Dallas - What/if...?

[DallasFanForever]

I think that would have worked.

I gotta say, no one could ever tell you that you don’t have a creative mind.

 

[Seaviewer]

It has the benefit of not being a dream, but anything short of a return of the real Bobby would tend to defeat the purpose.

 

[TheDeadBobby]

What if when Gary showed up in the 2nd or third season now taller with blond hair but JR figures out the plastic surgery deal and fake hair color is because Gary was actually in the witness protection program because he spilled the beans on the evil government Mob out in California and they were out to kill him to keep him quiet, so he had to go undercover? :eck:

Well! and then what if JR, rotten as ever threatened to expose him and blow his cover because JR always hated Gary, so Gary had to kill him and stuffed the body into an oil drum and shipped it to China with no return address while stealing all JR's identity and personal information? Then he flew back to California, contacted the plastic surgeon who changed him from the old season one Gary to the new Gary and paid him to change him into a perfect clone of JR?? And what if the surgery went perfect!! and he looked exactly like JR, the only problem was that he was too skinny?

In the meantime everyone back at Southfork was wondering where JR was and why Gary suddenly left?? And what if the new Fake JR called the ranch and explained that Gary had to leave to get back to his new used car job in California and the other thing is he suddenly came down with some throat cancer from drinking too much and had to fly to Europe to have surgery by the world's best throat docs when actually he was in Italy eating like a pig to get his weight to plump out like JR to complete the makeover?

And what if he turned into the perfect clone, returned to Dallas and drank a bunch so any slight mannerism differences that people notice could be blamed on the Bourbon? And what if he wasn't close to Sue Ellen anyway so she never noticed a thing except he was acting nicer than ever, but he realized the mistake and had to start slapping her around a bit more?

And what if the only glitch was that the new JR had absolutely no idea how to run an oil company and he was making the mistake of telling people the truth about their deals and losing all kinds of money, so he had to start lying, cheating and stealing better which suddenly turned things around and he started making all sorts of crazy money and everything sort of fell into place? And then what if when he gained control of the entire company and sold it to someone in Cuba for 16 Billion Dollars (in 1980s money) and then, stashed the loot, went to the plastic surgeon and got a new face, a cross between Evil Knevil and Clint Eastwood and then moved to Switzerland under totally new name causing the entire show of Dallas to come crashing and crumbling to an end by season 11?

Would that be weird?
I'm thinking it would have been a better ending than the actual bogus last season...

 

[Sarah]

I can't take anymore.

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

What if when Gary showed up in the 2nd or third season now taller with blond hair but JR figures out the plastic surgery deal and fake hair color is because Gary was actually in the witness protection program because he spilled the beans on the evil government Mob out in California and they were out to kill him to keep him quiet, so he had to go undercover? :eck:

Well! and then what if JR, rotten as ever threatened to expose him and blow his cover because JR always hated Gary, so Gary had to kill him and stuffed the body into an oil drum and shipped it to China with no return address while stealing all JR's identity and personal information? Then he flew back to California, contacted the plastic surgeon who changed him from the old season one Gary to the new Gary and paid him to change him into a perfect clone of JR?? And what if the surgery went perfect!! and he looked exactly like JR, the only problem was that he was too skinny?

In the meantime everyone back at Southfork was wondering where JR was and why Gary suddenly left?? And what if the new Fake JR called the ranch and explained that Gary had to leave to get back to his new used car job in California and the other thing is he suddenly came down with some throat cancer from drinking too much and had to fly to Europe to have surgery by the world's best throat docs when actually he was in Italy eating like a pig to get his weight to plump out like JR to complete the makeover?

And what if he turned into the perfect clone, returned to Dallas and drank a bunch so any slight mannerism differences that people notice could be blamed on the Bourbon? And what if he wasn't close to Sue Ellen anyway so she never noticed a thing except he was acting nicer than ever, but he realized the mistake and had to start slapping her around a bit more?

And what if the only glitch was that the new JR had absolutely no idea how to run an oil company and he was making the mistake of telling people the truth about their deals and losing all kinds of money, so he had to start lying, cheating and stealing better which suddenly turned things around and he started making all sorts of crazy money and everything sort of fell into place? And then what if when he gained control of the entire company and sold it to someone in Cuba for 16 Billion Dollars (in 1980s money) and then, stashed the loot, went to the plastic surgeon and got a new face, a cross between Evil Knevil and Clint Eastwood and then moved to Switzerland under totally new name causing the entire show of Dallas to come crashing and crumbling to an end by season 11?

Would that be weird?
I'm thinking it would have been a better ending than the actual bogus last season...

I could see this all happening, but with the oil drum containing JR slipping off its boat and falling into the open sea, one end bursting open, revealing a wounded and thirsty JR stubbornly clinging to life.

He’d use the drum as a makeshift boat and start spearing fish for food, gradually regaining his strength and plotting his revenge on Gary.

Eventually he’d wash ashore on an island in the South Pacific, where he’d be welcomed as a seafaring hero. He’d help develop the fledgling oil industry there (much like Jock and Punk were doing in South America) and eventually earn enough money to return to Southfork where, having undergone such a physical ordeal, he’d be thin and weathered enough to look virtually identical to an older version of the first Gary, which would confuse the Donna Reed version of Miss Ellie, which is not surprising because pretty much everything confused her.

JR/Gary 1 would track Gary 1/Gary 2/JR/Clint/Evel down in Switzerland, where they’d mend their fences and form an ABBA-like musical supergroup with Ray and Jenna and Afton, who’d all moved to Europe earlier, with occasional special guest appearances by Garnet McGee (a whining Charlie would be prohibited from participating as punishment for making out with a Swiss Brad Pitt lookalike in a Alpine barn).

They’d eventually return to Southfork to sing at the fairytale wedding of Lucy and her onetime kidnapper Willie Gust, who’d reformed himself into an upstanding citizen after 5 years in prison.

The Ewings would all live happily ever after, with the show lasting 23 more years, going out on top with ratings higher than ever.

 

[TheDeadBobby]

I could see this all happening, but with the oil drum containing JR slipping off its boat and falling into the open sea, one end bursting open, revealing a wounded and thirsty JR stubbornly clinging to life.

He’d use the drum as a makeshift boat and start spearing fish for food, gradually regaining his strength and plotting his revenge on Gary.

Eventually he’d wash ashore on an island in the South Pacific, where he’d be welcomed as a seafaring hero. He’d help develop the fledgling oil industry there (much like Jock and Punk were doing in South America) and eventually earn enough money to return to Southfork where, having undergone such a physical ordeal, he’d be thin and weathered enough to look virtually identical to an older version of the first Gary, which would confuse the Donna Reed version of Miss Ellie, which is not surprising because pretty much everything confused her.

JR/Gary 1 would track Gary 1/Gary 2/JR/Clint/Evel down in Switzerland, where they’d mend their fences and form an ABBA-like musical supergroup with Ray and Jenna and Afton, who’d all moved to Europe earlier, with occasional special guest appearances by Garnet McGee (a whining Charlie would be prohibited from participating as punishment for making out with a Swiss Brad Pitt lookalike in a Alpine barn).

They’d eventually return to Southfork to sing at the fairytale wedding of Lucy and her onetime kidnapper Willie Gust, who’d reformed himself into an upstanding citizen after 5 years in prison.

The Ewings would all live happily ever after, with the show lasting 23 more years, going out on top with ratings higher than ever. :coffeelaugh:

Gee! That's even better!! Why didn't Lorimar or the writing team think of something like that?? ? Do you know how much money would be in 23 more years of Dallas???? :eck::eck::eck:



well! ..... it would be a lot!

 

[DallasFanForever]

(a whining Charlie would be prohibited from participating as punishment for making out with a Swiss Brad Pitt lookalike in a Alpine barn).

Perhaps the greatest sentence ever typed in forum history