dreadfully 80s. They're more than a little pretentious and not nearly as clever or intelligent as they think they are, but they contain just enough wink and irony to catapult them above anything else TV was offering at the time. They're soapy, glitzy, glamorous, and absolutely carried by the female cast who do the heavy lifting to make up for the lovable male cast shlubs who just don't quite understand how they're supposed to be posing and are just trying not to look stupid/embarrassed.

I'll start with ranking the WORST pose and I'll keep going until we get to the BEST pose.

#8. Kevin Dobson

We know from interviews that the cast did NOT like these opening credits, but most of them did a pretty good job of hiding that. Our dear Kevin (RIP) is the only one who you can tell is thinking, "WTF?!" because the WTF is written all over his face. He simply looks down and blinks, desperately waiting for this agonizing embarrassment to end as quickly as possible. Kevin is being a real trooper, but he obviously didn't get what they were going for here or, if he got it, couldn't hide expressing his opinion that it was really really really stupid.

POSH POSES RANKED SO FAR:

#8. Kevin Dobson

POSH POSES REMAINING TO BE RANKED:

William Devane
Julie Harris
Michele Lee
Constance McCashin
Donna Mills
Ted Shackelford
Joan Van Ark

I'll open the door to discussion of Kevin's pose... do you agree he deserved #8? Who do you think will be #7?
 
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shaqattaq32 said:
I will be ranking various subjects related to Knots Landing in this thread.

The first subject I will be ranking is poses from the season 9 opening credits. In case you forgot what that looked like (stop lying, you know exactly what it looks like and you've watched it a thousand times on replay) the link is here:

As a background, I LOVE the season 9 opening credits. I haven't always been able to admit that I love them, but after my most recent season 9 rewatch I can say that they're a guilty pleasure and they're just the bees' knees. They really encapsulate so well everything about that era of Knots Landing. They're sleek and sophisticated, yet dreadfully 80s. They're more than a little pretentious and not nearly as clever or intelligent as they think they are, but they contain just enough wink and irony to catapult them above anything else TV was offering at the time. They're soapy, glitzy, glamorous, and absolutely carried by the female cast who do the heavy lifting to make up for the lovable male cast shlubs who just don't quite understand how they're supposed to be posing and are just trying not to look stupid/embarrassed.

I'll start with ranking the WORST pose and I'll keep going until we get to the BEST pose.

#8. Kevin Dobson

We know from interviews that the cast did NOT like these opening credits, but most of them did a pretty good job of hiding that. Our dear Kevin (RIP) is the only one who you can tell is thinking, "WTF?!" because the WTF is written all over his face. He simply looks down and blinks, desperately waiting for this agonizing embarrassment to end as quickly as possible. Kevin is being a real trooper, but he obviously didn't get what they were going for here or, if he got it, couldn't hide expressing his opinion that it was really really really stupid.

POSH POSES RANKED SO FAR:

#8. Kevin Dobson

POSH POSES REMAINING TO BE RANKED:

William Devane
Julie Harris
Michele Lee
Constance McCashin
Donna Mills
Ted Shackelford
Joan Van Ark

I'll open the door to discussion of Kevin's pose... do you agree he deserved #8? Who do you think will be #7?
Click to expand...

Kevin was one of the worst poses, but IMHO Ted´s was even worse. You can imagine he is counting the dollars in his account at the end of the season while shooting it! I´d say Michele and Julie are the best, because they transmit something in their poses, and I mean what they should as their characters. Constance seems to be thinking "take this Maggie Gioberti pose and shove it, you Lorimar stinkers!". So maybe this is my favorite, lol...

1709845979595.png

"Actually I used clown makeup, but then they shot it in b/w..." (eye rolling)​
 
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shaqattaq32 said:
Our dear Kevin (RIP) is the only one who you can tell is thinking, "WTF?!" because the WTF is written all over his face.
Click to expand...
I think it's very authentic for a Knots actor to hang his head in shame in these worse-than-daytime opening credits.

Paintings were a theme in season 9, it would have been nice if they had presented the actors as painted images.
 
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"Rich Man, Poor Man, Book II" was the earliest precedent for "Dallas" thematically. Especially for TNT´s "Dallas" (cousins fighting each other).
 
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Toni said:
Kevin was one of the worst poses, but IMHO Ted´s was even worse. You can imagine he is counting the dollars in his account at the end of the season while shooting it!
Click to expand...

Yep, these two were clearly the worst, and it was a bit of a crap shoot choosing between them. Which brings me to...

#7. Ted Shackelford

What is with that dorky smile?! Soooo against the mood they were trying to create here. Why didn't they make him re-do it?!

I think what puts this above Kevin is that he starts out well, but he loses it when he moves his head up and he's smiling. Noooo, just no. There's no smiling allowed here; it's an ultraserious drama, dammit!

What's interesting is that I just re-watched seasons 1 and 2 recently and I honestly think that, had they shot these opening credits then, Ted would have nailed it. He definitely has a silent, sexy, smoldering quality to him in the early seasons. But he loses that quality around the time the Lotus Point years roll around. Don't get me wrong, he's still a terrific actor, but as he grew up he definitely transitioned from boyishly handsome to a more classically masculine/more paternal quality. And your average man is not going to know how to smize in the opening credits, so we end up with Ted looking like a total goober goofball. Oh well.

POSH POSES RANKED SO FAR:

#8. Kevin Dobson
#7. Ted Shackelford

POSH POSES REMAINING TO BE RANKED:

William Devane
Julie Harris
Michele Lee
Constance McCashin
Donna Mills
Joan Van Ark

Thoughts on the ranking thus far? Agree? Disagree? Thoughts on what #6 should be?

Are you ready yet to admit how much you love these cheesy, campy, overproduced, overdramatic opening credits yet?
 
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I think the "new" opening credits are nice too. Mack is the only one who doesn’t look straight at the camera, which is perhaps surprising considering he’s the most direct character on the show, but it makes a nice contrast with the face he's just followed (Greg, looking kind of stern) and the one that comes next (Lilimae, bright and open). He looks sort of peaceful, even serene. Again, arguably uncharacteristic, but then we’re all more than one thing. I like it.

IMG_0691.jpeg
 
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James from London

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Gary reminds me a bit of Sam the Eagle off of the Muppets here and that’s fine; I like Sam the Eagle. He looks smirky, but not smug - just kind of straightforward: what you see is what you get. He’s past all the game-playing and trying-to-look-mysterious stuff by this point. So I think it works fine.

IMG_0692.jpeg
 
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Miss Piggy wants to address the frequent rumors of a romance between her and Sam:

miss-piggy-the-muppets.gif


(Insert her maniacal laughter here...)​
 
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Thank you, James, for finding something positive to say about the first two poses! Of course, I love the actors, so I hope I didn't sound TOO negative about them. This ranking is all just in good fun.

Anyway, I like the six remaining poses to varying degrees, so this part of the ranking is going to be a little heartbreaking at times. And I have a feeling my next ranking is going to be controversial...

#6. Julie Harris

Ugh, I'm so sorry :( I absolutely ADORE Julie Harris (RIP) and Lilimae. What she brought to Knots Landing is something so impossibly rare. She was always such a bright spot in any scene she was in. Lilimae was the type of character with an almost childlike innocence, who could put a smile on your face anytime, who always warmed your heart with her hilarious antics and southern charm. And yet, there is something so tragic at the heart of Lilimae, something that makes her so vulnerable and lovable, even when she wasn't always the best mother. They really don't include characters like this on TV shows anymore. Everything is so paint by numbers on 21st century TV to move the plot along, and you don't get characters like Lilimae who really make you slow down and smell the roses and take in the whole ~experience~ of the show.

Julie is perhaps the best actor on Knots Landing. And there's nothing WRONG with this pose. She looks beautiful, warm, inviting... and she absolutely conveys in her short pose exactly what kind of character Lilimae is. But that's just the problem. The character Lilimae is.... clashes with these opening credits. The character Lilimae is.... seems like an anachronism against these sexy saxophone tones and this pretentious Sandy Dvore painting. There increasingly isn't a place for the Lilimaes of the world in what Knots Landing (and, let's face it... America itself) is becoming in 1987. And that's so darn tragic :(

POSH POSES RANKED SO FAR:

#8. Kevin Dobson
#7. Ted Shackelford
#6. Julie Harris

POSH POSES REMAINING TO BE RANKED:

William Devane
Michele Lee
Constance McCashin
Donna Mills
Joan Van Ark

What do you think? Does my (and the show's) heartless, brutal cutting of Lilimae bother you? What would you have had as #6? Predictions on #5?
 
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Toni

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shaqattaq32 said:
Thank you, James, for finding something positive to say about the first two poses! Of course, I love the actors, so I hope I didn't sound TOO negative about them. This ranking is all just in good fun.

Anyway, I like the six remaining poses to varying degrees, so this part of the ranking is going to be a little heartbreaking at times. And I have a feeling my next ranking is going to be controversial...

#6. Julie Harris

Ugh, I'm so sorry :( I absolutely ADORE Julie Harris (RIP) and Lilimae. What she brought to Knots Landing is something so impossibly rare. She was always such a bright spot in any scene she was in. Lilimae was the type of character with an almost childlike innocence, who could put a smile on your face anytime, who always warmed your heart with her hilarious antics and southern charm. And yet, there is something so tragic at the heart of Lilimae, something that makes her so vulnerable and lovable, even when she wasn't always the best mother. They really don't include characters like this on TV shows anymore. Everything is so paint by numbers on 21st century TV to move the plot along, and you don't get characters like Lilimae who really make you slow down and smell the roses and take in the whole ~experience~ of the show.

Julie is perhaps the best actor on Knots Landing. And there's nothing WRONG with this pose. She looks beautiful, warm, inviting... and she absolutely conveys in her short pose exactly what kind of character Lilimae is. But that's just the problem. The character Lilimae is.... clashes with these opening credits. The character Lilimae is.... seems like an anachronism against these sexy saxophone tones and this pretentious Sandy Dvore painting. There increasingly isn't a place for the Lilimaes of the world in what Knots Landing (and, let's face it... America itself) is becoming in 1987. And that's so darn tragic :(

POSH POSES RANKED SO FAR:

#8. Kevin Dobson
#7. Ted Shackelford
#6. Julie Harris

POSH POSES REMAINING TO BE RANKED:

William Devane
Michele Lee
Constance McCashin
Donna Mills
Joan Van Ark

What do you think? Does my (and the show's) heartless, brutal cutting of Lilimae bother you? What would you have had as #6? Predictions on #5?
Click to expand...

So it´s not Val´s time...yet? Really? :spinning: :spinning: :spinning: :danc: :danc: :danc: :danc: :NI:
 
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Damn I just wrote out my next one but I was on my phone and wasn’t logged in and lost it :( I hate it when that happens.
 
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shaqattaq32 said:
Damn I just wrote out my next one but I was on my phone and wasn’t logged in and lost it :( I hate it when that happens.
Click to expand...

What kind of coffee are you drinking lately? :NI:
 
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OK, I'm re-writing my #5 now. Probably won't be as good as the first one I wrote but I learned my lesson... I have to make sure I'm logged in here before I post something.

I'm very happy to see that I'm not the only one here on TellyTalk who is massively IN FAVOR of Valene's season 9 look. We've been waiting 37 years, y'all, but I have a feeling that THIS IS THE YEAR that hair cut is going to come back in style. I mean, it just has to eventually. Everything does, right? I mean, who would have thought the mullet would come back? Two years ago it was just 16 year olds; now I see their dads with the same haircut. So hold on, my friends! "The Valene" is going to be to 2024 what "The Rachel" was to 1994.

Now on with the ranking...

#5. William Devane

And so, the last of the male cast members is eliminated from the ranking. Of the 3 male regulars, William Devane was the only one who understood the assignment here. Is he wearing the same sweater he was wearing in "The Gift of Life"? There is something with that kind of effortless wardrobe that just screams "powerful/rich/mysterious" dude. And (not to be stereotypical, but it's just true) that is an archetype that women tend to love: as Lisa Simpson once described Nelson, "a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest." So it is no wonder that the largely female audience of Knots Landing adored Greg and he became somewhat of a sex symbol (and, as we learn in future episodes, the old man has enough juice to excite the young'uns) even when Mack and Gary are probably more conventionally handsome.

Greg's slight head turn doesn't convey glamour; it doesn't need to. He conveys sheer power. His facial expression is unreadable, his soul impenetrable. And it leaves you wanting more. William Devane himself was aware of this, as he stated to KnotsLanding.Net, "I was only in 20% of an episode and this was for two reasons: 1) The audience would be waiting to see when I would show up and 2) They would wonder, what (will) he do when he shows up?"

I'm probably forgetting details from the first time I wrote this. I'm sorry. I hope I conveyed why he is ranked above the bottom three.

But, let's face it, there was no way the four fabulous divas were ever going to be anything but the top 4. For me, there is a huge gap between the top 4 and the bottom 4, and it is going to be very difficult for me to decide which of the 4 to eliminate in 4th place (OK, I actually determined all the placements in the ranking like a week ago, but it's just better for drama if we pretend I'm coming up with the rankings as we go, so just go with me here.)

AHEM. Anyway, here is where we currently stand:

POSH POSES RANKED SO FAR:

#8. Kevin Dobson
#7. Ted Shackelford
#6. Julie Harris
#5. William Devane

POSH POSES REMAINING TO BE RANKED:

Michele Lee
Constance McCashin
Donna Mills
Joan Van Ark

Are you happy the four fabulous divas made the top 4? Which one do you think is getting cut in 4th place?
 
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And now we come to the part of the ranking that is really really difficult. We have 4 remaining poses, and they're all from ultrafabulous divas.

Dallas, Dynasty, Knots Landing, and Falcon Crest are truly a genre unto themselves. And even though primetime soaps were still a thing in the 1990s, they just weren't quite the same beast that the big four 1980s primetime soaps were. Honestly, it's a shame that they, by and large, haven't found a way to remain a part of the cultural zeitgeist. The Boomers and Gen X fondly remember them. A few nerdy outcast Millennials saw them when SoapNet rebroadcast them 20 years ago. And Gen Z and on will not know them. It's so tragic.

But I've gotten off topic. What I was trying to say is that 1980s primetime soaps lived or died based on how fabulous their divas were. And Knots Landing had some truly fabulous ones. But to make my point here, I need to go sideways and talk about Dynasty.

It was no surprise that Joan Collins was absolutely fabulous as Alexis Carrington. It was literally the role she was born to play, and nobody else could have played it like she could. What WAS a surprise was the way Linda Evans, a capable actress in her own right, absolutely came alive in a way we'd never seen before in her scenes with Joan Collins. We rooted for Krystle because the fact that she could hold her own with Alexis was absolutely shocking and unexpected based on what we knew about Krystle up until then. Linda and Joan did their best acting of the series with each other, and it's a shame the show didn't always exploit their chemistry as best it could after season 2.

So what I'm trying to say is, we EXPECT the villainous diva to be fabulous; when the heroine is fabulous, it's a great treat.

Which leads me to...

#4 Donna Mills

She looks amazing, her pose is perfection, and she comes in just as the music swells, stealing all of the melodramatic thunder. On most shows this would be an easy #1. But Knots Landing had a great depth of divas that other shows just didn't.

The eyes totally have it; is she squinting? No, she's not quite squinting. And is she smirking? No, she's not quite smirking. That's no less than a SMIZE 15 years before Tyra Banks coined the term.

She's Abby. She's sui generis. There's no other character quite like her on TV, before or since.

But like I said, we know she's fabulous. We know that Donna always looks amazing and knows how to showcase herself and find the perfect light and have the perfect makeup and the perfect look on her face that says so many things at once, that conveys that she's BAD but in a diff way than the other bad girls.

Beautifully done, Miss Mills... But the three above her had more difficult tasks being fabulous in their poses as heroines, and they succeeded.

POSH POSES RANKED SO FAR:

#8. Kevin Dobson
#7. Ted Shackelford
#6. Julie Harris
#5. William Devane
#4. Donna Mills

POSH POSES REMAINING TO BE RANKED:

Michele Lee
Constance McCashin
Joan Van Ark
 
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