Was Mark Grayson a stalker?

[pete lashmar]

It seems to me that in todays' world Mark Grayson would definitely be seen as a stalker for Pam.

He invited her to a breakfast just so he could see her and chat her up, then, knowing full well that she was married kept turning up at her gym and other places with flowers and gifts.

Then, when she moved into the hotel he turns up on a daily basis, pushing and pressing her for more.

Then, he flies her off to France for her to be alone and then again keeps turning up and pushing for more.

He tells her off for still being concerned about Bobby, he constantly pushes her to make decisions and scorns her for making decisions he doesn't agree with.

So, is this normal behaviour or that of a stalker?

 

[Michelle Stevens]

Certainly a stalker even for 1980's standards. Didn't Alex Ward also stalk Pam a few seasons earlier? In Mark's case, he kinda succeeded which is even more telling.

 

[Richard Channing]

For me Mark is just a guy who has fallen in love and also a guy who's used to getting wants. Yes, she's married, but honestly far worse crimes are committed on Dallas. And obviously he could tell she felt something for him which is why he continued to pursue her. I just don't find anything he did that reprehensible.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

And, let's face it: JR is a rapist.

 

[Bobby Southworth]

Pam only developed feelings for him because he kept pursuing her: a married woman, when her marriage was having problems, and she was vulnerable. Actually, didn't he first start pursuing her before there really were any "real" problems? I never could warm to him because of how his character started out. It's too bad he had to have that introduction because I might have thought he was alright, if not a little dull otherwise, but that wasn't the case. I'm finding I'm enjoying season 8 more with him gone, than I did 7...also no more "Pedur"... but that's a whole different thread. Was Mark a stalker? Kinda.. A creep(at first), no doubt. I mean, yes, he showed up at times unannounced and pursued Pam, but she also would agree to meet him, hardly having a gun held to her head or anything. However, by today's standards, it's hard to answer. It's kinds of a blurred line.

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

Certainly a stalker even for 1980's standards. Didn't Alex Ward also stalk Pam a few seasons earlier? In Mark's case, he kinda succeeded which is even more telling.

Bobby should have taken both of them apart, but I guess that wouldn’t have helped the storyline

 

[Billy Wall]

Yes

 

[Bobby Southworth]

I guess I'm thinking about how Pam didn't seem to really object all that much. Maybe once or twice, but she seemed a little too friendly towards her "stalker" overall, if that's what he was...

 

[DallasFanForever]

I think stalker might be a little harsh. He was definitely a nervy jerk for going after a married woman but I never really saw him as a stalker though. Pam wasn’t exactly begging him to stop.

 

[Michelle Stevens]

I think stalker might be a little harsh. He was definitely a nervy jerk for going after a married woman but I never really saw him as a stalker though. Pam wasn’t exactly begging him to stop.

I agree, "nervy jerk" seems more appropriate. It's not as if he was a psycho or anything. Let's be serious, would a stalker drive a Zimmer?

I guess I'm thinking about how Pam didn't seem to really object all that much. Maybe once or twice, but she seemed a little too friendly towards her "stalker" overall, if that's what he was...

And that, in a way, is even more questionable, that she fell for this. I guess he's wealthy and handsome so it's all good. The real test would have been if someone such as Oswald Valentine had been a "nervy jerk" to her.

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

I agree, "nervy jerk" seems more appropriate. It's not as if he was a psycho or anything. Let's be serious, would a stalker drive a Zimmer?

And that, in a way, is even more questionable, that she fell for this. I guess he's wealthy and handsome so it's all good. The real test would have been if someone such as Oswald Valentine had been a "nervy jerk" to her.

and she was a chance phone call from Bobby away from doing the deed with (let me find a Swami word from the ABC thread)... that lobcock Alex Ward, maybe a month and a half or so into a period of feeling neglected while Bobby was under a ton of pressure as president of Ewing Oil. At least poor little Oswald was kind of amusing!

Even her 'best friend' Jackie Duggan seemed to think risking her fairytale marriage to have an affair with Alex (who, as we all know, was a decidedly crump-backed cully) was a fantastically exciting idea... it just didn't ring true!

 

[Jock Ewing Fan]

I think stalker might be a little harsh. He was definitely a nervy jerk for going after a married woman but I never really saw him as a stalker though. Pam wasn’t exactly begging him to stop.

I tend to agree. Stalker is a bit harsh, more like an intruder from Bobby's point of view.
Pam didn't exactly discourage him, as you noted

 

[Jimmy Todd]

I agree, "nervy jerk" seems more appropriate. It's not as if he was a psycho or anything. Let's be serious, would a stalker drive a Zimmer?

And that, in a way, is even more questionable, that she fell for this. I guess he's wealthy and handsome so it's all good. The real test would have been if someone such as Oswald Valentine had been a "nervy jerk" to her.

Mark would have "pretty privilege." He's handsome and rich, and Pam is basically a very moral person, but she's human after all. She likes the attention of a wealthy, attractive person who picks her out of everyone else. That's going to blind many of us to questionable behavior. Oswald would not be as blinding.
An interesting story that would never get off the ground on most television shows would be if Pam met someone who looked like Oswald and found herself falling in love with him. She knew she was in love when Bobby confronts this person, whose not as obviously strong as him abd says, "I'm going to tear you apart if I ever see you talking to Pam again." Oswald looks him in the eye(he has to look up) and says? "Then you're going to have to because only death can keep me from talking to Pam, certainly not some spoiled, rich guy."
Pam swoons and thinks,"I've been waiting for years to call that bully I married out on his bluff. "

 

[Toni]

Mark was as much a stalker as Bobby when he stole Pam to Ray in that BBQ. Or Jock stole Miss Ellie to poor drunk Digger. Or...

 

[Matthew Blaisdel]

So they could actually rename the whole show into "STALKERS" instead of "DALLAS". If they kept the original font, it wouldn't even stand out too much.

 

[Jimmy Todd]

Probably the majority of romantic comedy movies would be viewed as "stalker-ish" today.

 

[Toni]

Probably the majority of romantic comedy movies would be viewed as "stalker-ish" today.

And this too (poor Kermit):

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

Probably the majority of romantic comedy movies would be viewed as "stalker-ish" today.

yep, the “persistent underdog romantic hero” from a lot of 80s movies would be #metoo-ed into oblivion these days, rightfully so, too

10 Movies that Wither Under the Light of #Metoo

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notably, Sixteen Candles

 

[Barbara Fan]

I never viewed Mark as a stalker

and with hindsight he treated Pam much better than Bobby, who never took her anywhere except to a Cattlemans junket in Vegas and he ran into black sheep brother Gary

he wined and dined her and wanted to whisk her off to far flung parts of the world , go on safari, to Asia etc

 

[Jock Ewing Fan]

Mark was as much a stalker as Bobby when he stole Pam to Ray in that BBQ. Or Jock stole Miss Ellie to poor drunk Digger. Or...

I suppose there are some similarities, but Pam was married to Bobby, while Digger/Ellie and Ray/Pam were not married.
I also think Ellie encouraged Jock to pursue her, in Dallas:Early Years, and I think Pam used Ray

I don't think Mark was a stalker, but I think there was something intrusive about his pursuit of Pam