Useless things the soaps taught us

[Toni]

"Never forget that servants already have enough work with taking care of a 48-room mansion.
So please take your pills and leave this nonsense!"

#11: GUESS WHO'S SERVING THE DINNER​

From "Dynasty"´s "Body Trouble". Starring Linda Evans, Heather Locklear, & John Forsythe.
PS: One of the many (laughably) terrible scenes in the show's history, probably deserving the first or second place of all.

 

[Toni]

"Don´t forget to quarter the corpse if you happen to kill someone. You never know..."

#10: THE WALKING DEAD (THE PREQUEL)

From "Melrose Place"´s "Dead Sisters Walking" (II). Starring Josie Bissett, Laura Leighton, & Patrick Muldoon.
Note: Go to 7'28'' for the scene in question. Don´t watch the whole video if you are going to watch this season anytime soon, because it compiles all its minicliffhangers. Oh, and it´s dubbed into a perfect Spanish.

 

[Toni]

"Never listen to a little "angel" if he orders you to shoot yourself. It´s probably from Hell."

#9: THE END THAT NEVER WAS

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From "Dallas"´s "Conundrum". Starring Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy, & Joel Grey.

 

[Toni]

"Never ever jump off a roof, sweetie pie. Brother Josh will do it for you some day."

#8: KNOT JUST ANOTHER TREEHOUSE OF HORROR

Starring Joan Van Ark, Julie Harris, Michele Lee, Donna Mills, Constance McCashin, & Kim Lankford.
Note: This edited version from YT is for laughs, but I can tell you it has been very much improved!! So thanks to its editor if he comes around this forum.

 

[Toni]

"Be careful when your mate´s first "other" personality shows up: The nest might be full of cuckoos."

#7: BREE VAN DE KAMP WAS BORN IN MELROSE

From "Melrose Place"´s "Melrose Unglued". Starring Marcia Cross & Thomas Calabro.

 

[Toni]

"Don´t trust the bitch sister in the Poolhouse (nor the husband who sleeps in your bed either)."

#6: SABELLA GOT HER GUN

From "The Colbys"´"The Trial". Starring Stephanie Beacham & Charlton Heston.

 

[Toni]

"Remember: Karma is a bitch (and bites back too)."

#5: THERE GOES THE BRIDE

Starring Emily VanCamp, Josh Bowman, Barry Sloane, Nick Wechsler, Justin Hartley, & Gabriel Mann, among others.

 

[Toni]

"Enjoy life as long as you can, because it´s not a bed of (guns and) roses."

#4: NUN ON THE RUN

From "Falcon Crest"´s "For Better, For Worse". Starring Jane Wyman, Abby Dalton, Mel Ferrer, Margaret Ladd, Susan Sullivan, Robert Foxworth, & Lorenzo Lamas, among others.
Note: The nun fun begins at minute 21 and continues until the very end. Watch the whole thing if you have time for it because it´s like an episode of "Roadrunner & Coyote".

 

[Toni]

"Trust me: Husbands don´t grow in tress, nor resurrect in showers."

#3: DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME

Starring Victoria Principal, Patrick Duffy, Morgan Brittany, & Larry Hagman, among others.
Note: Go to minute 5 to see how the credibility of a drama series is destroyed forever in only two minutes.​

 

[Toni]

"Truth may be out there, but who wants to believe in white tall men from outer space?"

#2: CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE SECOND SEASON

Starring Emma Samms & UFE (Unidentified Funny Extra).

 

[Toni]

"Be careful with what you see on TV or internet. Books are so much better!"

#1: DEJA VUDOO

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This is a TIE:
From "Flamingo Road"´s "Murder, They Said". Starring David Selby, Morgan Fairchild, & Stella Stevens.
Note: Go to the last minute to see the Series Finale so...spoiler if you are or will watch this "campy cult" show!

From "Falcon Crest"´s "Last Dance". Starring David Selby (too!), Susan Sullivan, & Jane Wyman.
Note: Go to minute 3 to see the Season 7 Finale and stop at the freeze frame!! Big spoiler alert if you are or will watch this classic series!!

PS: Well, friends, I hope you had enjoyed this crazy ride! See you at any of the other threads! Kissy-kissies from me and the Piggy.

 

[Sarah]

Never mess with The Wife - yes - THIS Wife -

 

[Kevmac]

Wonderful Stuff, @Toni ...... brilliant Thread. Thank you for posting all these clips..... very entertaining.