Season 13

Laurie Marr

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Call me a masochist, but I skipped ahead in my beautifully HD rendered Apple TV Dallas Boxed Set. I remember at the time that it started well, but that may have been judging from what was a low bar. Was it? So I checked out the first few episodes.

As if losing some of the main cast wasn't enough to strip away the show's already depleted identity, we also now have no Southfork or Dallas location shots (that weird Californian ranch pops up that is hilariously surrounded by rolling hills); the three way spit is gone; the freeze frame is gone; the titles begin like a cheap video game. Not an encouraging start.

To make up for the looming absence of Southfork and any image of Dallas in a show called Dallas, we have dozens of location shots on rigs. Good try, but it makes the absence more stark

The pacing is weird. Tommy MacKay comes back, is obligingly crazy, shoves a man to his death on an LA street, and comissions a briefcase with a bomb only to end up shooting himself. All of that in the space of three episodes - and his death comes in the middle of an episode! It just looks sloppy, even if some of the individual performances are fine.

This carelessness is evident in other things, not least the lazy redressing of sets. JR's old office from JRE pops up as Cally's new downtown art studio, although they had at least gone to the trouble of painting those sunburst office doors. Most comical of all, is Marilee trying to seduce JR in what we are made to think is her pool even though it has exactly the same tiles as the Sothfork pool and faces onto what is clearly the Southfork terrace that has been draped with curtains.

The actors soldier on. JR produces nothing more than an eye rolling sigh from Bobby who is now well on his way to becoming the super smug bore that we encounter in the TNT series. Hagman looks tired. Kercheval isn't funny any more. A Cliff shorn of his histrionics just isn't as much fun to watch.

Then there is the arrival of James Beamont. I was struck by how handsome the actor was, but I also know his appearance means that the absurd Vanessa-JR brief encounter style stuff is imminent. So there is where I will stop.

Good points? The introduction of Michelle livens things up. She would have been fantastic had she appeared at a time when the show was in the hands of people who actually cared about it.

Oh, and Miss Ellie and her Angela Lansbury cosplay turn was just as tiresome this time around.
 

Monzo

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I feel that if Kimberly Foster—sporting the exact same look she had on Dallas—had joined hit shows of that era like L.A. Law or Twin Peaks, she would have become a star; unfortunately, by season 13 of Dallas, that just wasn't in the cards. What I liked about Michelle was that she didn't turn into the evil sister—like we saw with Kristin and Katherine—but instead went her own way. The last two seasons would likely have been even harder to watch without Michelle.

It was a good move to bring Marilee back after a hiatus of more than a season, but nothing really came of it. At least she got to stay alive—unlike poor Jordan Lee.

I found Miss Ellie’s first mystery far less interesting than the second one involving Lady Jessica. Regarding the first mystery, I question the point of it. None of the Goldmans came to Dallas; why wasn't there a nice young man among them who could have served as a love interest for the underused Lucy? The storyline seemed to exist solely to further glorify Jock's reputation.

Oddly enough, what bothered me most about season 13's casting was Leslie Bevis as Diana Farrington. It had always been important for Dallas that J.R. have particularly attractive mistresses, but she simply lacked any charisma whatsoever.
 
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Snarky Oracle!

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Lady Jessica's murder spree should have lasted most of the season, and played straight like a horror movie, Miz Montford knocking off members of the cartel (who were mostly gone anyway) she'd been blackmailing for 40 years over their alleged parentage of Dusty. (Not Clayton's business partners we didn't know). Like Kristin had done with Jordan Lee.

Yes, the new theme design -- yet with old shots of Dallas from the previous theme design -- looked amateurish and tacky, like something some kid would later make and place on YouTube.

It's no wonder DALLAS had dropped to 61st place in the ratings. Larry Hagman laughed that "CBS is still hot for us" despite the bargain basement numbers, the network still renewing the show two seasons at a time (as they'd been doing since "Who Shot JR?").

It's a shame Katzman couldn't get Paulsen back, as it sounds like he tried.

Subjectively perhaps, I'd like Lucy and Afton to buy out and run the Oil Baron's Club, and for Miss Ellie to take over The Roy Ralston Show (once the bastard finally goes national) as David Jacobs suggested for the later DALLAS theatrical movie that never happened, where Ellie offers sage advice, downhome recipes, and begins horrifying the cartel -- before they're all murdered by Jessica -- with the Ewing matriarch's liberal commentary about Texas oil practices' impact on the environment. Leading JR to attempt sabotaging her show, which winds up putting Miss Ellie in the hospital near the end of the year where, believing she's on her deathbed, she confesses to Clayton that she thinks JR may have been sired by Digger Barnes (a revelation which a drunken Farlow soon barks out at JR in the Southfork living room).

It could have been the best year since Wes Parmalee and Season 10.

Thanks a lot, Howard Lakin. :fist:

OIP.rwxRnAW8VawtuwsYW1FMQQHaE7
 
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Taylor Bennett Jr.

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the redone opening credits were just embarrassingly amateurish. As bad as things got with the rest of the show, they might as well have just kept the “theme music with still shot on the backbeats” motif for the entire hour. Tell a full story that way, like a flip book from the depths of hell… How long would it take before people started calling their local stations? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? If nothing else it would have gotten people talking about Dallas for the first time in years..
 
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