• A little forum update...We're planning an upgrade.

    Find out more about what's planned and how you can help support the forum

    Click here for the details

Dallas Couples JR & Sue Ellen - Swoonalicious Appreciation Thread

CeeCee72

CeeCee72

Telly Talk Star
Remember too that we don't really know much about the early days of their relationship and marriage. It's possible that they were very happy for a time and JR gradually turned into an asshat.

Sue Ellen also had an addictive personality. I have always said that alcohol was a poor substitute for her real drug of choice - JR. Whatever hold he had over her, it was deep and suffocating.

As for JR, his love for Sue Ellen is a lot easier to understand. She was the only person who loved him despite all his sins and faults. He loved her because she loved him.
 
Miss Texas 1967

Miss Texas 1967

Telly Talk Addict
From what we saw + what was described to us their happy times were very happy times, times Sue Ellen probably convinced herself would always be that way because firstly it should be in a healthy relationship and secondly because JR was a sweet talker and could convince her things were going to be wonderful from that point forward. Miss Ellie once said JR mistreated Sue Ellen from the moment he brought her home, but we also know that she had other options available to her before JR and probably when she was with him too, so she obviously saw something in him that she wanted. Women like to think we can change a man's bad attributes, and with JR making promises over and over maybe it felt like that to her. Like @CeeCee72 said too, addictive personality at work. JR like alcohol could be absolutely awful for her but until she worked on herself and broke the mental and physical chain of returning and relapsing then it was always going to continue.

JR had issues of his own, ones that ultimately meant he didn't respect those he loved enough to treat them the way they should be. Even with Jock and John Ross who he put on a pedestal at times, he could do things to them that went against what was good for the person or the situation.

Also, Sue Ellen probably became trapped in an abuse cycle fairly quickly, she likely didn't realise how bad her marriage was until Bobby married Pam and they were happy together in spite of the hardships they were faced with right from the moment they arrived at Southfork. Obviously that marriage wasn't perfect either but to someone like Sue Ellen I can see why she might be bitter and upset.
 
Last edited:
D

DallasFanForever

Telly Talk Supreme
Sarah I gotta say you ask some tough questions sometimes, but I like that. Why did she love him so much? Hmmm, hard to answer for a variety of reasons. Firstly, we weren’t around for their early years together. Secondly, people fall in love for so many different reasons, some of them even illogical. But putting myself in Sue Ellen’s shoes for a minute, she meets J.R. He’s charming, he’s handsome, he’s successful, he does show a sensitive side when he wants. He’s funny, he’s witty, he’s driven, and despite his faults that we see later on he does love his family. Even though his last name is Ewing and she knows he’s loaded and will run the family business someday, not to mention that her mother is pushing her with both arms towards him. none of that is really that important to her because she knows based on his personality alone he’s going to be successful no matter what he does in life.
So I definitely can see how she fell in love with him. And despite the cheating and the manipulating that he put her through later, she always remembered how good he was to her in those early years, and deep down she hoped that their marriage could return to those days. So despite her disappointment in him, she never stopped loving him cause she remembered how good things were in the beginning and wished they could get there again. She held onto that through all their problems. That’s just the way I see it.
 
Miss Texas 1967

Miss Texas 1967

Telly Talk Addict
Ukdallasfan said:
So, what did he see in her? Sue Ellen often referred to her looks but what marked her out from all the good looking women he would have met.
Click to expand...
That speech JR gave Mandy + the talk in New Beginnings before Kristin calls with news of Christopher's birth come to mind. He talks about how there was a connection before they even met. You're falling for a fantasy at that point, you don't know anything about the other person other than what you can imagine however I believe there was probably some unspoken attraction that was there from the beginning.
I also think there was an element of Sue Ellen was Miss Texas, so status symbol, then she was shy and sweet like Patricia had taught her to be, so good socially like Jock and Miss Ellie would be wanting, and if she and JR were so head over heels attracted to each other then it would feel like love at first sight.
Later on, after the initial period of dating someone that you feel is a real catch, that you can't keep your eyes and hands off, I think they related to each other on an emotional level too. Sue Ellen always tried to be there for JR, to support him emotionally, he turned her down one too many times before she changed tack and started to push back on his resistance, then cheating with Cliff, Clint etc.
I think JR was his own worst enemy sometimes, he didn't let himself accept what was right in front of him and it ruined not only his life but those around him too.
 
K

Karin

Moderator
Staff Member
You know Sarah your question makes me think of the Bonnie Tyler song "Loving You's a dirty job but somebody's gotta do it!".
I remember I made a JR/SE video to that song some 15 years ago and it still remains one of the longest videos I've ever made!

Anyway if we are to believe what Sue Ellen told JR in the episode where they talked before Kristin called and interrupted them, it seemed like she fell for his eyes first, then his way of talking to her. There was definitely an attraction between them. A sexual vibe. She wanted to be with him and since she had been raised to be a good catholic girl she had to wait until they were married.

Then as the years went by. I seem to recall that Sue Ellen said that she felt most attracted to JR when he was vulnerable. When he was like a little lost boy it brought out the side in her that wanted to comfort him and protect him. I think there's some truth to that, after all it was after JR was shot that Sue Ellen and JR first found their way back to each other. Then after they were divorced she was drawn back to him after Jock died.

Yet another side about JR that she loved was that he was a great father to John Ross. Seeing him with their son also made her fall for him again.

So simply put, Sue Ellen loved JR because she knew him better than anyone else and she saw a side of him that nobody else saw.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ukdallasfan

Ukdallasfan

Telly Talk Fan
On the topic of Kristin, I’ve noticed more this time how JR completely refuses to commit to marrying her even though things between him and Sue Ellen are really bad. It happens time after time in season three. He’s also really annoyed that Sue Ellen has started an affair and is desperate to find out who it is with. There’s only one Shepard sister for JR :)
 
CeeCee72

CeeCee72

Telly Talk Star
One thing I haven't seen anyone mention regarding SE & JR' love for each other...

Sue Ellen once described JR to Clayton as a "lost little boy." And you know what? He was. No offense to Miss Ellie fans, but she really wasn't much of a mother to JR. She even admits letting him go "too soon."

JR needed warmth and nurturing. SE gave it to him, without judgement.

All those women, but he always chased her the most and he never left her...SHE was the one who ended their marriage both times. It's because she gave him something no other woman (including his mother) ever had - emotional warmth and safety.
 
Miss Texas 1967

Miss Texas 1967

Telly Talk Addict
CeeCee72 said:
One thing I haven't seen anyone mention regarding SE & JR' love for each other...

Sue Ellen once described JR to Clayton as a "lost little boy." And you know what? He was. No offense to Miss Ellie fans, but she really wasn't much of a mother to JR. She even admits letting him go "too soon."

JR needed warmth and nurturing. SE gave it to him, without judgement.

All those women, but he always chased her the most and he never left her...SHE was the one who ended their marriage both times. It's because she gave him something no other woman (including his mother) ever had - emotional warmth and safety.
Click to expand...
Sue Ellen empathised too because she'd felt used and cast off by her mother too.
Jock and Miss Ellie messed up in playing favourites and then simply acknowledging their biases without doing anything to correct them :fp:
 
Ukdallasfan

Ukdallasfan

Telly Talk Fan
I’m currently rewatching season four. I’m at episode five which is straight after the one in which Sue Ellen reveals who shot JR and exculpates herself. Now, having watched episode five again, I’m wondering: Sue Ellen and JR have a passionate scene after she berates him about the affair with Kristin and suddenly they’re back together. JR even tells her when he’s bought her a new car that’s it’s to show her how much he loves her. Some may say that the reconciliation was way too quick (let’s face it the stories were very fast moving) but I’m wondering whether there was more to it than that? :)
 
D

DallasFanForever

Telly Talk Supreme
I think there might’ve been a sense of urgency to get them back together at this point because of what was going on at Ewing Oil. Bobby was President, J.R. was out. Pam is standing by Bobby so I think it was only natural to have Sue Ellen do the same. They had mutual interests in protecting John Ross’s birthright as well as what they felt they were entitled to. Their reconciliation does seem kind of rushed here as you said but it made sense. Kristin was shipped off to California in the same episode so everyone needed to move on. And the fight over the company and who the president should be was about to take center stage. That’s the way I always perceived it anyway.
 
Top