The psychology of JR Ewing

[Mustard]

I honestly think the reason I struggle so much to understand JR's character is because I was so young during the show's original run. My most vivid memories of him are from season 8 (DVD) onward. He was softer then.

Doing my first complete rewatch (currently on season 6) and it's rather shocking how purely evil that man was.

I actually sided with J.R. more than Bobby during Season 6 DVD, during the Battle for Ewing Oil. A genius scheme for cheap gas for quick profits while playing "man of the people", getting a variance from Walt Driscoll (via blackmail) to pump out more oil for himself but not for Bobby, talking business with Cuba, and annoying all the Texas oil community with his variance. J.R. was playing the game and was winning, while Bobby started resorting to traditional J.R. methods like setting up blackmail.

(I always thought it was funny that though Jock liked to lecture JR about subtlety, seconds after sitting down at the table he just blurts right out something like "I heard your wife caught you in the kip with Jenna Wade!")

Jock meant subtlety when it came to business, not in their personal lives. J.R.'s lack of subtlety in business, as Jock remarked, turned competitors into enemies and enemies into fanatics. Of course, Jock himself didn't always do this properly, like with Tom Owens from The Dove Hunt episode.

 

[Billy Wall]

Even in his personal life, J.R. has reduced things to "business" and wants control. Jock didn't have that problem anywhere near as much, and Miss Ellie is extremely proud and independent anyway. Why did J.R. get with Sue Ellen initially, I wonder? They do sometimes have a sizzling chemistry, but J.R. wants control of what goes on, and oil, business and power is the most important thing to him, never merely women for the sake of women. It bothers Sue Ellen that J.R. cares most about business, especially when he's too busy for her or simply not in any mood.

Good post, but I want to touch on a few things you said. How do we know Jock wasn’t as much as a control freak as JR and I wouldn’t exactly call Miss Ellie independent. She lived off of Jock’s fortune and she strongly implied on numerous occasions that a woman can’t make it on their own without a man. She even said that “a ranch should be run by a man.”

As for JR getting with Sue Ellen initially? Sue Ellen was Miss Texas and was JR’s trophy wife. The crown prince of Ewing Oil marrying the prettiest women in Texas was a match made in heaven.

 

[Billy Wall]

I actually sided with J.R. more than Bobby during Season 6 DVD, during the Battle for Ewing Oil. A genius scheme for cheap gas for quick profits while playing "man of the people", getting a variance from Walt Driscoll (via blackmail) to pump out more oil for himself but not for Bobby, talking business with Cuba, and annoying all the Texas oil community with his variance. J.R. was playing the game and was winning, while Bobby started resorting to traditional J.R. methods like setting up blackmail.

JR dealing with an embargoed country topped anything crooked Bobby did.

 

[Mustard]

Good post, but I want to touch on a few things you said. How do we know Jock wasn’t as much as a control freak as JR and I wouldn’t exactly call Miss Ellie independent. She lived off of Jock’s fortune and she strongly implied on numerous occasions that a woman can’t make it on their own without a man. She even said that “a ranch should be run by a man.”

I think Jock comes across as nowhere near as much of a control freak as J.R. Jock pursued Miss Ellie back in the 1930s when she was with Digger, and he didn't have to bail out Southfork from the crisis it was in under Miss Ellie's father Aaron Southworth. Miss Ellie's view of her life is as a rancher's daughter, living at Southfork, whether with her father as the owner or her husband. I think Jock liked Miss Ellie having her own way of doing things as well. He liked individual initiative. Jock himself grew to like ranching later, having not liked it so much when he was younger.

As for JR getting with Sue Ellen initially? Sue Ellen was Miss Texas and was JR’s trophy wife. The crown prince of Ewing Oil marrying the prettiest women in Texas was a match made in heaven.

That's all a bit like a traditional arranged marriage between a future king with some rich person's daughter with a title. Very business like. It's a long way away from Bobby and Pam (Romeo and Juliet) or Gary and Valene (truest love of all, probably).

 

[Mustard]

JR dealing with an embargoed country topped anything crooked Bobby did.

It was genius writing and storytelling. And what a buzz. Risk something like $100 million on an illegal shipment. Succeed and you get the profits, fail and you're in for a long spell in jail. And the irony is that Bobby and Ray's interference set off a catastrophic chain of events, especially for poor Mickey Trotter. J.R. Ewing is so selfish in caring about his personal individual business interests and Ewing Oil/Southfork's standing, that he would do business with Fidel Castro's Cuba and see all the capitalists he doesn't need go bust. This goes even beyond Donald Trump, in my opinion.

 

[Jimmy Todd]

I think Jock comes across as nowhere near as much of a control freak as J.R. Jock pursued Miss Ellie back in the 1930s when she was with Digger, and he didn't have to bail out Southfork from the crisis it was in under Miss Ellie's father Aaron Southworth. Miss Ellie's view of her life is as a rancher's daughter, living at Southfork, whether with her father as the owner or her husband. I think Jock liked Miss Ellie having her own way of doing things as well. He liked individual initiative. Jock himself grew to like ranching later, having not liked it so much when he was younger.


That's all a bit like a traditional arranged marriage between a future king with some rich person's daughter with a title. Very business like. It's a long way away from Bobby and Pam (Romeo and Juliet) or Gary and Valene (truest love of all, probably).

There was a scene in early Dallas on which Sue Ellen reminded JR that she wouldn't let.him go to bed with her until after they were married. I'm sure this heightened her appeal on his eyes.

 

[CeeCee72]

Really? We're clearly shown why J.R. Ewing is the way he is. First, J.R. is the oldest of Jock Ewing's children. Jock took him out to the oil fields when he was a small child and J.R. felt right at home, but his daddy then went off to fight in WW2 and J.R. waited years for his return so he could learn more, which he did, and was taught how to be utterly ruthless in business. Jock said that he didn't teach J.R. the other side of it (i.e. when to stop) while Miss Ellie said that she had let J.R. go too soon, meaning not staying around him more with the kindness stuff. Also, Gary became a father before J.R. and had his very outsider's independent way of thinking, while Bobby was the most spoiled of the siblings and therefore had a better and less flawed personality (albeit with a short temper), so this feeds into J.R.'s insecurities.

Oh yes, it's very easy to see how J.R. Ewing became what he was. He wants to be the most ruthless, the biggest winner, the most vicious and successful of all of them, and rub their noses in it, either subtlely or with humiliation. Even in his personal life, J.R. has reduced things to "business" and wants control. Jock didn't have that problem anywhere near as much, and Miss Ellie is extremely proud and independent anyway. Why did J.R. get with Sue Ellen initially, I wonder? They do sometimes have a sizzling chemistry, but J.R. wants control of what goes on, and oil, business and power is the most important thing to him, never merely women for the sake of women. It bothers Sue Ellen that J.R. cares most about business, especially when he's too busy for her or simply not in any mood.

While I agree it's easy to see how he became such a ruthless, cutthroat businessman, it's less clear why he had so much disdain for his own family and the people closest to him.

It's not that I don't understand JR's behavior. Of course I do. It's that I don't understand his personal relationships.

For instance,if we accept that is MAIN focus in life was to please his father, why the reluctance to have a child with Sue Ellen. We are led to believe he had no desire for her sexually in the early seasons, but she was a perfect society wife and Jock would have been happy and pleased if JR had produced an heir for him. The easiest way in the world for him to be Jock's favorite would have been for him just to bite the bullet and knock Sue Ellen up. So why didn't he?

Also, the mortgaging of Southfork. It's like he didn't even consider what would happen in his plan fell through and his parents found out. He knew how furious Jock would be, but he did it anyway.

Yes. We know Jock and Ellie screwed him up. Nut I honestly think there was a personality disorder at play as well

 

[CeeCee72]

There was a scene in early Dallas on which Sue Ellen reminded JR that she wouldn't let.him go to bed with her until after they were married. I'm sure this heightened her appeal on his eyes.

The chase.

Sue Ellen had an early understanding it seems of JR's need to chase. All throughout their relationship, he only really wanted her when she refused to let him have her.

She even told Cally that the best way to get JR to want her was to make him work for it.

 

[Billy Wall]

While I agree it's easy to see how he became such a ruthless, cutthroat businessman, it's less clear why he had so much disdain for his own family and the people closest to him.

When you’ve done the most and don’t get none of the credit and see yourself taking a backseat to others that haven’t done as much, it can take you to dark places.

 

[Mustard]

While I agree it's easy to see how he became such a ruthless, cutthroat businessman, it's less clear why he had so much disdain for his own family and the people closest to him.

It's not that I don't understand JR's behavior. Of course I do. It's that I don't understand his personal relationships.

For instance,if we accept that is MAIN focus in life was to please his father, why the reluctance to have a child with Sue Ellen.

Because J.R. believes that business and profit for Ewing Oil is what matters and is the real success above everything else. Capitalism at its root reduces everything to profit, even family relationships, and J.R. has done that even in his relationship with Sue Ellen. Jock didn't tell J.R. when to stop and enjoy the simpler things in life the way they should be enjoyed. Of course, J.R.'s time is a different time as well compared to when Jock was at his height of power at Ewing Oil. The business has become bigger since earlier times, even more ruthless and cut-throat, and even higher sums of money involved.

We are led to believe he had no desire for her sexually in the early seasons, but she was a perfect society wife and Jock would have been happy and pleased if JR had produced an heir for him. The easiest way in the world for him to be Jock's favorite would have been for him just to bite the bullet and knock Sue Ellen up. So why didn't he?

He was too into the Ewing Oil business and not enough into his wife. And Sue Ellen pleading with him about the state of their sex life just turns J.R. off even more. I got the impression that he hadn't been quite as bad earlier in their marriage, but it had largely fizzled out as he took over at Ewing Oil from Jock, and J.R. obviously then feels intense pressure to prove himself, to himself, to Jock, and to the wider oil community. This was, after all, what J.R. had been waiting for since he was a toddler, the day when he was to be the main man at Ewing Oil.

Also, the mortgaging of Southfork. It's like he didn't even consider what would happen in his plan fell through and his parents found out. He knew how furious Jock would be, but he did it anyway.

Yes. We know Jock and Ellie screwed him up. Nut I honestly think there was a personality disorder at play as well

Yes. J.R. didn't want to do it of course, and asked Vaughn Leland if anything else could be used as collateral rather than Southfork. When Vaughn insisted that it had to be Southfork, J.R. decided to take the plunge rather than back out, but he remembered Vaughn's strong arming, and didn't feel the tinniest bit sorry when Vaughn lost big on those Asian oil fields that J.R. had offloaded and which were then nationalized.

At root, J.R. is about profit, power and status for Ewing Oil. It's business. His family relations have been reduced to that in his mind, and his parents didn't do enough to teach him different.

Watch The Godfather films for such examples as well. Why did Michael Corleone in Part II kill his brother Fredo, hurt his brother Tom emotionally, wipe out enemies that were already on the run and basically finished? It's business. There's no room for sentiment in business, is the attitude. Of course, this way of thinking horrifies most of humanity, but it's how the capitalist system works at the very top.

 

[Mustard]

When you’ve done the most and don’t get none of the credit and see yourself taking a backseat to others that haven’t done as much, it can take you to dark places.

Yes. J.R. sees that Bobby was spoiled, that Bobby had far better experiences of their parents growing up than J.R. did. So in the early episodes. when Bobby wants to stop "spreading the Bs" and become an executive at Ewing Oil, J.R. is guarded and somewhat resentful when Bobby starts wanting to see secret files and asks how J.R. gets others to vote along with him on important votes. J.R. said to Bobby "while you were out there spreading the Bs, playing football etc, I was at Ewing Oil under our father learning and making the company grow, and while I'm in charge at Ewing Oil there are certain things that I do alone and that's the way it's going to stay". J.R. then said to Bobby "Does that answer your question?", and Bobby replied "Oh yeah, it answered a few that I didn't even ask", as J.R. smiled.

 

[Mustard]

In Season 4 DVD, when Bobby takes over at Ewing Oil for a time after J.R. was shot, Bobby himself starts getting sucked into that world, the need for ruthlessness when other people in the oil business prefer to do business with J.R. than Bobby, and Bobby's resentment of that, and Bobby starts neglecting Pam for a time. Bobby loves Pam, yet he has periods of neglecting her for business. Later on, it's even worse in Season 6 DVD with the Battle for Ewing Oil. Even Bobby, the upstanding, kinder hearted brother, can be sucked into the J.R. mentality.

 

[CeeCee72]

In Season 4 DVD, when Bobby takes over at Ewing Oil for a time after J.R. was shot, Bobby himself starts getting sucked into that world, the need for ruthlessness when other people in the oil business prefer to do business with J.R. than Bobby, and Bobby's resentment of that, and Bobby starts neglecting Pam for a time. Bobby loves Pam, yet he has periods of neglecting her for business. Later on, it's even worse in Season 6 DVD with the Battle for Ewing Oil. Even Bobby, the upstanding, kinder hearted brother, can be sucked into the J.R. mentality.

In many ways, Bobby was every bit as flawed as JR. Except he never cheated on his wife or swindled his family.

 

[Billy Wall]

In many ways, Bobby was every bit as flawed as JR. Except he never cheated on his wife or swindled his family.

After many re-watches, I’ve discovered that Bobby was very self-centered and an elitist.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

For certain people like JR, "love" is all about whether they can control or manipulate you. Nothing else. And then if they can, then they don't respect you for it.

Try to navigate that toxic jungle.

In many ways, Bobby was every bit as flawed as JR. Except he never cheated on his wife or swindled his family.

Which does make a difference. If you have a "self-centered and elitist" family member, it's easier if they don't cheat or swindle you.

 

[Jock Ewing Fan]

Good Topic,
Here is my (admittedly amateur)analysis:

A child is born to a mother who married for economic reasons to save her ranch.
The Father is an ambitious, successful Alpha Male, a tough man in a tough business.
Both Mother and Father are aware that the child's paternity may be in question

The Mother outwardly favors his two younger brothers, especially the middle son.
The Father favors the youngest son.
The Mother seems to practice a form of neglect by not intervening in
the Father's method of raising the boy, or providing the motherly love
that he needed. Her favoring of the younger boys
is interpreted by the oldest son as a lack of nurturance


The Father drives the oldest son hard, teaches him the Darwinian methods of the Oil Business
The child becomes a teenager, young man, and more mature man, always trying to win the
love and approval of the Father that he worships, but somehow
his efforts always seem to fall short

The actions (or lack of them) by his parents almost seem to be a form of emotional abuse,
and may be so indeed.

As a man, the oldest son has multiple sexual encounters outside his marriage,
perhaps, looking for the love he never received.

As a businessman he grows increasingly manipulative, callous and ruthless.

Did this child become such a man in a vacuum? Of course not.

Can his upbringing explain all of his actions? Of course not.

However, raising a child in such a way that Jock and Miss Ellie did,
sounds like a form of emotional abuse, and they must take
more than an average share of accountability for the man
that JR Ewing became.

 

[Jock's Ghost]

JR had no issues with anyone unless they created problems. His parents emotionally confusdd him. JR was a winner. He had to show his family he was the best. Not Bobby and definitely not Gary or Ray.
Remember was the oldest and as the oldest he tried to help brother Gary, who was by all accounts a drunk and a loser. JR despised that. The family despised it. Yet, miss Ellie still loved Gary and used the phrase, "her favorite," even though Gary abandoned his wife and daughter. JR was confused. All the achievements and he didnt get a notice. Didnt get a defense. Yet Miss Ellie adored Gary.
Jocks favorite was Bobby. He said, "the best of the lot." He would allow bobby to do ad he pleased yet get angry at JR for doing exactly what he taught him. He expected JR succeed and be perfect yet Ray was also given a slide. Cowpoke was something JR despised. So simple. So ordinary.
JR was his own worst enemy. His need to succeed impressed no one really.

 

[Snowcat]

JR had no issues with anyone unless they created problems. His parents emotionally confusdd him. JR was a winner. He had to show his family he was the best. Not Bobby and definitely not Gary or Ray.
Remember was the oldest and as the oldest he tried to help brother Gary, who was by all accounts a drunk and a loser. JR despised that. The family despised it. Yet, miss Ellie still loved Gary and used the phrase, "her favorite," even though Gary abandoned his wife and daughter. JR was confused. All the achievements and he didnt get a notice. Didnt get a defense. Yet Miss Ellie adored Gary.
Jocks favorite was Bobby. He said, "the best of the lot." He would allow bobby to do ad he pleased yet get angry at JR for doing exactly what he taught him. He expected JR succeed and be perfect yet Ray was also given a slide. Cowpoke was something JR despised. So simple. So ordinary.
JR was his own worst enemy. His need to succeed impressed no one really.

I see what you mean. JR told Jock that he was always fighting Bobby’s battles for him

 

[Mustard]

JR had no issues with anyone unless they created problems. His parents emotionally confusdd him. JR was a winner. He had to show his family he was the best. Not Bobby and definitely not Gary or Ray.
Remember was the oldest and as the oldest he tried to help brother Gary, who was by all accounts a drunk and a loser. JR despised that. The family despised it. Yet, miss Ellie still loved Gary and used the phrase, "her favorite," even though Gary abandoned his wife and daughter. JR was confused. All the achievements and he didnt get a notice. Didnt get a defense. Yet Miss Ellie adored Gary.
Jocks favorite was Bobby. He said, "the best of the lot." He would allow bobby to do ad he pleased yet get angry at JR for doing exactly what he taught him. He expected JR succeed and be perfect yet Ray was also given a slide. Cowpoke was something JR despised. So simple. So ordinary.
JR was his own worst enemy. His need to succeed impressed no one really.

Gary was no loser at all, unless it's by default. He didn't play the game to be a loser. He was a free thinker and didn't play their games, and couldn't be bullied into doing otherwise. That scared J.R., because it could potentially be turned against him, so he aims to keep Gary down. J.R. was the main reason for Gary and Val's stay at Southfork ending, again because he feared Gary, who had produced the first Ewing heir. Gary's first instinct was to be kind, J.R. the exact opposite "do unto others before they do unto you". Bobby played the games, Gary wasn't interested in them. Miss Ellie once said "Bobby was given everything that J.R. had to fight for and Gary didn't care about".

 

[Jock's Ghost]

Gary was no loser at all, unless it's by default. He didn't play the game to be a loser. He was a free thinker and didn't play their games, and couldn't be bullied into doing otherwise. That scared J.R., because it could potentially be turned against him, so he aims to keep Gary down. J.R. was the main reason for Gary and Val's stay at Southfork ending, again because he feared Gary, who had produced the first Ewing heir. Gary's first instinct was to be kind, J.R. the exact opposite "do unto others before they do unto you". Bobby played the games, Gary wasn't interested in them. Miss Ellie once said "Bobby was given everything that J.R. had to fight for and Gary didn't care about".

THat's true, but Gary was a loser in the sense he made his father hate him. He caused the family so much grief and abandoned his wife and daughter and he burdened his parents with his daughter. Why didn't he fight for Val and Lucy?.. sorry, that's a loser in my book...