The non-swearing sweary thread

[Spells & Karma]

Reading an article on why people swear led me to this funny and thought-provoking Radio 4 piece on which the article is based (which contains some fruity language, naturally). It's fun to hear about people's relationship to certain words.

My own relationship with swearing is very much like the one I have with singing. I do it quietly at home on a fairly regular basis. And even more so when I'm behind the wheel, which can be very cathartic. But I rarely take it beyond the confines of my property, even though I have no problem with less inhibited people doing it around me now and then.

The fact that most of my friends, family and colleagues never hear me swear gives me the advantage of surprise. I know if I ever chose to burst forth with some choice profanity it would make an impact. So maybe I'm saving it for just the right occasion.

Listening to the R4 show has made me wonder if it would be healthier for me to swear more frequently and with more volume.

As far as hearing others swear, well, the radio piece raised a double-standard of mine: I prefer to hear swearing coming from people who sound or seem well educated (I'm guilty of unconscious bias, I know). I also prefer others' swearing to be infrequent and creative (hearing three or four Fs per sentence gets so tedious). I feel both suggest deliberation rather than poor vocabulary. And they seem much juicier for it.

So with this in mind, how do you feel about swearing? Do you swear? Frequently or occasionally? And do you enjoy doing so?!

Or are you offended by bad language? Do you use cute little substitutes? Or actual words that are more polite?

 

[Rove]

Reminds of a situation when I began work at my current place. Sitting quietly in the tea-room reading my newspaper two elderly ladies (both close friends now) sat down and began to speak. Well, the language coming out of their mouths would make a sailor blush. Now before I continue I'm no prude but I was raised never EVER swear in the company of women. As I sat there absorbing the colorful dialogue one of them happened to catch my astonishment. She asked, "What's wrong?" I replied, "I wasn't expecting such language from two lovely ladies." I think my innocent remark changed their behavior as they rarely swore after this point.

Another occasion called for me to throw the Oxford Dictionary at my younger brother. Obviously spending far too much time with his mates he sat at my place one day and every second word was "f". When he asked what the dictionary was for I said your language skills shows lack of education and pure laziness. Start using some descriptive words to present your argument. That shut him up.

 

[Sarah]

Not offended by it in the slightest. I am more offended by people like that awful Chanelle on Big Brother referring to her genitals all the time. I hate women who get on like that - it's just disgusting. I saw a guy yesterday too making a 'wanking' sign at another guy - his friend! - who tooted at him as he passed in a car. I just hate cheap gestures like that. No need.

I also hate people using words that aren't correct English. I know we are all guilty of slang especially within our own countries, but the Northern Irish seem to have invented a word - scunnered - meaning embarrassed. (Belfast equivalent of this Ballymena 'word' is scundered). I want to shout THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD! Drives me insane.

 

[Daniel Avery]

The fact that most of my friends, family and colleagues never hear me swear gives me the advantage of surprise. I know if I ever chose to burst forth with some choice profanity it would make an impact. So maybe I'm saving it for just the right occasion.

That's me in a nutshell. If someone hears me utter anything that would get bleeped on TV, they know something is seriously wrong--and to duck. And no matter how old I get, I will never be able to say anything bleep-able in front of either of my parents, especially my mother. I'm from the South; that's just not done. The funny thing is that my mom can cuss a blue streak when she gets fired up, and I find it funny more than shocking.

I have never liked being around people who use the more hard-core swear words as an everyday part of conversation. One younger co-worker seemed to use the F word to punctuate everything he said, not just in anger. When I made a casual remark about how it bugged me to a supervisor, she (the supervisor) told me I ought to get used to it since that was "just how the kids today talk". I'd like to think professionalism is not dying out in the workplace, but it seems to be getting slapped around a bit.

 

[Werewillie Oleson]

I hardly swear anymore, and when I do it's the "softer" variant.
Maybe I've become more religious, no that's not it, more aware of my religion - but not consciously. I don't read the bible or anything like that.
Whenever I swear the hardcore swear I hear myself doing it, and it doesn't suit my personage.

Sometimes I find it funny to hear it coming from other people, it depends on the person, the voice etc.

But I say the word "whore" every day, both the English and Dutch version. It always makes me giggle.

 

[Emelee]

My country is quite liberated when it comes to swearing. Swedish swearing words are quite tame. Most are alternative names for the Devil or his home, such as Fan, Satan & Helvete. Those 3, plus Jävlar (which means da*n), are the Big Four.

Then we have even more tame swearing words like Sjutton (Seventeen), Tusan (Thousand), Sablar (something like Darn) & Skit (Shit).

Gender or sex related swearing words have not been as common here, but can be heard more often nowadays, such as Kuk (C*ck). More and more people have started to use F*ck (which in Swedish means nothing at all; they use it as a borrowed swear word from English).


How often do I swear?
I really don't know. Does it count when I say something like "This da*n thing is broken"?
I would guess that I swear between 0-5 times a day generally. Mostly to express either frustration or when I want to emphazise something (like "This dress is so da*n gorgeous".

I try not to swear in churches though. Just out of respect.

Swedes can swear at work in front of collaegues that they know quite well. I've heard my collaegues swear, and no one will react to that. Probably in front of our students as well (they are 16-19 years old). I've probably let out a swearing word sometime in front of students without even reflecting on it.


I have 3 favorite TV scenes (from comedies) where they swear a lot, just to share......

1. From a TV series for kids (!) in 1991. The father's car is frozen and he can't get the door open. So...... :lolo::lolo::lolo::lolo:

2. The swearing song - a song filled with profanity and insults directed at someone that you really really dislike! From a humor show called "Warning for children", 1976.

3. From a show called Vitsuellt - a taxi driver cannot get his car to start, so he begins cursing. His two passengers are priests... As they feel uncomfortable with all the swearing, they ask the driver to get God's attention instead of the Devil's. Can't get worse, he says, and says a prayer. And voila, the car starts. The priests are stunned and lets out a cursing word themselves.

I don't believe in banning cursing words for children, because then they will just appear more appealing. The forbidden fruit. But rather keep it to a minimum.

 

[Werewillie Oleson]

I try not to swear in churches though

You're not supposed to talk in churches. You only have to listen, and sometimes repeat what the pastor says. And that won't be any swearing, I'm sure of it.

 

[Emelee]

You're not supposed to talk in churches. You only have to listen, and sometimes repeat what the pastor says. And that won't be any swearing, I'm sure of it.

Not allowed to talk in churches? Wait, is that a rule for catholics only? Cause I speak in church all the time whenever I happen to be in one. Not during speeches though, of course. More like whispering in between speeches and readings and singing.
I've sung a whole lot in churches in my days. That's my favorite part. And reciting "Dear Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name....." (the Lord's Prayer, I think it's called in English). I can proudly say that I know it almost by heart! Not many Swedes do, even though it's the clearly most common prayer. Probably only the small percentage of church-goers know it by heart. -- How's that for an agnostic?

 

[Ome]

I'm not a big swear and I use the word 'Chuff' as a replacement for the f-word.


Yet, somehow, I seem to lose all sense of the word when I'm behind the wheel and someone (which happens all the time) messes up on the road, or they are simply hesitant because they are frightened to death with roundabouts. I tend to throw out the typical FFS reaction while raising my hand at the driver involved.

I've never used hand gestures and find that itself to be even more aggressive than using profanity.

 

[Daniel Avery]

I seem to lose all sense of the word when I'm behind the wheel

My go-to name for folks like that (yes, they're everywhere) comes from a memorable commercial that aired here over ten years ago:

So calling them a 'Dumas' (Doo-mahs) is a private joke that doubles for a replacement for the more colorful version.

 

[Spells & Karma]

This morning I was reminded of this thread when I came upon this article based on research about Brits' feelings towards - and usage of - a vast array of swear words, from the ones that make people gasp to silly made up swears like "smeg" and "pimhole" (and yes - people still managed to be offended by even these ).

Not only is it an interesting study, there's definite amusement value further down the page when the words are comprehensively listed out according how they fared in the various polls.

Tip: the word cloud is worth enlarging as it features a heap of creative curses not mentioned elsewhere, from the hardcore down to "bodgenobs" and "biscuits".

Spoiler alert: the one-syllable word based on lady bits is - of course - considered the most offensive, with women and men finding it twice as offensive as the closest insult based on male genitalia.

 

[Angela Chilling]

Spoiler alert: the one-syllable word based on lady bits is - of course - considered the most offensive, with women and men finding it twice as offensive as the closest insult based on male genitalia.

Have you noticed how the c-word has become completely normalised in film and television programs recently, particularly American productions? Even in gentle romcoms and comedies, it seems totally acceptable to drop the occasional (and sometimes frequent) c-word.

It doesn't seem that long ago when Mary Whitehouse was getting her knickers in a twist over the use of a single "bloody".

 

[Spells & Karma]

Have you noticed how the c-word has become completely normalised in film and television programs recently, particularly American productions? Even in gentle romcoms and comedies, it seems totally acceptable to drop the occasional (and sometimes frequent) c-word.

I can't say I had noticed this, but that could be a reflection of me not watching that many recent films of late.

I know that - depending on the context - I can find it a little shocking, and I'm interested in the psychology behind that. Why has society conditioned us to find this particular word less acceptable than four letter words based on men's bits. Like, why didn't "cock" become the C-word?

But stopping to think about it, the whole business is a bit silly anyway. Why is that word more offensive than "fanny" or the four letter T-word alternative? They're all synonyms for parts of the body, so it's a little strange that some should be more acceptable than others when they all really describe the same thing.

It doesn't seem that long ago when Mary Whitehouse was getting her knickers in a twist over the use of a single "bloody".

We're heading that way again, I think. YouTube censorship is bonkers in how puritanical it's become, with words like "hell" and "bitch" likely to be bleeped. They can't even use the word "rape" in a philosophical discussion. And if any of these words do get through, the offending word is omitted from subtitles (they give an ellipsis in square brackets instead). There's a whole generation falling back on Ned Flanderisms because saying "oh my God" would get them cancelled.

 

[Angela Chilling]

I can't say I had noticed this, but that could be a reflection of me not watching that many recent films of late.

I know that - depending on the context - I can find it a little shocking, and I'm interested in the psychology behind that. Why has society conditioned us to find this particular word less acceptable than four letter words based on men's bits. Like, why didn't "cock" become the C-word?

But stopping to think about it, the whole business is a bit silly anyway. Why is that word more offensive than "fanny" or the four letter T-word alternative? They're all synonyms for parts of the body, so it's a little strange that some should be more acceptable than others when they all really describe the same thing.

I've past the point when I'm shocked by the use of the word "c**t" whereas 10 years ago I would have been horrified to hear it used in a film or TV programme. I also notice t**t being used more often in American productions, although they pronounce it slightly differently (the vowel sound is a cross between an "a" and an "o").

I have a theory why "c**t" is more offensive to people than other swear words and it's because it starts and ends with very hard consonant sound which gives the word extra emphasis. Although "cock" also has a hard consonant at both ends, it's the same sound so doesn't have as much impact.

I was recently watching The Four Seasons on Netflix, which is a gentle comedy about three married couples who are all friends and out of the blue one of the characters dropped the c-bomb. I couldn't help thinking it wasn't that long ago I would have been surprised to hear that word said by a hardened criminal in a gangster film and now its being used in a twee light-hearted show about respectable middle-aged, middle class people.

 

[Spooky Owl!]

Extreme permissiveness and puritanism seem to be flip side of the same coin.

I have a theory why "c**t" is more offensive to people than other swear words and it's because it starts and ends with very hard consonant sound which gives the word extra emphasis. Although "cock" also has a hard consonant at both ends, it's the same sound so doesn't have as much impact.

It's a theory many of us share, more or less: the hard consonant, or the hard double-consonant in a two-syllable word, have a guttural sound which makes them come off somehow filthier.

Especially if the short-vowel "u" is used.

The F-word, the C-word, et al.

There are a lot of racist words that have the same ugly technical meaning, but few have the impact of the N-word... In fact, the only way you could make the N-word sound any more vile is if you replace the short-vowel "i" with a short-vowel "u". But since that doesn't make any sense (because it isn't the proper improper word) the N-word is often preceded with an "F-ing" to give the "N-word" (with a mere short-vowel "i") additional pungency. Thus, making the slur even more offensive than it already was.

It's all about the science.

 

[Spells & Karma]

I also notice t**t being used more often in American productions, although they pronounce it slightly differently (the vowel sound is a cross between an "a" and an "o").

Oh, that's interesting. I tend to think of it as one of those peculiarly British terms like "wazzock" or "b*llocks"

I have a theory why "c**t" is more offensive to people than other swear words and it's because it starts and ends with very hard consonant sound which gives the word extra emphasis.

the hard consonant, or the hard double-consonant in a two-syllable word, have a guttural sound which makes them come off somehow filthier.

That makes sense to me.

Although "cock" also has a hard consonant at both ends, it's the same sound so doesn't have as much impact.

Depending on the context, "cock" can sound friendly (and I suppose some are) or even funny. Leslie Phillips enunciating "Allcock" in his terribly British RP was both.

He tells the story that he received a memo from the censors telling him he was not permitted to place stress on either the first or second syllable, but the flatter he said it, the filthier it sounded.

 

[Spells & Karma]

This conversation is quite adorable. Every time Rob the British chap blushes or fans himself it's endearing.

Mercifully, it's also one of the few videos on YouTube's platform not to be prissily censored, so you may not want to watch at work (or anywhere if you're particularly prim):

I was planning to just skim through it but ended up watching the whole thing with a nice ginger infusion. It's a great, informative and intelligently presented video, covering not only the history of the words themselves, but also far more creative alternatives used in centuries past or different languages. I hope to add a few to my own lexicon to replace the three or four I occasionally trot out.

 

[Werewillie Oleson]

The maison-mansion connection seems so obvious now and yet I had never noticed it.
The video has also taught me to make a distinction between cursing and swearing. It could mean the difference between success and a plan that backfires.

As I mentioned in an earlier post (what did 2017 look like? I don't remember) I find it more and more difficult to swear or use filthy language. Other people can make it sound funny but it sounds terribly crass when it comes straight from this horse's mouth, as it were.
I still do it in moments of utter despair, which probably traces back to the original context of self-inflicting damnation.
In less severe situations I will start the swearing and then not finish it, and that means I can get away with it and still have the satisfaction of the intent.

 

[Spells & Karma]

The maison-mansion connection seems so obvious now and yet I had never noticed it.

And as part of the same distinction they also covered how the Germanic "shit" and "f*ck" have become more unacceptable than the Latinate "defecate" and "intercourse", even though the words describe the exact same thing. As I watched I thought how that tied in with the recent discussion in this thread about why "c*nt" (or "the monosyllable", as I will now enjoy calling it) is considered so unpleasant.

In less severe situations I will start the swearing and then not finish it, and that means I can get away with it and still have the satisfaction of the intent.

Do you mean like saying "What the fuuuuu...?"

 

[Spooky Owl!]

And as part of the same distinction they also covered how the Germanic "shit" and "f*ck" have become more unacceptable than the Latinate "defecate" and "intercourse", even though the words describe the exact same thing. As I watched I thought how that tied in with the recent discussion in this thread about why "c*nt" (or "the monosyllable", as I will now enjoy calling it) is considered so unpleasant.







Do you mean like saying "What the fuuuuu...?"

In today's culture, lack of vulgarity seems the most vulgar.