Who called who what and when

[James from London]

Oct 89. April calls Tommy dangerous. April calls Michelle a user. Michelle calls Cliff rich. Kendall calls Cliff cheap. Tommy calls Rose a cheap little trick, a cheap little opportunist and trash. McKay calls April a busy little opportunist who goes from man to man the way a bee goes from flower to flower. Cliff calls April a little overprotective but a good friend. McKay calls Rose an old friend. JR calls McKay a turncoat. JR calls himself a hell of a lot more man than any of those hand-kissing foreigners. April calls JR the only person to give her the time of day when she first got here. April calls herself and JR quits, socially and professionally. Michelle calls April hell on high heels, St April Queen of Goodness and Light and America’s number one den mother. Alex calls Cally the hottest new artist in America and a wonderful dichotomy of talented artist and naive simple girl-woman. The news guy calls Yellow Springs, Ohio the first community in America to devote more than half their budget to the support of environmental issues. Clayton calls Pride, Texas a bustling community when the oil was flowing but right now it doesn’t even rate a zip code. John Ross calls England the place where all those people got their heads chopped off. Christopher calls John Ross a real jerk. JR calls Cliff a jerk. April calls Cliff a man whose brains have moved south of his belt buckle. April calls McKay a cold cruel arrogant man. McKay calls Rose’s flapjacks the best he’s ever had in his life bar none. Tommy calls Rose’s flapjacks light as a feather. Mr Brenner calls Tommy capable of almost anything. Tracey calls Tommy dead and gone. Tracey calls McKay full of rage and vengeance. Tracey calls herself McKay’s last chance and he knows it. McKay calls James crazy. James calls JR a rough tough raw Texan. JR calls monogamy not exactly second nature to him. Marilee calls fidelity an overrated virtue. Marilee calls Cally young and sweet. Miss Ellie calls April a sweet and thoughtful girl. Miss Ellie calls Cally a fine young girl. Cally calls Sue Ellen and April sophisticated powerful rich women. Cally calls April and Marilee women who use their bodies to trick men. James calls Sly a very unusual woman. JR calls James a cocky little kid and twenty-one or twenty-two. Cally calls Alex thirty-five or so, sort of good-looking in an artistic kind of way, well-mannered and what you might call refined. April calls herself a hundred years old. JR calls Marilee a little too old to go running about without her clothes on. Bobby calls Ivy a little too old for Christopher. Bobby calls Christopher too young to even spell romantic, much less be it. Christopher calls Southfork humungous. Christopher calls Ivy kind of nice. Cally calls Vanessa real nice. James calls Sly’s walk really nice.

 

[James from London]

Nov 89. Cliff calls JR Mr Humanity himself. JR calls Marilee Dallas’s answer to Vampira. Sly calls her work for JR confidential. Sly calls James a rebel. Vanessa calls James desperate for a father. Michelle calls James the centre of attraction. JR calls Michelle stupid. JR calls himself and Cally a team for life. JR calls himself the first of the family to treat Ray like a real brother. JR calls Ray an illegitimate half-brother, Daddy’s big mistake and a bastard in every sense of the word. James calls himself some bastard love child. Cally calls Vanessa the mother of JR’s child. James calls Vanessa a great mother. James calls his life pretty boring. James calls the Ewing refinery pretty impressive. Miss Ellie calls the Ewing name very special to her. JR calls Jock the man who started Ewing Oil. Bobby calls Ewing Oil deep in the lurch. Harve calls Ewing Oil up the proverbial creek. Michelle calls Cliff better than Ewing Oil, better than all of them, a very important man and a missile pointed at JR’s head. Cliff calls himself a better oilman than JR and Bobby and their precious daddy all put together and deeply ashamed of ever having had any association with Ewing Oil. McKay calls Cliff a man who once was part of Ewing Oil until he could not stand the hypocrisy and the man who intends to be the standard bearer in this fight against evil and corruption in the oil industry. JR calls the oil industry a twenty-four-hour-a-day operation. JR calls the Faraway Hill a substandard piece of tin. Al the Pal calls the Faraway Hill Ewing Oil’s sad little ship. McKay calls the Faraway Hill a ship that could barely stay afloat. McKay calls JR and Bobby greedy profit-mongers. McKay calls Michelle sharp and hungry. James calls Michelle smart enough to know which side to back. Michelle calls McKay a smart man. Michelle calls herself a valuable asset. Michelle calls April such a bitch. Michelle calls JR Cliff’s reason for living. JR calls Cliff the charity case in the office next door, a double-crossing snake and dead meat around here. James calls Cliff dumber than he thought. Cliff calls Bobby way out of line. JR calls Cally way off base. James calls JR his father, a pretty directed guy and real tough under fire. JR calls James a man after his own heart and quite a boy. Clayton calls James quite a boy. James calls Marilee quite a character. Marilee calls James a darling young man and one of JR’s better-kept secrets. Lucy calls James one of JR’s indiscretions, a strange boy and a constant reminder of JR and Vanessa. Bobby calls JR a bad actor. Bobby calls himself and JR the bad guys. Bobby calls Jock JR’s obsession. Sarah calls Tom Mallory and Jock the two people most dear to her next to her family. Jock calls a cornered animal the most dangerous.

 

[James from London]

Dec 89. McKay calls the Faraway Hill a rust bucket. Cliff calls the Faraway Hill a floating disaster waiting to happen. Bouleris calls the Faraway Hill a piece of junk barely held together with baling wire and chewing gum. Bouleris calls himself a laughing stock, the perfect patsy and a scapegoat for Ewing Oil. Bobby calls Bouleris a drunk who couldn’t steer his way to the drain in a bathtub. JR calls Bouleris a drunken sot with a lousy record ten miles long. JR calls Alex’s sexual tastes a little bizarre to say the least. JR calls Alex an artistic fella. Lucy calls herself a patron of the arts. Rose calls herself free and easy but never no whore. Michelle calls herself the devil in the blue dress and JR’s spy in the house of Barnes. James calls himself JR’s beard. Diana calls JR the man she's been hearing so much about. JR calls having it off with Diana nothing to do with Cally, mutually enjoyable and strictly business. James calls JR having it off with Diana pretty lousy business. JR calls James self-righteous. JR calls Cliff’s committee a bunch of witch hunters and vigilantes. Bobby calls Cliff’s committee the very model of a bipartisan public-spirited honest inquiry. Bobby calls Kay a lobbyist in Washington and a special person. Bobby calls April a wonderful person and jealous woman. Alex calls Cally a beautiful sensitive passionate woman, so damn faithful he was nearly sick and too good for JR. Diana calls JR a good husband. James calls JR a great father but a lousy husband. JR calls himself the best husband in Texas. JR calls Charles on his way to becoming a big man in Texas. James calls Diana a big name in social circles and a real barracuda. Cliff calls Diana such a bleeding heart he can’t believe she’s not a haemophiliac. McKay calls Cliff hot stuff. JR calls Cliff a genius at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and idiot. Alex calls JR an idiot, a fool, evil, stupid and a real bastard, the worst kind. Cally calls JR a bastard. Lucy calls JR a liar. Cally calls her marriage a lie and a joke. JR calls Cally a honey of a bride, the gal he comes home to, the most precious woman in his life and a poor misguided little girl. Kay calls herself a working girl, still single, still ambitious and still too busy to take care of her emotional needs. Kay calls Bobby under siege and a catch and a half. Dave calls Kay the master of the five-minute hustle. April calls Kay a saint, an option that Bobby will never have again if he marries her and Miss Washington DC. McKay calls Rose Mrs Carter McKay, the only woman in the whole world that he trusts and the young lady who starred with Cliff in that film. Cliff calls Rose a pretty lady, a pretty name and some bimbo. Cliff calls JR a snake. JR calls Michelle a money hungry little bitch. Michelle calls JR the big bad wolf. Michelle calls James incredible. James calls Michelle insatiable, gorgeous and easy to please. April calls Bobby and Kay so easy with one another. Bobby calls himself April’s number one priority and an old-fashioned type of guy who likes to take his time. John Ross calls James a real neat guy. John Ross calls Christopher a little drip and a tagalong geeky creep. Christopher John Ross pond scum and toe jam mixed together

 

[James from London]

Jan 90. Cliff calls JR his evil twin. Stephanie calls Cliff the right age, religion and party. Mr Afferton calls Cliff the man of the hour. JR calls Clarence Melville Red Gardner’s top man, the best guy in Texas for water injection systems and a no-nothing adolescent. JR calls Jock the greatest oilman that ever lived. JR calls himself the luckiest man in the world. Michelle calls April the luckiest woman in the world. Rose calls McKay the luckiest man alive. Clayton calls JR as insensitive as any man he’s ever met, off his rocker and a damn fool. McKay calls Bobby a fool, finished and a desperate man. McKay calls Cliff very loyal and a moron. Cliff calls Rose McKay’s tramp wife. Cliff calls McKay an SOB. Michelle calls McKay a real class act. JR calls Michelle his last chance to pull a rabbit out of Barnes’s hat, a little witch and Little Miss Tight Skirt. JR calls James a globetrotting brat who’d skip out on his own flesh and blood the first time they put the wrong flavoured popsicle in the icebox. James calls lying a way of life here in Texas. JR calls lying a way of life all over the world. JR calls America a great country. Cliff calls himself a new soldier in the American trenches. Mary Lou calls Cliff a leader in the war to save the environment. Stephanie calls herself the woman who can take Cliff where he wants to go. Stefan calls himself part of a continuing drama. James calls himself not some hick from Podunk out to make a quick buck. Diana calls herself not a big fan of innuendo. Bobby calls himself a macho chauvinist pig. April calls Bobby a self-centred macho Texas jerk, a pigheaded idiot and the ex-greatest love of her life. April calls Michelle a jerk. Michelle calls all the men in this town professional manipulators except for one. Michelle calls Stefan the only man around here who doesn’t go through life hopping from bed to bed. Michelle calls Bobby the only decent catch in Dallas. Michelle calls her friendship with Cliff the only decent relationship she had in Dallas. James calls Dallas a combat zone full of people trying to stick it to one another. James calls Diana one crazy lady. Diana calls Cliff an ambitious man, a rising star and a disgruntled ex-partner in Ewing Oil. Miss Ellie calls Pride the birthplace of Ewing Oil. Harve calls himself the legal representative of Ewing Oil. McKay calls Ewing Oil as dead as Bouleris is. McKay calls Jock a legend. McKay calls the oil business a chess game. McKay calls April a woman who’s not ashamed to go behind Bobby’s back to save his company. Michelle calls April a figment of her imagination. Michelle calls Cliff her ticket to the big time. Cliff calls the tanker collision an act of misadventure.

 

[James from London]

Feb 90. April calls Jeanne the woman that looks like Pam. Cliff calls Jeanne the spitting image of Pam. Jeanne calls Pam a good role model. Rabbit calls Curly a good friend. Bobby calls Davy Christopher’s best friend. Bobby calls Springdale, Ohio a long way to go just to think. April calls Springdale, Ohio a wonderful place. April calls McKay no better or worse than anyone else they have to deal with in this town. Stanton calls Dallas a ghost town. Bobby calls April a small town girl at heart. Stanton calls Jeanne a nice girl but she keeps to herself. Jeanne calls herself a middle class Dallas girl who’s been driving used cars all of her life and not exactly what you’d call a prime catch, especially for somebody like Bobby Ewing. Cally calls herself not a country girl anymore. James calls Cally a lot tougher than she thinks. Stephanie calls Gordon Wickstrom a tough interviewer. Cliff calls Stephanie a high-powered savvy lady with plenty of contacts, the queen of evasion and too good to be true. Jeanne recalls Bobby almost too good to be true, a great guy and crazy. Cliff calls Bobby crazy or stupid. Miss Ellie calls Atticus plain crazy. Rabbit calls Arlen a crazy old coot. JR calls Blackie a strange old bird, a friend of his daddy and a crazy old man who wants to spend one night of love with his eighty year old ex-girlfriend. JR calls himself as crazy as Blackie is. Blackie calls JR a nervous nelly and a prima donna. Blackie calls Jock overrated as an oilman and a great oilman, maybe the greatest. James calls the Dallas Cowboys the team with the worst record in football. Serena calls JJ the stingiest millionaire in Texas. Serena calls JR the shrewdest of them all and one charming devil. Cliff calls the environment one of our biggest problems. Cliff’s detective calls Stephanie Rodgers & Associates one of the biggest public relations firms in the state. Stephanie calls the ORC the most visible non-political office in the state. The man on TV calls Cliff Chief of the ORC. Sly calls Blackie President of Callahan Oil. Blackie calls Beth Anne the prettiest thing in Tulsa. Blackie calls George Bush Sr an old oilfield buddy of his. Mr Inagaki calls the days of the American oil baron over. Mr Inagaki calls McKay a dinosaur and an old man. McKay calls Mr Inagaki a Tokyo cowboy and a very difficult man. Rabbit calls Curly a rich man and a damn fool. Miss Ellie calls Curly a poor man, the only one drinking milk and an easy target. Curly calls Clayton the scourge of San Angelo. Clayton calls Curly’s death a terrible shock. Clayton calls Atticus a miserable old curmudgeon. McKay calls Atticus a miserable old goat. Bobby calls Atticus some kind of eccentric. Bobby calls Jeanne a mystery woman. April calls herself the perfect woman for Bobby. Duke calls legal gambling the way of the future in Dallas and Braddock Country the perfect place to start it up. Duke calls James the new Ewing on the block, a good looking boy and just like JR. Cliff calls JR really pathetic. Cally calls herself a piece of luggage JR can’t wait to unload every time he’s got business to attend to. Cally calls her life real boring and empty. Melinda calls Duke very boring. Melinda calls James very, very boring. Melinda calls her and James an item. James called him and Melissa not anything. James calls himself not some stud for hire.

 

[James from London]

Mar 90. JR calls Stephanie the kind of woman a man likes to see kneeling at his feet begging for mercy. JR calls Cally the ball and chain in his bed. JR calls Cally appearing on The Lizzie Burns Show the dumbest idea he ever heard. Mrs Stevens calls moving to Dallas the craziest idea she’s ever heard. Arlen calls Rabbit’s death the best news he’s had all year. April calls Austria the best time of her life. Cliff calls hiring Stephanie one of the best things he ever did in his life. Cally calls Michelle the worst woman in Dallas. April calls Dallas pretty cutthroat. April calls Springdale her home. Bobby calls Southfork his home. John Ross calls Southfork Cally’s home. Lizzie Burns calls Cally, Nancy Ann, Carol Sue and Katie Lynn home-wreckers. Nancy Ann calls Billy’s first wife a dried-up old Texas matron. Carol Sue calls her husband a good liar. Cliff calls JR a lying, cheating, stealing son of a female dog. Serena calls JR an old fox. Michelle calls JR a smiling cobra. JR calls Michelle a money hungry little bitch, a gold-digging little tramp, a public health hazard and a she-devil. JR calls James a little pup. JR calls Cliff a little gnat. Mrs Stevens calls April a bird with a broken wing. Bobby calls April not a little girl anymore. Clayton calls Arlen not who he says he is. Arlen calls Miss Ellie and Clayton those two busybodies who keep sticking their noses where they don’t belong. Miss Ellie calls Arlen’s death horrible. Miss Ellie calls McKay the last one that saw Arlen alive. Cally calls James the one who’s been keeping her from walking out that door. Cally calls Patrick the expert on relationships. Bobby calls Lucy an expert on the subject of inherited wealth. Lucy calls herself the owner of a very successful art gallery. McKay calls himself a minor owner in the Stevens sisters’ venture. McKay calls James his father’s son. Bobby calls John Ross his father’s son.

 

[James from London]

Apr 90. JR calls McKay the enemy. McKay calls JR a big boy. McKay calls Dallas big enough for both him and Bobby. Liz calls Bobby the only oilman she knows in Dallas. Cally calls Miss Ellie the only mama she ever had. Lucy calls Cally the only one not going anywhere. Cally calls herself pregnant, twenty-five years old and a fool Serena calls JR a pigheaded fool. JR calls James pigheaded, hotheaded and stubborn. Miss Ellie calls Clayton a stubborn mule. Clayton calls Jessica Dusty’s mother. Jessica calls Atticus Dusty’s father. Bobby calls Liz Ace Adams’ sister. Liz calls herself not exactly the oil company type. April calls her apartment not as nice as Southfork. Stephanie calls herself not JR’s darlin’. JR calls Michelle a money-hungry little vampire and a sticky-fingered shallow-minded money pit. James calls Michelle bad for business. Mr Inagaki calls Michelle the driving force behind the plan and someone who has their finger on the pulse of the time. Michelle calls April and James the two people she cared about the most. Michelle calls James the best present a girl ever got and one Ewing that doesn’t have marriage on his mind. JR calls himself the one giving the orders. Cliff calls JR the one person that can screw up his whole life. Michelle calls herself just the right one for James to throw up to his father, fine to sleep with but not to marry and the low man on the totem pole. Jessica calls Bobby a smart young man and just as sweet as she remembered him. JR calls Mayfield his kind of man, bribable and a moron. JR calls John Ross too young to be exposed to the sight of blood. Stephanie calls JR a contradiction and a bastard. Cally calls JR a bastard. James calls JR a monster. JR calls Cliff Mr Deep Pockets. Cliff calls Stephanie Miss Miracle Worker, a damn Jezebel and the best at what she does. Cliff calls Ace the best defensive tackle UT ever had. Bobby calls Ace’s company one of the best exploration units in the state. Bobby calls marriage one of the greatest leaps of faith that there is. Cliff calls Liz the ugliest woman he’s taken to lunch all week, the only woman he’s taken to lunch and a breath of fresh air. JR calls Stephanie a woman who doesn’t like to be told what to do and a closet jellybean eater. Stephanie calls jellybeans her secret weakness. Stephanie calls Cliff a strutting little peacock. JR calls Cliff a millstone round Stephanie’s neck. Cliff calls himself sick of being manipulated by women. Miss Ellie calls Jessica a very sick woman. McKay calls Jessica nuts. JR calls the sanatarium a nuthouse, a funny farm and a nice little establishment. Jessica calls the sanatarium an awful awful place. Jessica calls Clayton her real target. Jessica calls Arlen so proud of his aquarium. Lucy calls herself, Clayton, Miss Ellie, Bobby, April, John Ross and Christopher rats leaving a sinking ship.

 

[James from London]

May 90. Dr Wexler calls sanity a legal term, not a medical one. Dr Wexler calls Anita a rather unusual case, a black widow and a woman with insatiable sexual appetites. Morrissey calls the women’s wing his own personal little harem. Morrissey calls himself a pretty big wheeler-dealer over in San Antonio. JR calls Jock the most successful independent oilman in the southwest. Cliff calls West Star the largest independent oil company in Texas. Liz calls Cliff the nicest man she’s met in a long time. Cally calls James about the best friend she’s ever had in her life. James calls him and Cally friends — and that’s all. James calls him and Sly old friends. JR calls Jessica an old friend. Cliff calls Liz an old friend and a nice Texas girl. McKay calls Liz Johnny Dancer’s girl. JR calls McKay his worst enemy. JR calls Goldman a card shark. Cally calls Berman the lawyer JR trusted to get him out of the sanatarium. James calls JR rotten, a snake and a lucky man to have Sly working for him. Anita calls JR quirky. Cally calls JR crazy. Berman calls James crazy. Berman calls himself a dead man. Mr Allen calls JR a rich man. JR calls Anita simply outstanding. Anita calls Jessica an old broad. Jessica calls Dusty a thoughtful boy and her poor son. JR calls James no son of his, a turncoat and a little bastard. JR calls himself fresh out of matches. Bobby calls London great.

 

[James from London]

Nov 90. JR calls Dr Wycoff a miserable quack. JR calls Duke Carlyle a miserable toad and a man whose daughter is in jail for one of the most serious crimes in today’s society. JR calls James a chip off the old block, not even a half-breed and a vengeful so-called son. JR calls the sanatarium gang F-Troop. Morrissey calls the sanatarium a cushy little coed hospital. Morrissey calls Donio a doughnut, a nutcase and a pathetic moron. Morrissey calls JR a son of a bitch. Bobby calls Jordan a son of a bitch, as crazy as Sheila is, old and stupid. April calls Sheila crazy. Goldman calls Morrissey crazy. Liz calls Cliff absolutely crazy. JR calls Morrissey crazy, a loony tune and a member of America’s Dumbest Home Videos. Bobby calls Sheila crazy, extremely unpatriotic and nothing like his wife. James calls himself nothing like JR. Cally calls James too damn much like JR. Sly calls James a liar. The tattooist calls James a marked man. Donio calls himself ready to be a man. JR calls himself a very wealthy man. Sly calls JR a different man. April calls Cary Grant the greatest-looking man that ever lived. Sheila calls herself the clumsiest woman alive. McKay calls Liz the loveliest lady in the room. Cally calls April’s death the most terrible thing in the world. Sheila calls Paris the most romantic city in the world. April calls the night of the Great Waltz in Vienna the most romantic night of her life. Sheila calls her husband a man who lived by his word all his life. Sheila calls Bobby a rare good man in a world full of bad ones, a bastard and a stupid fool. Sheila calls April foolish little rich girl off on a great romance while the rest of us are going through hell. Bobby calls April Little Miss Matchmaker, Mrs Ewing Oil, beautiful, loving, kind, generous, missing and dead. Bobby calls the Seine even prettier than downtown Dallas. Duke Carlyle calls JR the best poker face in Dallas. Johnny calls Dallas a great town. Johnny calls Cliff a local hero. McKay calls Cliff not the buffoon that he once thought he was. Cliff calls revenge not the most important thing. Cliff calls James not a bit more compassionate than his old man. JR calls premeditated murder a capital offence. JR calls lethal injection a nasty way to die. JR calls Rose a woman who could peel the paint right off the walls. Jordan calls Captain de Rougement the head of the local anti-terrorist unit. Captain de Rougement calls the other Captain de Rougement an impostor.

 

[Lastkidpicked]

Aug 2019
After enjoying reading the posts from James From London, the Lastkidpicked calls him a cunning linguist.

 

[James from London]

Dec 90. Breslin calls Sheila a complete and total mystery, a regular churchgoer and nothing at all like the woman Bobby said he knew in Paris. Harve calls LeeAnn a mystery woman. Bobby calls LeeAnn a striking woman. Liz calls Sheila the woman Bobby’s looking for. James calls women mighty changeable. Vanessa calls James a vulnerable little boy that she has to protect. Johnny calls Cliff a boy scout. Cliff calls Foley Petro-Tech a privately held company. Harve calls De La Vega Oil a privately held cash-rich Venezuelan company. LeeAnn calls herself clearly not Venezuelan. McKay calls West Star not for sale. Bobby calls Cliff not a murderer. Michelle calls herself not the same naive little girl JR shipped away to Bermuda. Mr Inagaki calls oil not an industry in which his banking connections wish to invest. Rose calls herself not a lady, drunk, hurt and mad. Michelle calls herself hurt, angry and selfish. McKay calls Tommy full of hate and anger. McKay calls JR the man that seduced his wife. JR calls himself the one person McKay hates more than anyone else in Dallas. JR calls Sly about as loyal as anyone could expect. JR calls firing Sly a terrible mistake. JR calls April’s death a terrible thing. Vanessa calls April’s death a terrible terrible tragedy for all of you. James calls Vanessa JR’s great long lost love. James calls himself flat broke and kind of greasy. James calls JR a lying cheating whoring no-good bastard. Rose calls JR a son of a bitch. Rose calls having it off with JR one of those things. JR calls everybody around here crazy. JR calls Clayton as dumb as he is big and a traitor. JR calls Michelle a silly little twit. JR calls James a dirty little turncoat and a smug little brat walking around with his head in the clouds. JR calls Vanessa the only woman he’d ever stay true to for the rest of his life. Cally calls Vanessa the woman JR measured all the rest against and they all fell short, the woman JR should have had all along and JR’s last chance to ever be happy. Cliff calls Liz the last person he wants to see and the woman he loves. Cliff calls Johnny the goon that put a gun in his ear, a slimeball and a bastard. Liz calls Johnny a dangerous man. Johnny calls Liz cold as ice in January and a wild horse that’s never been ridden. Bobby calls Liz an agent for the United States government. Liz calls Cliff the perfect antidote to Johnny, boring, self-involved and ambitious. Detective Busey calls Cliff his number one suspect. Lieutenant Busey calls Liz and Johnny quite an item in the old days. Harve calls Allegio Casul and Tomas Marquez two of the best corporate attorneys in Caracas.

 

[James from London]

Jan 91. LeeAnn calls Venezuela quite beautiful, in a romantic sort of way. Bobby calls April an incurable romantic. April calls herself the perfect woman for Bobby. JR calls LeeAnn a very beautiful woman. JR calls Vanessa the most beautiful woman in the world, the one true love of his life and the one who wanted him to fight for his company. James calls Michelle the one who ran off on her sister and him. Michelle calls McKay the last person JR would want to have Ewing Oil. LeeAnn calls McKay a very nice man. LeeAnn calls her abortionist a miserable dirty quack. LeeAnn calls Michelle very intuitive. Michelle calls herself a terrible host. Vanessa calls herself not much of a Dear Abby. LeeAnn calls Vanessa a lucky lady. Paul Keats calls himself a lucky boy. Cliff calls himself the luckiest man in the world. JR calls Ewing Oil the most important thing in the world. James calls Vanessa the new Mrs Ewing. James calls Cally the ex-Mrs Ewing. James calls JR evil and a monster. Michelle calls JR despicable and a snake. Michelle calls James a dumb mechanic. Vanessa calls James cruel. JR calls James a filthy piece of garbage. McKay calls Rattigan a piece of slime. JR calls Rattigan a crooked cop. JR calls Sly his eyes and ears. JR calls Cally a country hick. Cally calls herself kinda numb. LeeAnn calls Cally the little blonde girl. LeeAnn calls Dallas a great deal different to Caracas, much more amusing. LeeAnn calls JR good at what he does, mighty impressive and so easy it was pathetic. Liz calls Paul Keats clearly good at hiding things, a slick customer and a major ladies’ man. Jill calls herself pretty good at chasing the blues. Jill calls deregulation sexy. Jill calls Bobby a good-looking man. Bobby calls Jill exactly what he needs. Bobby calls Keats a man involved in one of the largest bank failures in the state of Texas. Liz calls herself a dyed in the wool Texan and proud of it. Liz calls Sheila Foley Hilary Taylor. Keats calls Hilary Taylor John Foley’s mistress for years. Keats calls Bobby no stranger to independent wealth. Bobby calls Liz a very handy lady to have around. Liz calls casual pickups out of vogue. LeeAnn calls kissing JR out of line. LeeAnn calls James JR’s son by the woman he just became engaged to. LeeAnn calls her daddy a Baptist school teacher and one strict man. LeeAnn calls Ewing Oil not nearly the size of her Venezuelan company. JR calls himself not a hired hand. Rose calls McKay not a bad person but capable of killing that man. ADA Carter calls Rose incapable of telling the truth and a small-town hairdresser. McKay calls Rose his last hope and that little whore.

 

[James from London]

Feb 91. Bobby calls Ewing Oil dead. LeeAnn calls Michelle the new owner of what used to be Ewing Oil. Christopher calls Michelle bitchin. JR calls Michelle a little twit, a little tramp, a little slut and a little guttersnipe. JR calls having it off with Sly a one-time thing. JR calls Vanessa the only woman he’s ever loved. Lee Ann calls Vanessa the wrong woman for JR. Vanessa calls herself a very possessive woman. Senator Garrity calls Liz a very attractive woman. Senator Garrity calls JR a son of a bitch. JR calls Caracas a beautiful city. JR calls Liz a beautiful lady and the new Mrs National Energy Tzar. James calls Michelle his new wife, Mrs Beaumont and the blushing bride. James calls himself the stalwart groom. Jory calls herself a wannabe actress and a small-town girl. Bobby calls Dana a fun-loving girl. Dana calls Bobby and Jory Ken & Barbie. Jory calls Hilary the only mother she’s ever known. Jory calls Kit way off base. Jory calls John kind of schizoid. Jory calls Dana kind of a character. Dana calls Bobby that cute man from next door. Kit calls Bobby old but cute. Jory calls Bobby a poor old man and the last of the dinosaurs. ADA Carter calls McKay a free man and guilty as hell but there’s nothing we can do about it. Carmen calls her husband not a real man, boring and completely under the thumb of LeeAnn. JR calls Cliff a lucky man. Michelle calls herself a lucky girl. Michelle calls JR, Sly and Phyllis fired. Michelle calls Derrick hired and only useful as long as James is there to see him. Michelle calls James wonderful, loving and sweet. LeeAnn calls JR a wonderful dancer and a toad. LeeAnn calls the samba the world’s most sensual dance. Carmen calls LeeAnn a no class nothing.

 

[James from London]

Mar 91. JR calls a handshake the law of God. JR calls the Green Door Motel a tacky little fleabag. JR calls Jimmy a little rascal. Debra Lynn calls JR Jimmy’s grandpa. JR calls Debra Lynn a torpedo boat waiting to sink James and Michelle’s marriage. David calls James unequivocally and legally married to the lovely Miss Debra Lynn. Debra Lynn calls Texas green and pretty. DeeDee calls Southfork really hot. Michelle calls DeeDee a bimbo. Michelle calls James a kid. James calls Christopher a kid. James calls John Ross just a kid. Cliff calls James no executive, no kind of husband and a dead weight. JR calls Cliff his own worst enemy. JR calls Blackie’s funeral sad in a bunch of ways. JR calls revenge the single most satisfying feeling in the world. Cliff calls himself the happiest guy in Dallas. Michelle calls James the sweetest most thoughtful thing. James calls Michelle one of the few people who knows how to stand up to JR. JR calls Michelle another Pam, a conniving little bitch and a stupid little bitch. Liz calls McKay a miserable son of a bitch. McKay calls Cliff a pathetic little man. Cliff calls McKay crazy. Cliff calls Liz crazy, a traitor and Little Miss Innocent. McKay calls Michelle Miss Ewing Oil. Cliff calls Michelle a spy in the enemy camp, what he’s needed all along and a tough cookie. Michelle calls James and JR really buddy-buddy. Bobby calls JR not over the hill yet, Daddy’s son and Jock Ewing right now. Cliff calls JR the reason his life’s in pieces right now. JR calls Bobby the horseman of the family. Liz calls JR good to the last drop. Bobby calls himself the last of the good guys. Sly calls Blackie the guy that found the gusher in Pride. Meg calls Blackie the last of a generation. JR calls Blackie the last of the great wildcatters. Bobby calls Blackie a good old boy. JR calls James a nice boy but he doesn’t know the first thing about keeping a woman happy. JR calls Liz a smart woman. Liz calls Cliff addicted to losing, a hopeless case and sure as hell not the sort of man she wants to spend her life with.

 

[James from London]

Apr 91. Michelle calls James a stud and a bastard. Michelle calls Cliff a bastard, a sleaze bag and a miserable creep. Cliff calls James a creep, a little skunk and a dumb kid. Michelle calls Jimmy that damn kid and all James has talked out since Debra Lynn arrived. JR calls Jimmy a cute kid. John Ross calls Jimmy a stupid baby. JR calls John Ross a little too old to be jealous of a baby and almost a man now. James calls John Ross a little sucker. James calls Cliff way off the wall. JR’s physician calls JR’s cholesterol practically off the chart. JR’s physician calls JR overweight, overstressed and about to explode. JR calls Ewing Oil the company he’s had to fight for all his life. JR calls Haleyville a pigsty. JR calls himself a single parent, the head of the family, the man that’s going to get Michelle out of jail and the new Chairman of the Board of West Star. Cliff calls himself the new owner of Ewing Oil, Michelle’s new husband and the conservator of Michelle’s estate. Michelle calls Hilary the woman who killed her sister. Michelle calls JR the reason she’s in jail in the first place. Debra Lynn calls JR forceful. Debra Lynn calls herself a third wheel. Jory calls herself a legal voter, a legal drinker and lots of other good legal stuff. Bobby calls kissing Jory interesting to say the least. Bobby calls himself a friend who understands exactly what Jory’s going through. Debra Lynn calls herself the one James is legally married to. Michelle calls Debra Lynn Bambi, the Little Mermaid and a little country mouse. Debra Lynn calls Michelle rich and beautiful. Jory calls Texas beautiful. Bobby calls Texas a lot quieter than California. Bobby calls Jory a tireless teenager. Bobby calls flowers nice to smell and balloons fun to look at. Clayton calls Bobby the new owner of Southfork. JR calls Southfork just as much his as it is Bobby’s. JR calls Clayton Miss Ellie’s no count second husband who’s always trying to tell us what to do. JR calls Miss Ellie the woman who was the head of the family. Clayton calls Miss Ellie sick of the fighting and tragedy that seems to haunt this family. JR calls James a young man in search of a family. James calls the Ewings JR’s family not his. Michelle calls the Ewings the people that everyone looks up to. Cliff calls himself the world’s leading expert on the Ewings. Bobby calls himself the best two-step teacher that there ever was. John Ross calls JR the worst father in the world. Jory calls Hilary the most wonderful person in the world. McKay calls Rose the best thing that ever happened to him. Cliff calls Michelle the drunkest bride he’s ever seen, a lying cheating no good bitch and a damn fine looking woman. JR calls McKay a son of a bitch. James calls JR a jerk and the father he always wanted. JR calls Cliff a jerk and an idiot. JR calls Jory that poor kid. JR calls Hilary that poor woman, a kidnapper and a murderess. JR calls Michelle that poor girl, out of her mind and crazy. Bobby calls Michelle not too crazy to recognise Hilary Taylor and to shoot straight enough to kill her. Jory calls Hilary happy at the end.

 

[James from London]

May 91. Sue Ellen calls herself a failure. Sue Ellen calls New York her home. Sue Ellen calls Jeff a creepy little snake that lied. Jeff calls Sue Ellen a difficult little bitch to work with. JR calls Kristin a little bitch, a call girl and a cop. JR calls Jeff a slimeball. JR calls Sue Ellen weak. JR calls Val southern trash. Toni calls Val’s house a dump. Adam calls Toni a little screechy and the new Mrs Ewing. Adam calls JR pigheaded, pitiful and a hard man. JR calls Bobby a lucky man, so damn pure and everybody’s All American. Bobby calls McKay too nice a man to kill him. Kristin calls Judge Smith a nice man. Val calls Alton Wallace a very wealthy man. McKay calls Bobby a dead man, full of fire and a very bad boy. McKay calls himself a nice guy. Kristin calls herself Officer Shepard of the LAPD. Bobby calls himself the last person that should give anybody advice. Annie calls Bobby’s life a mess. Adam calls Bobby the company pimp, a small-time hustler and a lot more interested in what’s on the outside of a woman than what’s on the inside. Adam calls Kristin and Sue Ellen not very close. Adam calls Val not the same hash-house waitress JR remembers. Adam calls Cliff not the same old Cliff Barnes and one of the great presidents in history. JR calls Adam crazy, a hypnotist, a damn liar, a little runt, a little windbag, a weirdo, a wacko that escaped from a mental institution and some sort of apprentice angel. JR calls himself just drunk enough to go along with Adam. Adam calls Gary the eldest brother, a lousy oilman, a happy bachelor, a Beverly Hills lawyer and always Miss Ellie’s favourite. Adam calls Top of the World his favourite show. Adam calls Kristin the little lady who ended up in the Southfork pool and a con artist. Adam calls Nicholas alive and well. JR calls Miss Ellie alive and well and married to that idiot Clayton Farlow. JR calls Gary scum, a punk and a Ewing, that’s for sure.Jason calls himself a Ewing all the way. JR calls Jason a disgrace to the Ewing name, a cheap hustler, a sleazeball and a miserable cretin. Bobby calls Jason a miserable excuse for a human being. Gary calls Jason a selfish little jerk and the world’s worst excuse for a brother. Adam calls Sue Ellen one of the most successful people in daytime television. Nicholas calls himself the happiest man in the world. Ray calls himself the luckiest guy in this world. Adam calls Ray the only one of the brothers that’s happy. Cliff calls himself Acting President of the United States.

 

[James from London]

Nov 96. Julia calls herself a good rider and a terrible cook. JR calls Anita a good lawyer and a lovely girl. McKay calls Ewing Oil a good company and a small part of a long-range programme he’s promised his board. Julia calls Bobby Dr Ewing. Julia calls Cliff an odd little man. JR calls Christopher a fine young man. Sue Ellen calls Bobby all man. JR calls Bobby a ladies’ man. Anita calls JR a dead man. Bobby calls Jock dead in the same way this feud between JR and Cliff should be. Cliff calls JR’s death too good to be true. Sue Ellen calls herself half-convinced that JR faked his own death just to get her and John Ross back here. Sue Ellen calls JR an optimist and a bastard. Bobby calls Sue Ellen his new partner. Bobby calls JR the conquering hero. McKay calls JR a son of a … Cliff calls JR an S.O.B. and that snake brother of Bobby’s. JR calls Cliff that idiot Barnes, a moron and no threat to McKay. JR calls Julia a lucky lady. Cliff calls Pamela a beautiful young lady and his daughter. Pamela calls Bobby cool. Bobby calls Southfork a mighty big place to rattle around in all by yourself. JR calls Southfork a morgue. JR calls Dallas his and Bobby’s town again. Sly calls JR the largest minority stockholder in West Star. JR calls himself the ideal choice as the next Chairman of the Board of West Star, the prodigal brother, a kinder gentler JR Ewing and the greatest oilman in Texas. JR calls Sue Ellen and Don’s separation the best news he’s had in years. JR calls Sue Ellen a hell of a woman. JR calls Afton that poor darlin’. JR calls John Ross tickled pink they’re all together again. Christopher calls John Ross crazy. Afton calls herself not crazy. The cops call Afton under arrest for possession of an illegal substance.

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

@James from London - you've made me want to watch even what everyone considers the terrible last seasons. Was this reunion movie considered a dud? You make it sound fun!

 

[James from London]

you've made me want to watch even what everyone considers the terrible last seasons.

My work here is done.

Was this reunion movie considered a dud?

Not as far as I know. It must have done well enough for them to make a second one.

You make it sound fun!

It is!

 

[James from London]

Apr 98. Jennifer calls Troy Aikman her hero. Jennifer calls the oil business her entire life. Sue Ellen calls oil a business for early risers. JR calls Sue Ellen a really powerful businesswoman, fragile as bone china and some sort of a workaholic. JR calls Jennifer a hell of a businesswoman in her own right, the head of a big European cartel and the answer to Bobby’s prayers (and his own). JR calls Anita one extraordinary woman, one amazing woman and Little Miss Think-of-Everything. Bobby calls Sue Ellen a strong woman and someone who sounds a lot like JR. Sue Ellen calls Bobby a far cry from JR. Sue Ellen calls JR her competition. JR calls West Star Oil the top independent in Texas. JR calls himself, Sue Ellen and Bobby three single multi-millionaires under the same roof. JR calls Bobby tough, lonesome, pure as the driven snow and a hell of a brother. Ray calls JR the second-best brother he ever had. Anita calls Ray not JR’s favourite brother, up to his elbows in debt and a Texas cowboy who blows all his money. Ray calls himself flat broke. McKay calls Ray’s ranch the only piece of undiscovered oil-rich land in Texas. Peter calls McKay the most brilliant oilman in the state. Sue Ellen calls McKay the only oilman she knows that can beat JR at his own game. Bobby calls McKay obsessed with JR. McKay calls JR a son of a bitch. JR calls McKay an old buffalo. Rattigan calls JR McKay’s biggest enemy. Rattigan calls Peter McKay’s right-hand man. JR calls Peter a killer and a maniac. JR calls Ewing Oil rightfully his. John calls JR leveraged up to his eyeballs. Anita calls JR mighty wild. Anita calls JR’s mind evil. Sue Ellen calls JR’s mind Machiavellian. JR calls Ray Daddy’s one big mistake, a bad penny and a little bastard. Bobby calls cattle rustlers bastards.