Things you'd love to do if you were a soap villain

[Angela Channing]

Have lots of sex with hot women who would normally be out of my league and without any negative consequence.

 

[Daniel Avery]

Being an evil villain with a "good" twin is so 1980s. Why can't we have an evil villain with an evil twin? Hell, make equally-evil triplets. Eileen Davidson could probably do it.

 

[Alexis]

I would bulldoze the local Hospital, no, the local Childrens Hospital! And build my gaudy mega mansion on its former site. I would turn the site of the once maternity wing into my fur vault, jewel vault, walk in wardrobe, and my evil villain super lair surveillance wing.

And I would only stay in the 179 room mansion 4 days of the year for tax purposes.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Why can't we have an evil villain with an evil twin?

I've never seen the series but I'm sure that LUCIFER isn't the antagonist of his own show, nevertheless I'm surprised they gave him an evil twin brother.
And then there's the despicable Gru Brothers.

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

I'd want to secretly poison my competitors by feeding them milkshakes laced with arsenic!

Then I'd sort out the new kiwi and peach milkshake before launching it in Europe.

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

I would arrange for the bridegroom's secret and pregnant recent-ex-girlfriend to jump out of the wedding cake - as naked as allowed for soap TV.

Swiftly followed by the best man breaking down at the wedding do afterwards crying uncontrollably that the groom is his gay lover and he's not gonna get it anymore!

 

[Jimmy Todd]

I love how they always had the perfect response in the moment. So many great lines from JR, Abby, Angela, Greg, and Alexis. So many times I've been in situations in which I've had the perfect comeback the next day after the moment has passed.
I always wish I could feel a tiny bit less guilty. Whenever I say something direct or stand up for myself, I'm always plagued by "Did I hurt their feelings? Did I go too far?"
There's a meme with Joan Crawford that reads "I only regret that I didn't tell more people to f*** off." I share that sentiment,but I know I would feel guilty if I did say that many(not all) times. I need a little of JR or Abby's rationalizing to ease my conscience.

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

I'd love to kick Bishop Brennan up the a*se!

 

[Jock's Ghost]

I'm with you buddy.

I've already called my pals at the FBI, I'm sure we can get his car forced off the road & made to look like an accident if he tries to make trouble.

it worked for Karen Silkwood.

 

[Jimmy Todd]

I'd like to have the resilience and joi de vivre JR, Abby, Angela, Alexis, Greg and Anne had. They lose everything but bounce right back. They get slapped, punched, thrown into lily ponds, etc. and they shrug it off so easily. They're pros at revenge, but they don't let bitterness eat away at them. There is a lot to be said for that.

 

[lbf522]

Soap villains were great. They were brilliant and their schemes were hard to understand at first. The heroes had to be just as smart to defeat them. Now they dumb down the heroes to make the villains seem smart.