Personal Growth: Jock Compared To JR

[Kenny Coyote]

This line came up in the Q&A thread and I realized it would make for some good discussion.

We know that Jock, by own admission, ran roughshod over some people in his younger years. Maybe not all the time, but at least some of the time he did in a way he wasn't proud of.

The following line is from the Q&A thread regarding the time when Bobby was filling in for JR while JR recovered from his gunshot injuries. Jock said it regarding a small gas station owner's fears that Bobby would screw them over by reneging on Jock's handshake deal with them and hold them up for more money than they could afford. Jock said: "If any son of mine ever made a move in that direction, he'd be kicked out the door of Ewing Oil before he knew what hit him. We only pick on people our own size and you know it."

What this line tells us is that even if he was very unethical in his past, people in the oil business know he has changed and become a good man. The gas station's owner looked as if he knew this to be true - he didn't say "Yeah, right" in a sarcastic way or even look at Jock in a cynical way when Jock said this. His reaction was of becoming at ease again and not feeling scared anymore.

So it tells us that whatever Jock may or may not have done in his past, since we never got to see it for ourselves, Jock has evolved as a man, and for a long time. He went through a process of personal growth and to the degree that smaller businessmen trust him and feel reassured when he says those words in that quote. I think Jock had become probably as ethical a man as he could be in the oil industry and still survive.

From the very beginning Jock told JR things like the importance of being tactful and more subtle and to leave a man some dignity. JR just never understood why those things are important. JR never forced himself to grow as a man to where he'd truly understand that if you treat people badly enough, nobody will trust you and want to do business with you.

JR was determined to make Jock proud of him, yet tragically, he couldn't see that since he regarded Jock so highly, he should have listened to Jock better and done what was necessary to learn the lessons Jock was trying to teach him.

That was profoundly devastating for JR to not learn and integrate those concepts, to refuse to grow as a man, ultimately resulting in the government taking the Ewing Oil name from them and fining them a third of their net worth. That was just the beginning.

JR was left ending up holding nothing in his hands by the end of Dallas except a bottle of liquor and a gun. His failure to learn better from Jock and to grow and evolve, cost him everything he had ever had.

 

[tommie]

I've always gotten the impression that Jock only started to mellow once he backed away from Ewing Oil and until he started leaving the business to JR he was fiercely ruthless. This is what made the Jock/Digger conflict interesting - because what was the truth? Jock wanted to sell it as Digger being a useless drunk, but was that the truth or what he had told everybody?

Regardless, being the oldest, JR probably grew up watching his father being ruthless in business and thought that it was how it was supposed to be run. I imagine that Bobby, being the youngest, probably didn't see or even understand all the nasty stuff Jock did, hence his more idealistic point of view.

 

[Kenny Coyote]

Regardless, being the oldest, JR probably grew up watching his father being ruthless in business and thought that it was how it was supposed to be run. I imagine that Bobby, being the youngest, probably didn't see or even understand all the nasty stuff Jock did, hence his more idealistic point of view.

No, that's not my point....I mean JR didn't learn from Jock.. Jock repeatedly tried to teach JR things:

"Don't make fun of a man's misery"

"You've gotta leave a man some dignity."

"You jackass....You need to learn the art of subtlety! (JR asks why because he doesn't even know why) Jock responds: Because the lack of it turns competitors into enemies and enemies into fanatics."

JR either couldn't or wouldn't learn what Jock was teaching him and that's what caused his downfall. It's why Jock died a wealthy man, with tons of people who trusted his word with Jock's handshake being even better than a contract.

Bobby learned those lessons and that's why was able to buy the refinery, for example. Remember JR being envious and saying that Bobby had done something he himself had never been able to do? Bobby learned that people would rather deal with a man they can trust than with a man they can't trust. That's why people liked dealing with Bobby and only dealt with JR when they had no resort. Bobby learned Jock's attitude towards dealing with competitors and JR didn't. That's why JR ended up holding nothing by the end of Dallas.

Jock evolved as a businessman and earned the trust of people like the gas station owners. That's why he was believed by the gas station owner who felt reassured and no longer frightened for his business' future after Jock said: "If any son of mine ever made a move in that direction, he'd be kicked out the door of Ewing Oil before he knew what hit him. We only pick on people our own size and you know it."

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

I've always gotten the impression that Jock only started to mellow once he backed away from Ewing Oil and until he started leaving the business to JR he was fiercely ruthless. This is what made the Jock/Digger conflict interesting - because what was the truth? Jock wanted to sell it as Digger being a useless drunk, but was that the truth or what he had told everybody?

Regardless, being the oldest, JR probably grew up watching his father being ruthless in business and thought that it was how it was supposed to be run. I imagine that Bobby, being the youngest, probably didn't see or even understand all the nasty stuff Jock did, hence his more idealistic point of view.

yeah, before they whitewashed things later and made Jock a saint, I thought the “real power is something you TAKE” speech was potentially illuminating, especially given a deflated Bobby’s response, “well I’m going to remember that.”

Did that thinking apply when Jock took full ownership of Ewing Oil back in the Digger days? At the time of this confrontation, that question hadn’t been answered satisfactorily.

 

[James from London]

I've always loved Jock's line about JR in Ellie Saves the Day, “I trained J.R. and taught him everything he knows. Gave him the fever for big business. But I never taught him when to stop."

 

[Jimmy Todd]

There was a scene where Miss Ellie confronts JR about the unethical way he's doing business and that Jock would not approve of it. JR responds that Miss Ellie never worked with him at the office and nasically didn't know what she was talking about. He does say to her that, "Daddy was a fair man, but also a tough man."
There's enough room for interpretation because we're hearing this from JR's point of view.

 

[James from London]

"Mama, you don't know the half of what Daddy did when he was running the company."

 

[Jimmy Todd]

"Mama, you don't know the half of what Daddy did when he was running the company."

There's a lot of layers here: how much of what JR is implying is reality or JR justifying his own action, Miss Ellie being in denial to some extent about Jock, how much Jock himself grew because his ethics changed and how much was it simply because he just didn't have to be as ruthless at a later point in his life. Also, how much did the show sanitize Jock's character after Jim Davis died?

 

[James from London]

There's a lot of layers here: how much of what JR is implying is reality or JR justifying his own action, Miss Ellie being in denial to some extent about Jock, how much Jock himself grew because his ethics changed and how much was it simply because he just didn't have to be as ruthless at a later point in his life. Also, how much did the show sanitize Jock's character after Jim Davis died?

I kind of like that there are no definitive answers to that question (although I never got the sense that Jock "grew" or changed per se, more that he simply mellowed and became more reflective with age).

 

[Jimmy Todd]

I kind of like that there are no definitive answers to that question (although I never got the sense that Jock "grew" or changed per se, more that he simply mellowed and became more reflective with age).

I like the ambiguity as well. Just the right amount draws me in more to the show and makes it more interesting to discuss.

 

[Kenny Coyote]

yeah, before they whitewashed things later and made Jock a saint, I thought the “real power is something you TAKE” speech was potentially illuminating, especially given a deflated Bobby’s response, “well I’m going to remember that.”

Did that thinking apply when Jock took full ownership of Ewing Oil back in the Digger days? At the time of this confrontation, that question hadn’t been answered satisfactorily.

You thought "real power" was "potentially" illuminating? I thought it was illuminating right then and not just illuminating but very, very admirable. It 's inspiring! It's about taking charge of your life, and not waiting for a handout! If you've got a great job but you didn't earn it, you didn't deserve it, and you're not even necessarily very good at it, how proud of yourself can you really be? Now suppose you take that job - you make yourself as qualified as you can for it by educating yourself and perfecting the necessary skills, and then when it comes time for the job interview or audition - lets call it an audition for a band and this happens: Everyone takes his turn playing a couple songs with the band, and some are better than others but they all make some mistakes. Then your turn comes last and you just smoke the competition - you take that spot in the band! That's very admirable and you can truly feel good about yourself for taking that spot by blowing away the competition as opposed to getting the spot in the band because the lead guitarist's wife is your sister and she begged him to give you the spot.

In the case of the guy who was handed his spot without merit, he doesn't have anything to be proud of - his place in the band wasn't earned; it was given. In that sense it's not real. Now compare Bobby's situation. He was running Ewing Oil because JR got shot and someone had to fill in - Bobby got the job by default - not by merit. It was given - not earned, therefore not "real power." Does anyone see the similarities in the two situations?

Now finally, let's look at Jock's position of running Ewing Oil when he did it. He built the company from nothing. He didn't inherit it from his father, it wasn't given to him. He had to go through every separate phase of building a company a man would have to go through. When Ewing Oil finally got big enough that it was by any standard a big, powerful company, Jock had real power.

He took power by taking initiative in life, going after his goal, and achieving it. That makes it real power. It's real because it belongs to him, he earned it, and since nobody gave to to him, nobody can take it away. Bobby's "power" wasn't real - it was a privilege he was handed. He was given the job. That which is given can be taken away - just like a privilege. Bobby didn't climb all the rungs in the ladder that Jock had to to get there. It's a far, far different thing from real power. At any given time Jock could decide Bobby's performance wasn't up to snuff and then go back to running his company himself.. Well, if Jock does that, if he goes back to running his company himself, who can say to Jock: You're not doing a very good job so you're going to have to step down"? Nobody, and that makes all the difference.

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

You thought "real power" was "potentially" illuminating? I thought it was illuminating right then and not just illuminating but very, very admirable. It 's inspiring! .

oh, it’s absolutely a great quote, incisive and truthful! I was just referring very specifically to Digger’s claim that Jock stole his half of the company, etc.

This quote was treading close to the territory of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men (which came a number of years later):

Cruise: "Did you order the code red?"
Nicholson: "You're goddamn right I did!"

in the confrontation with Bobby in the Cattleman's Club

Jock: "You're damn right I took it, it's mine!"
...
Jock: "Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you *take*!"
Bobby (resigned, maybe disappointed in what he's heard from his lifelong hero): "Well, I'm gonna remember that."

Of course Jock's not talking about the Digger dispute here, but think of Bobby's mentality (and us as the viewers at the time). We'd heard both sides of the story, maybe we tended to believe Jock, and Bobby certainly did, but no one knew for sure what happened except probably Jock himself and possibly Sam Culver (Digger was too drunk and unreliable).

Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but I could see Bobby here, having believed all his life that his dad was in the right and telling the truth about the split with Digger, having second thoughts now that his dad laid out his philosophy in such clear terms... maybe Jock really *did* take Digger's half away in something of a strongarm move. He *took* full control and ownership of the company from Digger, not simply because he was intending to make things right afterwards, but because he saw the opportunity to seize the power and get that drunken liability out of there.

There's an ambiguity here about the backstory that makes the scene all that much more powerful.

Of course it was all wiped away later with the Jason nonsense (had to get Jenilee Harrison into the cast somehow, I guess), but I thought it was more interesting when the backstory question hadn't fully been answered.

 

[Kenny Coyote]

Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but I could see Bobby here, having believed all his life that his dad was in the right and telling the truth about the split with Digger, having second thoughts now that his dad laid out his philosophy in such clear terms... maybe Jock really *did* take Digger's half away in something of a strongarm move. He *took* full control and ownership of the company from Digger, not simply because he was intending to make things right afterwards, but because he saw the opportunity to seize the power and get that drunken liability out of there.

There's an ambiguity here about the backstory that makes the scene all that much more powerful.

Of course it was all wiped away later with the Jason nonsense (had to get Jenilee Harrison into the cast somehow, I guess), but I thought it was more interesting when the backstory question hadn't fully been answered.

His dad did lay out his philosophy and that's what my previous post about - how it is a good and just way of looking at things and the only way a man can go about it and truly feel good about it so that he has a healthy self-esteem. If power is given, if it's a handout, it's nothing more than a privilege, something that can be taken away just as easily as it as given - therefore "If I gave you power then you've got nothing"! A man can only take pride and know that what he has is real when it's earned. Not given...earned.

Bobby certainly did look deflated when he walked away and I'd like to think that he was a bright enough guy to know that he didn't have anything resembling to the power Jock had. After all, who owned the company? Who was letting him run the company?

Bobby had every reason to feel deflated and embarrassed because he'd made an absolutely terrible judgement call. Bobby had chosen to confront his father right in front of his father's friends! He must have been kicking himself as he walked away, thinking: What a stupid thing to do! Whether what Bobby was saying was right or to was nullified by the fact that he tried to not just confront but berate his father in front of his friends. Bobby had made a terrible error in judgement. How could he walk away feeling anything but deflated?

Did Digger's claim have any truth to it? I thought about it in these terms: If Digger had all the amazing ability he claimed to have had, why wasn't he ever able to make money working with or for anyone else but Jock Ewing? If he'd had the ability he claimed to have, he'd have been an incredibly valuable commodity to any oil company. But apparently after he parted ways with Jock he wasn't in demand by any of them. That told me what I needed to know about him.

Nobody smells oil 5,000 feet underground. Digger got lucky a few times. Well, you can't duplicate luck on command. You can duplicate the product of skill on demand. Had Digger had that, a genuine still by which he could have found oil consistently, he could have named his price to any oil company that wanted to hire him. But he couldn't and therefore didn't.

Digger crawled inside a bottle and spent the rest of his life bellyaching about how he got cheated and how his "great ability" wasn't given its just due and all that stuff. At one point Digger got so pathetic that he tried to shoot Jock. He missed. Jock could have, had he wanted, chosen to press charges for attempted murder and had Digger put in prison, but he didn't. I think he figured: The poor slob has punished himself far worse than I or anyone else could ever punish him.

 

[Billy Wall]

No, that's not my point....I mean JR didn't learn from Jock.. Jock repeatedly tried to teach JR things:

"Don't make fun of a man's misery"

"You've gotta leave a man some dignity."

"You jackass....You need to learn the art of subtlety! (JR asks why because he doesn't even know why) Jock responds: Because the lack of it turns competitors into enemies and enemies into fanatics."

JR either couldn't or wouldn't learn what Jock was teaching him and that's what caused his downfall. It's why Jock died a wealthy man, with tons of people who trusted his word with Jock's handshake being even better than a contract.

Bobby learned those lessons and that's why was able to buy the refinery, for example. Remember JR being envious and saying that Bobby had done something he himself had never been able to do? Bobby learned that people would rather deal with a man they can trust than with a man they can't trust. That's why people liked dealing with Bobby and only dealt with JR when they had no resort. Bobby learned Jock's attitude towards dealing with competitors and JR didn't. That's why JR ended up holding nothing by the end of Dallas.

Jock evolved as a businessman and earned the trust of people like the gas station owners. That's why he was believed by the gas station owner who felt reassured and no longer frightened for his business' future after Jock said: "If any son of mine ever made a move in that direction, he'd be kicked out the door of Ewing Oil before he knew what hit him. We only pick on people our own size and you know it."

I am really surprised to hear this coming from you. Lol

 

[Billy Wall]

There's a lot of layers here: how much of what JR is implying is reality or JR justifying his own action, Miss Ellie being in denial to some extent about Jock, how much Jock himself grew because his ethics changed and how much was it simply because he just didn't have to be as ruthless at a later point in his life. Also, how much did the show sanitize Jock's character after Jim Davis died?

JR can be full of it, but I believe him 100% when he said that. Miss Ellie didn’t know just how ruthless Jock was.

 

[Lastkidpicked]

Jock: "Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you *take*!"
Bobby (resigned, maybe disappointed in what he's heard from his lifelong hero): "Well, I'm gonna remember that."

Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but I could see Bobby here, having believed all his life that his dad was in the right and telling the truth about the split with Digger, having second thoughts now that his dad laid out his philosophy in such clear terms... maybe Jock really *did* take Digger's half away in something of a strongarm move. He *took* full control and ownership of the company from Digger, not simply because he was intending to make things right afterwards, but because he saw the opportunity to seize the power and get that drunken liability out of there.

Very insightful post, as usual, from Guzzler. And it opens the door for an entirely different viewpoint.

Is it possible that Jock is a product of his time, and he lived life to HIS morals and ethics?

"Power is something you take" means that in his mind, it is morally and ethically correct to bribe a politician. If he didn't bribe that senator to get his oil lease, then his competition would have done it anyway, so in Jock's mind, he did nothing unethical.

Jock evolved as a businessman and earned the trust of people like the gas station owners. That's why he was believed by the gas station owner who felt reassured and no longer frightened for his business' future after Jock said: "If any son of mine ever made a move in that direction, he'd be kicked out the door of Ewing Oil before he knew what hit him. We only pick on people our own size and you know it."

To Jock, it would not be ethically and morally correct to bully a gas station owner.

Blackmail an energy commissioner -----> That is business
Pushing around a station owner ------> That is wrong and unethical

There's a lot of layers here: how much of what JR is implying is reality or JR justifying his own action, Miss Ellie being in denial to some extent about Jock, how much Jock himself grew because his ethics changed and how much was it simply because he just didn't have to be as ruthless at a later point in his life. Also, how much did the show sanitize Jock's character after Jim Davis died?

Very good questions.

I kind of like that there are no definitive answers to those questions.

Yes! That is what gives so much value to this discussion.

That was profoundly devastating for JR to not learn and integrate those concepts, to refuse to grow as a man

To me, this is the difference between J.R. and Jock.

J.R. often admitted that he had no ethics. He even bragged that "Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake!"

Jock's code of ethics may be different from yours and mine, but he believed in them and he lived by them.

To put a finer point on it, let's postulate that both J.R. and Jock pull the exact same dirty trick.

If you ask J.R. about it, he would say, "Of course it was wrong! But he needed slapping down."

If you ask Jock about doing the same thing, he would say, "Your damn right I did it. It was the right thing to do. He needed cut out of the deal."


Or, as James From London quoted, "I trained J.R. and taught him everything he knows. Gave him the fever for big business. But I never taught him when to stop."

 

[Kenny Coyote]

Is it possible that Jock is a product of his time, and he lived life to HIS morals and ethics?

I don't think it's possible that Jock could have been anything other than a product of his time who lived according to his own morals and ethics.

Morality varies from one man to the next. My morality is different from your morality is different from Guzzler's, etc. We all have to make our own judgement calls on how to live - nobody can make them for us.

Jock was born in 1909. Just as he was becoming an adult, The Great Depression was beginning. Jock was also working in an industry that's cutthroat by just about any standard, and when you add the worst economic period of the last hundred years to that, it's not difficult to see why Jock's business ethics were what they were.

If you live in circumstances where you either become a hard, aggressive man or the men who do will run you out of business, it will change you. That's certain. The only question is how much it will change you and in what ways it will change you. I believe Jock looked at the circumstances around him and thought: "First, how do I survive, and then, how do I flourish"? Jock became the man he had to become to both survive and flourish in a very harsh, challenging environment.

It's commendable that after going though all of that, he conducted himself and his business in a way where his handshake was considered better than a contract. When he said to the gas station owner: "If any son of mine ever made a move in that direction, he'd be kicked out the door of Ewing Oil before he knew what hit him. We only pick on people our own size and you know it", it said a lot that the man he said it to looked visibly relieved and no longer afraid. It told us Jock had integrity. There was nothing compelling Jock to stay true to that ethic. He could have said he'd let his son run Ewing Oil any way he saw fit and if that guy or anyone else didn't like it, too bad.

There are different ways to interpret Jock's "real power" statement. What I've done is taken a look at what they showed us of Jock's business dealings, looked at how his contemporaries liked dealing with him, his reputation in his community, and how loved or not loved he was by his wife and sons. How did the people who knew him best think of him? Did they admire him? Did they aspire to be like him? Did they love him?

As a result of observing all of the above, Here's my interpretation of what Jock meant with the statement "Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you take."

If power is given, it's a privilege, something that can be taken away just as easily as it as given - therefore "If I gave you power then you've got nothing"! A man can only take pride and know that what he has is real when it's earned. Not given...earned. Jock was allowing Bobby to run Ewing Oil. Bobby only had power to run it as long as Jock allowed Bobby to run it. When Bobby displayed the poor judgement of confronting and berating his father in front of his father's friends, Jock decided Bobby needed to be reminded of the difference between having power over a company because you've created it, and having power over it because the man who owns and created the company is allowing you to to run it.

When Jock says "Real power is something you take" the word "take" is meant in the most positive sense of the word. It's meant in the sense of: Take initiative. Take control of your life. If you want real power over a company then go and do those things yourself. Don't ask for a handout. If you want real power, then you take initiative, take control of your life by creating your own company so that your power in running that company any way you see fit is your right - not a privilege. Or you can work for me. It's up to you. If you do choose to work for me just don't confuse filling in for your brother because he's been shot as being on par with being promoted to that position through merit.

 

[Jimmy Todd]

I don't think it's possible that Jock could have been anything other than a product of his time who lived according to his own morals and ethics.

Morality varies from one man to the next. My morality is different from your morality is different from Guzzler's, etc. We all have to make our own judgement calls on how to live - nobody can make them for us.

Jock was born in 1909. Just as he was becoming an adult, The Great Depression was beginning. Jock was also working in an industry that's cutthroat by just about any standard, and when you add the worst economic period of the last hundred years to that, it's not difficult to see why Jock's business ethics were what they were.

If you live in circumstances where you either become a hard, aggressive man or the men who do will run you out of business, it will change you. That's certain. The only question is how much it will change you and in what ways it will change you. I believe Jock looked at the circumstances around him and thought: "First, how do I survive, and then, how do I flourish"? Jock became the man he had to become to both survive and flourish in a very harsh, challenging environment.

It's commendable that after going though all of that, he conducted himself and his business in a way where his handshake was considered better than a contract. When he said to the gas station owner: "If any son of mine ever made a move in that direction, he'd be kicked out the door of Ewing Oil before he knew what hit him. We only pick on people our own size and you know it", it said a lot that the man he said it to looked visibly relieved and no longer afraid. It told us Jock had integrity. There was nothing compelling Jock to stay true to that ethic. He could have said he'd let his son run Ewing Oil any way he saw fit and if that guy or anyone else didn't like it, too bad.

There are different ways to interpret Jock's "real power" statement. What I've done is taken a look at what they showed us of Jock's business dealings, looked at how his contemporaries liked dealing with him, his reputation in his community, and how loved or not loved he was by his wife and sons. How did the people who knew him best think of him? Did they admire him? Did they aspire to be like him? Did they love him?

As a result of observing all of the above, Here's my interpretation of what Jock meant with the statement "Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you take."

If power is given, it's a privilege, something that can be taken away just as easily as it as given - therefore "If I gave you power then you've got nothing"! A man can only take pride and know that what he has is real when it's earned. Not given...earned. Jock was allowing Bobby to run Ewing Oil. Bobby only had power to run it as long as Jock allowed Bobby to run it. When Bobby displayed the poor judgement of confronting and berating his father in front of his father's friends, Jock decided Bobby needed to be reminded of the difference between having power over a company because you've created it, and having power over it because the man who owns and created the company is allowing you to to run it.

When Jock says "Real power is something you take" the word "take" is meant in the most positive sense of the word. It's meant in the sense of: Take initiative. Take control of your life. If you want real power over a company then go and do those things yourself. Don't ask for a handout. If you want real power, then you take initiative, take control of your life by creating your own company so that your power in running that company any way you see fit is your right - not a privilege. Or you can work for me. It's up to you. If you do choose to work for me just don't confuse filling in for your brother because he's been shot as being on par with being promoted to that position through merit.

There is a lot of sense and merit to what you said here, but there is a problem. When does it go from someone being a "product of his time" to self-deception
We all have to survive, and some in very harsh circumstances. At what point does a person cross the line from surviving to rationalizing their actions to become not merely rich, but the richest?
An extreme case would be slavery. One could argue that slaveowners were products of their time, but can morality always be so subjective? Isn't dehumanizing a person always immoral? How much of this is not the time period, but more that people don't want to really examine their morals because they might then have to make changes in their lives and comfort level?
Also, did the men who did business with Jock and displayed such admiration for him do so because that's how they felt, or because he was at the top of the heap and it was just good business for them to do so?
Does his family love and respect him for who he is or who they think he is?

 

[Kenny Coyote]

There is a lot of sense and merit to what you said here, but there is a problem. When does it go from someone being a "product of his time" to self-deception
We all have to survive, and some in very harsh circumstances. At what point does a person cross the line from surviving to rationalizing their actions to become not merely rich, but the richest?

We're all products of our times. That's why I agree with the idea that there is nobody who is, in his field, "the greatest of all time." One can only be the best of his time. Every time period has its own unique circumstances. Every generation can learn from those who came before them. They have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of those in the past and to capitalize and improve upon the achievements and developments of their predecessors.

As for "self-deception", that's something we all struggle with to some degree or another. You are the best judge of if you're deceiving yourself. Who is anybody else to judge you? Have they walked a mile in your shoes? The best way I can briefly explain how to know how well you're doing in that regard is: When you look in the mirror do you like the person you see?

Also, did the men who did business with Jock and displayed such admiration for him do so because that's how they felt, or because he was at the top of the heap and it was just good business for them to do so?
Does his family love and respect him for who he is or who they think he is?

As for his contemporaries, his fellow businessmen, I'd ask: Did they stop acting like they liked him when he wasn't around? Did they talk about him one way to his face and another way behind his back? The more consistently they act, whether Jock is there or not, the more genuine their actions towards Jock and their words about Jock are.

Does his family love him for who he is? They live with him. They should know Jock better than anyone. Except they only know him as family. Ray had a very unique perspective because he first knew Jock as a man who was not family but his employer, and then later knew Jock as his father. Ray knew how Jock treated him in both situations and that's an extremely rare perspective from which to know a man. How do you think Ray felt about Jock, having known him in both circumstances? Think about how Ray thought of Jock and you have the best answer to your question I can give you.

 

[Laurie Marr]

I don’t think a character like JR, at least as originally conceived, can bear the weight of anything so existentially burdensome as ‘growth.’ He was an archetype. That’s why his machinations were so compelling.