JR's most brutal insult

[DallasFanForever]

"I only had one brother and no one can take his place, least of all the two of you."

Maybe the worst thing he ever said yet the way he delivered it actually made it quite funny. Not to mention he was right.

 

[Top Jimmy]

A good one in the later years is when he tells Michelle she can sit in Pam’s chair cause he couldn’t stand her either.

That reminds me, he had a funny retort, when Christopher said that Michelle was "bitchin," and JR replied, "Something like that."

 

[Rove]

There is a scene where Ray and Donna are enjoying lunch with Edgar Randolph and it's the first time JR meets him. JR decides to join them for a few minutes and when he sits down he says, "Well...you must be an old friend of Donna's...arhh Ray here's into cows so I don't think your paths would have crossed."

It's not a brutal insult but an insult it is. It still makes me chuckle.

 

[Guzzler’s Frightening Hair]

it wouldn’t have been the most brutal insult at recess on an elementary school playground, but I thought it was funny when JR called the security guards he’d hired after getting shot “dime store dummies” as he was wheeled out of the hospital

 

[Guzzler’s Frightening Hair]

I also like the one he dished out to Ray one of the first times he ate at the Southfork as a Ewing, something like “you’re probably not used to it, but we use knives and forks here”

 

[DallasFanForever]

There is a scene where Ray and Donna are enjoying lunch with Edgar Randolph and it's the first time JR meets him. JR decides to join them for a few minutes and when he sits down he says, "Well...you must be an old friend of Donna's...arhh Ray here's into cows so I don't think your paths would have crossed."

It's not a brutal insult but an insult it is. It still makes me chuckle.

I think poor Ray was the brunt of some of J.R.’s best insults.

 

[Piggyrella Sanderson]

Great choices from all! You can find some more here:

 

[The Eyes of Laurie Marr]

Another funny bitchslap from JR was his response when Bobby tells him of the reunion with Pam.

“You’re a darn sight dumber than I thought any brother of mine could be………with the exception of Ray and Gary, of course.”

Thereafter JR’s villainous asides increasingly became too knowing and by the end of the series he was almost mugging to the camera.

Crucially, Bobby’s reactions changed too. He developed a weary resignation, as though indulging the eccentric outbursts of a lovable curmudgeon. Long gone are the days when JR coolly advised people of ‘when to be scared” or visited suicide attempt patients with a bouquet of flowers and a promise to destroy their reputation post mortem.

 

[CryptCreeper72]

Not really brutal, but the one that always makes me laugh the hardest.

[to Lucy] Say, why don't you have that junior plastic surgeon you married design you a new face: one without a mouth!

 

[Sea - Boo! - Er]

“You’re a darn sight dumber than I thought any brother of mine could be………with the exception of Ray and Gary, of course.”

And yet inadvertently acknowledging Ray as his brother.

 

[James from London]

I liked "Mama shoulda had her tubes tied together right after I was born", but that was more outrageous than brutal.

 

[Sarah]

I liked the one where Jamie pushed Marilee in the pool and JR said 'Are ya alright honey? Did it go up your nose?'

That sounds more like Larry ad-libbing than it being in the script.

 

[The Eyes of Laurie Marr]

I liked the one where Jamie pushed Marilee in the pool and JR said 'Are ya alright honey? Did it go up your nose?'

That sounds more like Larry ad-libbing than it being in the script.

I agree. That’s one of my all time favourite lines from the show.

 

[Rove]

That sounds more like Larry ad-libbing than it being in the script.

I've always been curious about this. Over the years has the cast been asked whether Larry (or others) ad-lib? I would imagine once the actors became comfortable with their characters and they had received their scripts the ad-libbing either came out in readings or the actor would pencil in their own take and present it to the writers.

Anyway back to JR's stinging barbs...

 

[The Eyes of Laurie Marr]

JR: ….He bit me!
Sue Ellen: How did he bite you, JR?
JR: With his teeth Sue Ellen, how the hell do you think he bit me?!

 

[Justine]

Not really an insult but the scene in Call Girl where he practically throws Sue Ellen in front of the mirror and tells her that her baby is the only thing standing between her and the gutter always feels brutal to me.

 

[The Eyes of Laurie Marr]

His frequent tormenting of Lucy about her abandonment by a ‘tramp’ of a mother and a ‘loser’ of a father in the early seasons still strike me as particularly nasty. There’s no chuckling at this point in the character’s evolution. It’s JR at peak sadism, it’s disturbing to watch and Hagman is utterly convincing.

 

[James from London]

I've always been curious about this. Over the years has the cast been asked whether Larry (or others) ad-lib? I would imagine once the actors became comfortable with their characters and they had received their scripts the ad-libbing either came out in readings or the actor would pencil in their own take and present it to the writers.

My guess is the actors, Hagman especially, were sometimes called upon to add some filler dialogue when what's scripted doesn't quite cover what's happening on screen. When we join the Ewings in a restaurant scene and the conversation is already underway, you'll often hear JR rambling on about something or other before the dialogue proper begins. I'd say those kind of lines are ad-libbed. Hagman always seemed very respectful of Uncle Lenny though, so I'm not sure he'd try and "improve" on his dialogue otherwise, but I could be wrong.

His frequent tormenting of Lucy about her abandonment by a ‘tramp’ of a mother and a ‘loser’ of a father in the early seasons still strike me as particularly nasty. There’s no chuckling at this point in the character’s evolution. It’s JR at peak sadism, it’s disturbing to watch and Hagman is utterly convincing.

"You're just like your mother: a scheming, blackmailing little tramp."

the scene in Call Girl where he practically throws Sue Ellen in front of the mirror and tells her that her baby is the only thing standing between her and the gutter always feels brutal to me.

The same episode has a great exchange between JR and Leanne Rees where she gives as good as she gets, but he's still the one who ends up drawing blood:

"All I ever did was sell myself. But you, you'd sell yourself, your family, your friends -- for power. .JR, you're a prize pimp."
"You know, coming from an expert, I consider that a compliment."

 

[Sarah]

Yes I think that Larry would just ad lib whether he was asked to or not but James describes it perfectly.

Ad-libbing is also what got Linda and Larry noticed, when they would do it in the background and the chemistry was picked up and their roles developed from there.

 

[Mustard]

Some of J.R's best insults have a hidden meaning so they are fun to watch.

When J.R. was getting ready to dump the Asian oil leases on the cartel, Vaughn Leland was acting as a broker in the deal. Vaughn was behaving even slimier than usual.

J.R. knew that whoever bought those leases would lose a lot of money. Vaughn approached J.R. and told him, "I took out a large loan and I'm going to buy some of those leases."

J.R's response?

"Vaughn, there is nobody I'd rather have in on this deal than you."

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Vaughn would find out soon enough exactly how brutal an insult that would turn out to be.

And then J.R. was laughing about Vaughn getting his comeuppance, in front of Jock too. Even better when Bobby heavily suspects J.R. as dumping the wells on the cartel, Jock asks J.R. point blank, and J.R. flat out lies with a straight face.