Thank you for the feedback Shan. I'm glad that you loved the new JR/SE video I made for you.
Then here's tonight's update:
At Pizza hut, Christopher and Pam were seated opposite each other in a booth, eating pizza slices off a plate in the middle of the table.
“Mm…this was actually really good. I’d forgotten that pizza could taste like this,” Pam said, as she took another bite of her pizza.
“See I told you they make excellent pizza here!” Christopher smiled.
“You did,” Pam smiled but then her smile vanished.
“Still you didn’t bring me here for the food, did you?” Christopher saw right through her.
“No,” Pam shook her head. “You and I need to talk. I’m sure you have a lot of questions about why I left you and I owe you some sort of explanation.”
“You do,” Christopher agreed.
“God Christopher I really don’t know where to start.” Pam sighed. “So why don’t you ask me what you want to know and I promise to answer your questions?”
“Okay,” Christopher nodded. “You can start with telling me why you left me?”
Pam sighed, as it was just typical that Christopher would ask her the hardest question first, still now there was no turning back. So she said, “Alright, you remember how I was in a car crash before I left?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to know but it must have been pretty bad.”
“It was,” Pam nodded. “The moment I hit that truck, I thought I was going to die. The last thing I remember was pressing the brakes as hard as I could while I tried to cover up my face. Then there was just a big explosion and I passed out.”
“The car exploded?” Christopher asked, as he’d never been told the details before.
“Yeah,” Pam nodded. “The next thing I remember is waking up at the hospital. My whole body itched and I was covered in bandages all the way from my face to my toes.”
“Like a mummy?” Christopher asked.
“Yeah you could say that,” Pam said seriously, “For a while I felt more dead than alive. But then there was your dad, sitting by my side, holding my hand. Knowing he was there made me want to fight to live.”
“I remember that he did spend an awful lot of time at the hospital.”
“He did,” Pam nodded. “The next couple of weeks are mostly a blur to me. I was on strong medications and I slept most of the time. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, there were different people that came to see me. Your dad of course and your uncle Cliff and even your aunt Katherine…” Pam remembered.
“Aunt Katherine?” Christopher asked.
“Yeah you won’t remember her, but we used to be quite close when you were little. Then we had a fall out and didn’t talk for a few years. But after my accident she really came through for me.”
“So are you still close now?”
“No, I haven’t talked to her since she came to visit me when Rebecca was a baby,” Pam explained.
“Okay,” Christopher nodded. “I’m sorry for not visiting you at the hospital. I wanted to but I wasn’t allowed to,” Christopher remembered. “One day I even took my bike and rode it all the way to the hospital but the doctors still didn’t let me see you,” Christopher said, his voice cracking up with emotions at the memory.
“I know,” Pam said tenderly. Christopher looked surprised at her. “Your daddy told me about that. I was touched you loved me that much.”
“Then why couldn’t I see you?”
“Because the doctors thought it was best if you didn’t. Remember Christopher you were only six years old and I was very, very sick!”
“That’s true, I was just six years old and then one day you were just gone…” Christopher said in an upset voice. “Do you have any idea how that made me feel?”
“Not really but I know what it’s like to grow up without a mother,” Pam said emotionally.
“You do?” Christopher asked.
“Yes, only thing is that mine left me when I wasn’t even two years old. So I didn’t even have any clear memories of her. Digger told me she was dead but the truth was that she’d chosen to leave us.”
“I didn’t know that,” Christopher said surprised. “So when did your mother come back?”
“She never did. I looked her up as an adult and we patched up our relationship.”
“So you forgave her?”
“Yeah, it wasn’t easy. But I did since I wanted a mother. I wanted her to be a part of my life.”
“I see,” Christopher said. Then he asked the burning question he’d sought an answer to ever since that autumn day in 1987. “But if you knew what it was like to be abandoned, why did you do the same thing to me?”
“Oh Christopher, you make it sound like it was so easy. But it wasn’t anything like that. In fact leaving you and your dad was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!”
“But that’s just it. You didn’t have to leave us. I mean I would have loved you even if you weren’t as pretty as you were before the accident. Heck I didn’t care what you looked like, all I wanted was a mother…” Christopher said emotionally, as he tried to blink back the tears.
“I know that sweetie and believe me it wasn’t an easy decision. I don’t expect you to understand it. To be honest, I don’t really understand it myself.”
“Then why did you do it?”
“Because I wanted to spare you,” Pam said. “Look after the accident I was in very bad shape. There were no guarantees that I would make it and I didn’t want you and your dad to have to deal with the possibility of me dying.”
“So instead you left and let me think you didn’t love me?” Christopher cried.
“I’m so sorry Christopher,” Pam apologized. “I know now that leaving you both was a mistake. But I couldn’t see it then.”
“I still don’t understand why you choose to leave me…”
“Oh Christopher I know you can never understand it, I didn’t want to hurt you but…I was really not well and expecting Rebecca…”
“So you chose Rebecca over me?”
Pam sighed, “No it wasn’t like that at all.”
“So you don’t love her more than you love me because she’s your real child?”
“No,” Pam shook her head. “This has nothing to do with that you are adopted,” Pam tried to reassure him. “You have to believe me when I say that I love you just as much as Rebecca.”
“But if that’s true, why did you leave me and not her?”
“Because I couldn’t leave her, she wasn’t even born then…” Pam said emotionally before she went on. “Christopher, look even if I can never justify leaving you I hope you do know that I never stopped loving you, because I didn’t. I thought of you ever so often and I wanted to come back I did but…” Pam’s voice cracked up from emotions as she tried to hold back the tears.
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Because I wasn’t well, darling please I want you to know that I really do love you,” Pam said with tears in her eyes. “The day your father brought you home was the happiest day of my life. You have no idea how much I wanted you and how much I loved you.”
“I loved you too but you really hurt me.”
“I know that and I’m so sorry. If there was some way to turn back time I would. But I can’t,” Pam said sadly, as the first tears started to fall down her cheeks. “Look darling I can’t change the past. But I hope you don’t let it stand in the way of us having a future. What I mean is that I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me…” Pam pleaded with Chris.
Seeing the pain in her eyes that mirrored his own Christopher knew what he had to do, “Oh mom I’ve missed you so much...”
“I’ve missed you too, come here and give me a hug,” Pam cried, as she stood up taking Christopher’s hand, motioning at him to get up.
“But mom we’re at pizza hut…” Christopher objected.
“I know that but I don’t care, do you?”
“No not really,” Christopher said, as he got up and his mother took him into his arms, giving him a hug. “And for the record, I will…”
“You will what?” Pam asked.
“Forgive you,” Christopher spelled it out for her.
Pam smiled through her tears, “Really?”
“Yeah, I forgive you,” Christopher cried and hearing that Pam held Christopher even tighter as they both wept together.
“Oh sweetie, you had no idea how much I needed to hear that,” Pam cried, as she felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from her heart.
I am so happy that Pam and Christopher are finally starting to communicate with each other with out fighting and I am looking forward to finding out how their bowling date goes before they get into their discussion about why Pam left Christopher and Bobby all those years ago. 
