EPISODE 4: THE FAMILY ALBUM
Well, that didn’t take long at all—we open with a shirtless Miles snoozing. For no reason other than that she’s a
weirdo, Fallon is sleeping with the Diamond Necklace From The Past in her hand. Who
does that? The Diamond Necklace From The Past puzzles and tortures amnesiac Fallon until Miles (smiling like a little kid) gifts her with a Necklace From The Present. Sean wins bonus points for living in a beautiful boat set (shot on location, too!). I thought they had forgotten all about him, but Hutch makes his triumphant return in this episode. The gathering storm looms in Connie and Hutch's relationship because he asks her to go away in an RV. "In
that piece of crap?" Connie demands. "Never!" Dominique literally barges into her first COLBYS appearance and something really fun happens: The show uses Monica's dissatisfaction with her father’s chauvinistic pig tendencies to make the two allies and have Monica work for Dominique. Fun! I found myself very much liking Beacham in this episode (is she settling in?) as Sable decides to make Connie seem mentally incompetent so she can undo the Jeff thingy. L.B. comes from DYNASTY to torture us on this show as well. Frankie has the appropriate reaction to this and cries. Through some way I did not comprehend (probably because I zoned out), Zach "outfoxes" Blake and Jason (Blake's word, not mine) and now, whoops, they have to make a deal with him! Ha ha. Just as Sable begins to entertain thoughts of sampling a piece of Spain. Miles and Jeff's love affair, erm, feud, intensifies. "Look into my eyes, tell me what you see!" Miles demands. I didn’t think it was possible, but he’s gotten worse since last episode. "You want me to anally destroy you?" Jeff responds. Well, it’s either that, or it’s nothing. In a nice little surprise, Garrett is revealed to be the one buying Dominique's stock, in hopes of getting into her stock, uknowwhatimean? Something to do with corporate foreplay or something. In a lovely ending scene (minus some acting here and there), Fallon discovers she is Fallon, yells at Jeff and Miles, gets into a car and drives off. This bitch really needs to stop driving off in a hurry every time there’s a little trouble in her life.
Shirtless Miles Count: 1
DDD
