Miss Ellie Seemed To Accept Infidelities.

[Lastkidpicked]

Very insightful posts!

It's interesting to think of Miss Ellie as a product of her time. She knew that men held all the finances back then, which meant they held the power.

Remember that Miss Ellie is quick to admit she didn't marry Jock for love, she married him because he had the money to save Southfork. Jock did turn out to be a good husband, but if he hadn't, there would be very little that Miss Ellie could do about it.

Back in those days, she viewed Sue Ellen's position as similar. Miss Ellie looked at the choice Sue Ellen had: Stay with J.R, even with his faults and infidelities, or leave J.R.
Leaving J.R. would mean Sue Ellen leaving Southfork and leaving her child behind. Miss Ellie knew that J.R. had the power to make sure that John Ross stayed at Southfork, and it would be easy to point this out to Sue Ellen.

So in Miss Ellie's mind, it would be better to put up with infidelity to preserve the current lifestyle than it would be to leave.

Let's hope things have evolved since then, but Miss Ellie was a product of her time, and it showed.

 

[Jock Ewing Fan]

Slightly changing the subject but how would have Dallas been different if Sue Ellen would have married Clayton? Could that have worked and how would it have looked.

It would have been cringeworthy disaster

 

[Jock Ewing Fan]

Remember that Miss Ellie is quick to admit she didn't marry Jock for love, she married him because he had the money to save Southfork. Jock did turn out to be a good husband, but if he hadn't, there would be very little that Miss Ellie could do about it.



Let's hope things have evolved since then, but Miss Ellie was a product of her time, and it showed.

You make good points.
She didn't marry Jock for love.
This doesn't excuse Digger's flaws, or mean that she should have married Digger, but it does give it some context.
Remember when JR mortgaged Southfork in the Asian leases deal?
When Miss Ellie found out, she blurted "Jock I didn't marry you to lose Southfork!'
That quote speaks volumes about her priorities and so-called love.

 

[Mustard]

Not only that, she in a round about way, guilt trip others into accepting it. Let me explain. I just saw the episode where Jenna comes to talk to Miss Ellie about Ray’s affair with that crazy woman. Jenna obviously wasn’t going to take him back, but Miss Ellie gave her some bull about “what walking out on Ray might do to him.” And she told her about Ray’s lack of self esteem and that every deserves a second chance (which is true to a certain extent). She also used the same line she used with Sue Ellen by implying that Jenna couldn’t survive on her own.

I like Miss Ellie, but she really set women back with some of her advice her character would definitely have to be re-worked if it was today.

Miss Ellie is old school Texas landowning class, yet down to Earth and who gets her hands dirty. She's not your modern feminist.

 

[Mustard]

As for her trying to sell Ewing Oil. What was she supposed to do while JR and Bobby acted like they had no sense? How many lives were destroyed because of the battle for Ewing Oil? Even JR and Bobby tried to end the contest after it got out of hand.

Miss Ellie and Pam did the right thing there.

 

[Jimmy Todd]

Miss Ellie is old school Texas landowning class, yet down to Earth and who gets her hands dirty. She's not your modern feminist.

Miss Ellie also came from a time when divorce was much less common. Also, O suspect, given the mores of the time, that she would be more imclned to forgive a man's infidelities than a woman's. At least a little bit.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

How many women actually love the men they marry? Isn't a collection of resources, then and now, a main reason for relationships -- resources and status, or potential status?

Even today, when far more women have their own careers and their own money, there is still a rigid resistance to "date/marry down" with a guy whose income is not above hers; hence, many women have priced themselves out of relationships because of the preponderance of "low quality men."

At least, Ellie seemed believably bereft when Jock died, suggesting she had some genuine feeling for him, perhaps from the beginning, which may have been loving if not love-at-first-sight, as it were.

Again, how many relationships are really about love? But we're never supposed to talk about female predation.

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

Of course Miss Ellie loved Jock very much. They had their arguments as most married couples do but their love for each other always endured.

Indeed we see how much Miss Ellie did love him when she has to deal with his death. She breaks down in tears and breaks quite a few dishes in the kitchen at Southfork when she finally realises that he's not coming back.

 

[ArchieLucasCarringtonEwing1989]

One of the few times she showed any affection for JR was in season 9 (DVD) she overheard him talking about leaving Dallas with John Ross for good and she looked completely horrified and upset at the thought of losing JR so soon after Bobby’s death.

I think she loved JR but he was his fathers son, he was much closer to Jock than he ever was to Miss Ellie hence why I feel she went overboard favouring Bobby and Gary because she “lost” a son to Jock completely.

 

[Billy Wall]

One of the few times she showed any affection for JR was in season 9 (DVD) she overheard him talking about leaving Dallas with John Ross for good and she looked completely horrified and upset at the thought of losing JR so soon after Bobby’s death.

I think she loved JR but he was his fathers son, he was much closer to Jock than he ever was to Miss Ellie hence why I feel she went overboard favouring Bobby and Gary because she “lost” a son to Jock completely.

Some of you must know that JR was not the easiest person to love. Sue Ellen did everything in her power to make JR love her and it wasn’t good enough. And let’s put it on the table. JR was not a nice man. The only man he respected and feared, Jock, JR had no problems lying right to his face when Jock asked him about the Asian oil leases.

Miss Ellie did love JR, but she might not have liked him all that much. I think it’s safe to say that she wasn’t the only one.

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

Some of you must know that JR was not the easiest person to love. Sue Ellen did everything in her power to make JR love her and it wasn’t good enough. And let’s put it on the table. JR was not a nice man. The only man he respected and feared, Jock, JR had no problems lying right to his face when Jock asked him about the Asian oil leases.

Miss Ellie did love JR, but she might not have liked him all that much. I think it’s safe to say that she wasn’t the only one.

Yeah that's true.

Miss Ellie was probably one of the few who could see right through JR!

I'm guessing here but I think Miss Ellie could see a lot of Jock in JR when Jock was a lot younger.

JR was really a chip off Jock Ewing's block. Although in fairness to Jock he did at least say that although he taught JR all he knew in business he never taught him when to stop.

 

[Jock Ewing Fan]

Miss Ellie and Pam did the right thing there.

Respectfully, I don't agree.

All Pam cared about was her whiny self centered world.
She blamed Bobby for Rebecca's fate, when Bobby had nothing to do with it.
Marriage is supposed to be for better or worse, not just when all is calm and bright.
She could have disagreed, but not directly interfered and made it worse.

I guess Miss Ellie could justify selling Ewing Oil and declaring Jock incompetent! since she only married Jock to save Southfork,
and was JR the son of Jock or Digger?

JR and Bobby were right.
The battle was between them.

When JR remarked that Miss Ellie wanted to give half the inheritance to a drunk and a cowboy,
notice Bobby did not disagree.

 

[Billy Wall]

Respectfully, I don't agree.

All Pam cared about was her whiny self centered world.
She blamed Bobby for Rebecca's fate, when Bobby had nothing to do with it.
Marriage is supposed to be for better or worse, not just when all is calm and bright.
She could have disagreed, but not directly interfered and made it worse.

I guess Miss Ellie could justify selling Ewing Oil and declaring Jock incompetent! since she only married Jock to save Southfork,
and was JR the son of Jock or Digger?

JR and Bobby were right.
The battle was between them.

When JR remarked that Miss Ellie wanted to give half the inheritance to a drunk and a cowboy,
notice Bobby did not disagree.

I agree with you about Pam. Instead of blaming Bobby, she should have blamed her brother for dragging their mom into his obsession with the Ewing’s which caused he death.

But I don’t agree that the fight for Ewing Oil was just between JR and Bobby. Didn’t Miss Ellie have the most shares? Since they were all shareholders, everyone of them had a stake in it.

 

[Mustard]

Respectfully, I don't agree.

All Pam cared about was her whiny self centered world.
She blamed Bobby for Rebecca's fate, when Bobby had nothing to do with it.

Trying to break Jock's will came before Rebecca's fate. It was obvious that disasters were coming if that battle went ahead.

Marriage is supposed to be for better or worse, not just when all is calm and bright.
She could have disagreed, but not directly interfered and made it worse.

Just nod along like an obedient wife, you mean?

I guess Miss Ellie could justify selling Ewing Oil and declaring Jock incompetent! since she only married Jock to save Southfork,
and was JR the son of Jock or Digger?

There's nothing in Dallas to say that J.R. was anyone's son but Jock's and Miss Ellie's.

JR and Bobby were right.
The battle was between them.

Even J.R. was disagreeing with that later on, about whether any of it had been worth it. Tne consequences were disastrous, most of all for Mickey Trotter. J.R.'s scheme of playing the "man of the people" and using cheap gas to get quick fast profits saw him threatened by powerful people in the oil industry, and Bobby acting his worst.

When JR remarked that Miss Ellie wanted to give half the inheritance to a drunk and a cowboy,
notice Bobby did not disagree.

I noticed. It was a disgusting remark.

 

[Mustard]

But I don’t agree that the fight for Ewing Oil was just between JR and Bobby. Didn’t Miss Ellie have the most shares? Since they were all shareholders, everyone of them had a stake in it.

The previous arrangement of voting shares, since Jock went to South America, ceased to be after Jock's will was read and the battle for Ewing Oil commenced. That voting shares arrangement was only temporary and Harv Smithfield had been the most keen to get Jock's will read. The dynamics of everything started to change after Jock's will was read.

 

[DallasFanForever]

I always looked at it like this. J.R. and Bobby didn’t intentionally set out to destroy lives but a lot of what happened in the war they were responsible for to a certain extent, even if you want to say indirectly. Miss Ellie and Pam were trying to stop the bloodshed and no one else would listen to them. Rebecca didn’t have to get involved. She did on her son’s behalf, so Cliff’s obsession with the Ewings ended up tying into that war perfectly. Are Cliff, Bobby or J.R. directly responsible for her death? No, but the actions of all of them during the war certainly contributed to it; and I can’t blame Pam for feeling her mother had indeed been a casualty. Mickey ended up being a casualty as well, as did Walt. As Bobby, J.R. and Ray decided in their meeting shortly thereafter, “We all have blood on our hands.”

 

[CeeCee72]

Ellie always had what I call "convenient morality." She was high and mighty about the moral behavior of everyone except her family - and even then, only when their bad behavior directly affected HER.

Was she accepting of infidelity? Yes. JR cheated on Sue Ellen repeatedly and everyone knew it. The set up of the Winds of War in the very beginning was a revenge plot against JR because of his cheating. Ellie only got onto JR about how he treated his wife when Sue Ellen's drinking became an annoyance and embarrassment to HER.

She counseled Jenna to overlook Ray's cheating. She accepted Jock's bastard son because she had no choice and didn't want a scandal.

But as soon as she thought Jock and Clayton were cheating with Julie and Laurel respectively, she got all high and mighty.

So Ellie accepted infidelity in the same way she accepted everything else - it's a-ok as long as it doesn't affect HER.

 

[Snowcat]

I was never a fan of Miss Ellie. I always thought that she was happy to live the life of wealth and privilege, while chastising Jock and JR for their
methods of achieving it.
Her abandonment of JR emotionally, favoring of Gary and Bobby, and letting Jock teach JR the best and worst of the Oil business created the man that JR became.
She had to know that JR was cheating on Sue Elle, yet continued to enable..

She didn't seem to respect Jock's memory - trying to sell Ewing Oil(at least twice), trying to have Jock declared incompetent, marrying Clayton (a sworn enemy of JR, a man who tried to take JR's wife and son), giving half of Southfork to Clayton, etc.

She was a self-entitled hypocrite. Not to mention she married Jock to save Southfork, not for love, and ...is it possible that Digger was JR's biological father?

Yes, the very last thing you said has always bothered me

 

[Snowcat]

It would have been cringeworthy disaster

I wish that was part of the dream season

 

[Snowcat]

Miss Ellie was not perfect. But JR was an adult. She can call out Jock and Clayton because they were her husbands. She was going to take someone being unfaithful to her. Yes, she forgave Jock for his fling with Rays mother. But we don’t know what her initial reaction was. It probably took a while for her to get there. I don’t agree with her decision to overt Jocks will but I understand it. I was very upset when she gave Clayton half of Southfork. She should have talked to JR & Bobby first. Southfork was their inheritance. She also acted as though she just expected them to accept someone else talking their beloved daddy’s place