Catweazle

[Hawkman]

In the grounds of King's Farthing Cedric and Catweazle approach the moat. These days unlike in 1066 when Catweazle jumped in, the moat is virtually dry, just a trickle of water. It is basically a deep ditch about 100 yards from the manor house.
Catweazle holds his wooden divining stick. This time he holds the other end of the stick to when he was looking for water. The stick vibrates.
C " ah...it is near"
Cd " you're picking up water from the moat"
C " nay, this end for wogle stones, other end for water "
Cd " those stones are wogle stones?"
C " one of them is"
Cd " which one?"
C " I know not"
Cd " keep down, you can be seen from the house "
C" bah!"
Cd " the whole idea is crazy, how can a stone stop anything "
Catweazle takes Touchwood out of the pocket of his brown robe and holds the toad on his palm.
C " come Touchwood "
Touchwood starts croaking ,
C " see , he feels its power"
The croaking gets louder as Catweazle nears a stone.
C " here it is"
The stone is a spherical grey stone, about two foot in diameter.
Cd " looks like any normal stone to me"
C (angry) " thou glass eyed Gaul fly can you not feel its power"
Cedric and Catweazle together lift up stone from moat bed, and then it drops, Catweazle jumps out the way as it thuds down on the earth.
Cd (smiles) "almost felt its power then didn't you"

 

[Hawkman]

At lunch at King's Farthing Charles and Dotty Collingford, Lord and Lady, are listening to Jack Victor, wearily.
JV " then I took over Amalgamated Construction "
LyC " was that predicted in the stars too"
JV " oh yes, and the cards too"
LyC " cards?"
Victor learns forward and accidentally knocks over a salt cellar.
JV " oh sorry "
LC " never mind, leave it"
JV " I'm sorry I have to do this"
Victor picks up a pinch of salt and flings it over his shoulder saying,
JV " one for silver, one for gold, and one for luck that's never told"

Back in the moat Cedric has got a wooden wheelbarrow.
Cd " it must weigh a ton, we'll never lift it"
C " believe in my powers Owlface "
The two stand either side of stone ready to lift it into wheelbarrow.
C " yan, tan, tethera"
They lift it and put it in barrow, and the bottom of the barrow falls out, crushed. But it's okay, the stone is wedged in the barrow, it can be moved. They set off to the building site.
Back at lunch Jack Victor is still droning on.
JV " at this moment Virgo is building 600 homes"
LyC " virgo?"
JV " Victor investment rehousing group organisation....v, i, r, g, o, ...Virgo for short "
LyC " but must you build here Mr Victor, surely there's other places "
JV " I can't ignore the omens. I don't understand you Lady Collingford, anyone would think you don't want to sell"
Charles and Dotty stare at each other, there's no getting through to this guy.

 

[Hawkman]

Cedric and Catweazle are heading towards the site, wheeling the huge stone , Touchwood riding on top of it .
Cd " I honestly don't know why we're doing this, what if the builders don't know about the wogle stone?"
C " then they will learn. No man may build......"
Cd " .....where stands the wogle, come on then "
Suddenly after hitting an uneven patch of ground the wheelbarrow topples over, the stone thuds into the ground.
C (alarmingly) " Touchwood where are thou?"
But the toad is okay, Catweazle scoops him up and strokes him.
C " my wondrous beast I thought I'd lost you"
Cd " I should never have listened to you in the first place. Let's forget the whole idea"
C " nay , thy faint hearted brisket .
Touchwood played by a ...er ..toad.


Jack Victor gets in his car Charles and Dotty see him off.
JV " think it over, 80,000 pounds is a lot of money and I've noticed your guttering, very dodgy, money'll be useful ,...I'll be back at 6"
The Rolls Royce leaves.
LyC " do you think he intends staying for dinner"
LC " I don't think I could stand it"
LyC " we better expect it, and if he doesn't it'll be such a lovely surprise "

 

[Hawkman]

Arriving at the building site, Cedric and Catweazle place the stone at the edge of the hole dug by the builders.
Cd " are you sure this is the right place?"
C " aye, it is where I fell, and see the monster,.....er..machine "
Cd " cheek , they must have been digging on our land for hours. What do we do now?"
Catweazle takes a piece of chalk from his robe and draws something on the stone.
C " now we wait"
Cd " what for, Mr Victor might not be back for hours "
C " someone comes I see them"
Cd (puzzled) " where I don't see anyone "
C ( points to own forehead ) " I see them here"
Victor turns up in his Rolls Royce.
Cd " you're right.....for once"
The two of them hide behind digger as Jack Victor beeps horn and his men come out of hut. Walter Richardson is the surveyor. Their attention is drawn to the huge stone perched on the edge of the pit. A spherical stone with two eyes drawn on it in chalk.
Tony Caunter is Walter Richardson


R " what the hell is it?"
Catweazle emerges from hiding place.
C " touch not the wogle stone "
R " the what!!?"
JV " the wogle stone, didn't you hear him"
R " I heard him alright, he's given us trouble before "
C " touch not the wogle stone "
R " what this thing?"
C " he that does touch the wogle stone shall all alone moan and groan"
JV " I don't like the sound of that"
C " thou must not move it"
Cedric behind the digger is trying not to laugh.
JV " it'll have to be moved sometime, there's going to be a supermarket built here"
C " no man can build where stands the wogle stone "
R ( shouts)" he's round the bend!!"
JV " I've never heard of a wogle stone have you?"
R ( shouts)" NO I BLOODY HAVEN'T and nor has anyone else, he's potty...now listen you old fool...."
JV " steady on Walter"
R ( shouts) "there's going to be a big estate here, and it will take more than that overgrown pebble to stop that "
JV " don't antagonize him, he might have the evil eye"
R " I'm worried about you Jack, why do you believe in all this nonsense"
JV " it's best to be on the safe side and it could be an omen "
R " omens, signs , this is supposed to be a building site NOT A BLOODY FAIRY RING"
JV " couldn't we just leave it for now?"
R " no we couldn't "
JV " I hope you're right"
Victor goes back to his car for sanctuary. Richardson calls over to the other men.
R " Dave, Billy , over here , lets move this "
Catweazle kneels in front of stone and closes his eyes.
Jack in his car gets a phone call
JV ( phone) " hello...WHAT!.......WHAT!!..( getting out of car).....don't touch that stone."
R " now what..?"
JV " we've just lost the Welsh contract because of that thing"
Catweazle stands and smiles,
C " ah...now you have seen the light"
R ( shouts) " GET LOST YOU"
JV " Walter I don't know what to do, I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown "
R ( to men) " get rid of that thing "
JV " touch that stone and you're fired"
Catweazle's divining stick suddenly vibrates,
C " ah...water....I have found hidden water..."
JV " he has too, he must be a water diviner, there must be an underground river "
R " don't be ridiculous "
JV " we can't build here, not over an underground river "
R " you're not taking that idiot's word for it?"
JV " I've worked with water diviners before, it's uncanny, they're never wrong"
R " look Jack who's the surveyor "
JV " you are , but he's a water diviner, he's found water, that's good enough for me. We are not building here"
Victor marches off, Catweazle triumphantly looks on, Cedric comes out of hiding grinning.

 

[Hawkman]

Outside King's Farthing Jack Victor is saying goodbye to the Collingfords.
LC " an underground river?"
JV " no doubt about it, according to my surveyor these water diviners really know their stuff"
LyC " water diviner , what did he look like?"
JV " funny old fella ,bit of a hermit if you ask me. But he was right, you can't build where there's a wogle stone, didn't know that did you "
LC " ..er.....no"
JV " take care of it.....the wogle stone "
The car drives off, Lord and Lady Collingford stand bemused.

Back at the site, the men are in their hut, Catweazle is using a pick axe digging deeper into the pit.
C " hidden water, I know it is here "
Suddenly a torrent of water spurts upwards, drenching Catweazle.
C ( gleefully) " I have found it, the hidden water...."
Cd" Catweazle you great idiot , you've burst a water main "
But Catweazle isn't listening, but running away joyfully.

Jack Victor is again having trouble with a black cat, this time on his way out of King's Farthing. His car motionless as he stares at cat.
JV " oh not again, go away....."
Catweazle turns up and picks up cat, and walks holding it up to Victor.
C " it will bring thee luck"
JV " just a blackberry cat eh.....listen I can't thank you enough for finding the river"
C " oh it was nothing "
Jack hands him his business card,
JV " next time you're in town, look me up"
Catweazle looks in wonderment at the card.

Back at Duck Halt, Cedric and Catweazle, and of course Touchwood the toad, are together.
C " I don't understand, why did he give you his card?"
C ( sighs) " thou art ox witted Owlface. See.."
The card has VIRGO printed on it, which Catweazle can't read ,but also a logo next to the letters, an artist's depiction of a young woman in a robe.
C " the sign of the maiden. Another sign, soon I will have them all......then I shall fly"
The End

 

[Angela Channing]

Why was Carrot dropped after the first season and Catweazle interacted with a completely different family in season 2?

 

[Hawkman]

Why was Carrot dropped after the first season and Catweazle interacted with a completely different family in season 2?

Pressure from The US. backers. They wanted Catweazle in or near a Stately home, royal connection, a big pull for U.S. viewers. Richard Carpenter didn't particularly like the idea, but as a young writer he had to go along with it.

 

[Angela Channing]

Pressure from The US. backers. They wanted Catweazle in or near a Stately home, royal connection, a big pull for U.S. viewers. Richard Carpenter didn't particularly like the idea, but as a young writer he had to go along with it.

I've forgotten most of the details of watching Catweazle but I remember at the time finding the move to a new house a bit jarring and I never fully got used to the changes. Interesting to see why the changes were made.

 

[Hawkman]

This is the full first episode on YouTube. Mostly YouTube block them but this version with what looks like Norwegian subtitles is okay.