Was Sue Ellen Selfish For Leaving When They Were Searching For Jock, Or Was She Right To Leave?

[Billy Wall]

I know what she told Miss Ellie, “it was hard for her to leave JR” and what she told Pam, “if I don’t leave now, I don’t know if I could pull myself to leave him again.” But this was still kinda her family and they were going through a crisis. I thought it was selfish of her to leave after Miss Ellie asked her to stay.

 

[Toni]

I know what she told Miss Ellie, “it was hard for her to leave JR” and what she told Pam, “if I don’t leave now, I don’t know if I could pull myself to leave him again.” But this was still kinda her family and they were going through a crisis. I thought it was selfish of her to leave after Miss Ellie asked her to stay.

I don't know what you are talking about...

 

[Billy Wall]

I don't know what you are talking about...

During “The Search” episode. Sue Ellen was asked to stay until JR, Bobby and Ray get back by Miss Ellie. Sue Ellen reluctantly stayed for a little while but left before they got back. Her reasoning was that “it was hard to leave JR and if she didn’t leave now, she didn’t know if she could leave again.” I thought she should have stayed because the family was in a crisis.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

Sue Ellen was usually selfish, as were her in laws. But no more so for leaving the ranch when the family was looking for Jock; her reasoning seemed reasonable.

 

[Billy Wall]

Sue Ellen was usually selfish, as were her in laws. But no more so for leaving the ranch when the family was looking for Jock; her reasoning seemed reasonable.

I did see her point of view and she has every right to leave. I just thought that she could have put aside her anger for one day. But again, you’re right, she probably should have left after everything she’s been through with JR.

 

[Toni]

During “The Search” episode. Sue Ellen was asked to stay until JR, Bobby and Ray get back by Miss Ellie. Sue Ellen reluctantly stayed for a little while but left before they got back. Her reasoning was that “it was hard to leave JR and if she didn’t leave now, she didn’t know if she could leave again.” I thought she should have stayed because the family was in a crisis.

Thanks! Actually I did know. I just used Swellin's trademark line for a bit of fun. Poor moi!

 

[Angela Channing]

Of course she should have left. Miss Ellie was the selfish one for expecting Sue Ellen to stay.

Sue Ellen was living in an abusive relationship and for the sake of her mental wellbeing she needed to get out of that toxic environment. If Ellie and Jock gave Sue Ellen more support in the past maybe it could be argued that she owed them something. However, they allowed their son in Ellie's words to "destroy" Sue Ellen and then Ellie has the cheek to expect her daughter in law to stay in that situation for longer. It was an unbelievable selfish and self-centred request from Ellie.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

Of course she should have left. Miss Ellie was the selfish one for expecting Sue Ellen to stay.

Sue Ellen was living in an abusive relationship and for the sake of her mental wellbeing she needed to get out of that toxic environment. If Ellie and Jock gave Sue Ellen more support in the past maube it could be argued that she owed them something but they allowed their son in Ellie's words to "destroy" Sue Ellen. Then Ellie has the cheek to expect her daughter in law to stay in that situation for longer. It was an unbelievable selfish and self-centred request from Ellie.

I'm not sure Sue Ellen needed a lot more sympathy and support than she already got.

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

Sue Ellen behaved very selfishly by leaving Southfork whilst JR, Bobby & Ray were in South America.

All she thought about was herself.

She didn't stop to think of the consequences of her leaving would do to the Ewing family, not just JR.

Sue Ellen was a part of the Ewing family and she chose to ignore that by leaving Southfork whilst her ex-husband & his brothers were searching for her Father-in-law, the founder of Ewing Oil - Jock Ewing.

I never understood her explanation that all she could see of JR's return from South America without Jock was a hurt, little boy.

Sue Ellen had the opportunity to support Miss Ellie & the Ewing family & help them cope with the death of Jock but instead chose to abandon them for selfish reason's of her own. I was not impressed with her then & I'm not impressed with her now.

At least Pam was there for both Bobby & Miss Ellie. Pam showed her compassion for her family & her husband & indeed for Jock too, especially as they didn't always see eye to eye. Even Donna stood by Miss Ellie, Ray & the family too. Sue Ellen was a different story she just couldn't wait to leave. She couldn't cope with the possibility of leaving JR if Jock was dead so what did she do, she scarpered.

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

would JR have wanted Sue Ellen around at all at that point? I feel like they weren't in the "JR tries to woo Sue Ellen back" phase of their separation yet.

Miss Ellie was used to getting whatever she wanted by virtue of being The Great Miss Ellie Southworth Ewing, but I feel Sue Ellen was right to get the hell out of there when she had the chance. If Miss Ellie needed more emotional support, she could have called Mavis Anderson or the glamorous Linda Bradley, or hired Mrs. Reeves or Serena Wald.

 

[lbf522]

I remember the very first episode of the show when Sue Ellen was telling Ellie how Jock was constantly asking her if she was pregnant yet and Ellie said she would speak to him. What always got me about that was it should have been JR, Sue Ellen's husband, who should have told Jock to back off but didn't. JR was an awful husband to her no doubt about that.

 

[Toni]

would JR have wanted Sue Ellen around at all at that point? I feel like they weren't in the "JR tries to woo Sue Ellen back" phase of their separation yet.

Miss Ellie was used to getting whatever she wanted by virtue of being The Great Miss Ellie Southworth Ewing, but I feel Sue Ellen was right to get the hell out of there when she had the chance. If Miss Ellie needed more emotional support, she could have called Mavis Anderson or the glamorous Linda Bradley, or hired Mrs. Reeves or Serena Wald.

Or that compassionate Marilee Stone(heart)!

 

[CeeCee72]

Sue Ellen was absolutely NOT being selfish.

She was finally free. JR treated her horribly, but she loved him desperately. JR was always Sue Ellen's real drug of choice, alcohol was just a poor substitute. She knew if she got herself sucked back into his life, she wouldn't be able to resist falling back in love with him. Especially considering JR always had the most appeal to her when he was doing his wounded little boy act and needed her emotional support. She was trying to protect her own "sobriety." In more ways than one.

Ellie was the one who was selfish here. She was basically asking Sue Ellen to put her own emotional health on the line because the family needed her support. Yet the family never did a damn thing to support Sue Ellen while JR was abusive to her right on front of their eyes.

 

[Snowcat]

Sue Ellen behaved very selfishly by leaving Southfork whilst JR, Bobby & Ray were in South America.

All she thought about was herself.

She didn't stop to think of the consequences of her leaving would do to the Ewing family, not just JR.

Sue Ellen was a part of the Ewing family and she chose to ignore that by leaving Southfork whilst her ex-husband & his brothers were searching for her Father-in-law, the founder of Ewing Oil - Jock Ewing.

I never understood her explanation that all she could see of JR's return from South America without Jock was a hurt, little boy.

Sue Ellen had the opportunity to support Miss Ellie & the Ewing family & help them cope with the death of Jock but instead chose to abandon them for selfish reason's of her own. I was not impressed with her then & I'm not impressed with her now.

At least Pam was there for both Bobby & Miss Ellie. Pam showed her compassion for her family & her husband & indeed for Jock too, especially as they didn't always see eye to eye. Even Donna stood by Miss Ellie, Ray & the family too. Sue Ellen was a different story she just couldn't wait to leave. She couldn't cope with the possibility of leaving JR if Jock was dead so what did she do, she scarpered.

You can’t compare Pam & Sue Ellen. Bobby adored Pam & generally always supported her. I took Sue Ellen’s words to mean if she saw JR like a hurt little boy it would too hard for her to leave

 

[CeeCee72]

You can’t compare Pam & Sue Ellen. Bobby adored Pam & generally always supported her. I took Sue Ellen’s words to mean if she saw JR like a hurt little boy it would too hard for her to leave

BINGO

 

[Billy Wall]

Sue Ellen was absolutely NOT being selfish.

She was finally free. JR treated her horribly, but she loved him desperately. JR was always Sue Ellen's real drug of choice, alcohol was just a poor substitute. She knew if she got herself sucked back into his life, she wouldn't be able to resist falling back in love with him. Especially considering JR always had the most appeal to her when he was doing his wounded little boy act and needed her emotional support. She was trying to protect her own "sobriety." In more ways than one.

Ellie was the one who was selfish here. She was basically asking Sue Ellen to put her own emotional health on the line because the family needed her support. Yet the family never did a damn thing to support Sue Ellen while JR was abusive to her right on front of their eyes.

You totally changed my view. You are 100% correct.

 

[Chris2]

Nope - she wasn’t selfish at all. If I had been writing the show, after Sue Ellen discovered JR cheating on her with Holly Harwood, I would have had her wise up for good, divorce JR, and take her little boy and cut ties with the Ewings. But not before telling them all off. I didn’t like the whole revenge story with the film or Kimberly Cryder. I would have rather had her say, “Life is too short for me to put up with my rotten husband and his pathetic excuse for a family. Buh-bye!” Ultimately, hatred isn’t the opposite of love; indifference is. Of course, indifference isn’t as dramatically satisfying.

 

[CeeCee72]

Nope - she wasn’t selfish at all. If I had been writing the show, after Sue Ellen discovered JR cheating on her with Holly Harwood, I would have had her wise up for good, divorce JR, and take her little boy and cut ties with the Ewings. But not before telling them all off. I didn’t like the whole revenge story with the film or Kimberly Cryder. I would have rather had her say, “Life is too short for me to put up with my rotten husband and his pathetic excuse for a family. Buh-bye!” Ultimately, hatred isn’t the opposite of love; indifference is. Of course, indifference isn’t as dramatically satisfying.

That's an interesting point.

I am one of the few that have always though JR and Sue Ellen's relationship was most central to the show, not Pam and Bobby's.

JR needed exactly two people in his life to love him - Jock and Sue Ellen. I think he resented that. I think he resented that woman having that much power over him. I think that's why he treated her so badly. To punish her for making him need her.

But think about it.

Every single time JR's world fell apart, he went running to Sue Ellen for love and warmth. He was incredibly jealous over her other men, even while he was with so many other women.

And Sue Ellen was the same. She couldn't stay away.

I guess I am saying it wouldn't have been true to their characters - or the heart of the show- for either of them to have the power to be indifferent to the other.

The show started falling apart when Pam and Donna left. The death blow was losing Sue Ellen. Without her, JR had no more vulnerability and became a cartoon.

They needed each other. And the show needed them.

 

[Snowcat]

That's an interesting point.

I am one of the few that have always though JR and Sue Ellen's relationship was most central to the show, not Pam and Bobby's.

JR needed exactly two people in his life to love him - Jock and Sue Ellen. I think he resented that. I think he resented that woman having that much power over him. I think that's why he treated her so badly. To punish her for making him need her.

But think about it.

Every single time JR's world fell apart, he went running to Sue Ellen for love and warmth. He was incredibly jealous over her other men, even while he was with so many other women.

And Sue Ellen was the same. She couldn't stay away.

I guess I am saying it wouldn't have been true to their characters - or the heart of the show- for either of them to have the power to be indifferent to the other.

The show started falling apart when Pam and Donna left. The death blow was losing Sue Ellen. Without her, JR had no more vulnerability and became a cartoon.

They needed each other. And the show needed them.

I see both relationships as central. The writers made them completely opposite on purpose. JR & Sue Ellen’s relationship was extremely unhealthy. He abused her but needed her when he was at his lowest.

 

[CeeCee72]

I can't help but to wonder what the show could have been of Linda and Victoria had stayed.